how long did you hurt after your spouse left you? (divorce)?

Question

I go through these cycles, over and over! I hate it! its been two years. is it because she had an affair, with a much older guy than me, who has no money? then married him with in 6 months. and got pregnant with him right away! #W$%$#%#

Answer 1

let go, cut loose.
there is no getting better as long as you keep on feeling the anger.
she left, because you were not meant to be. I am sure someone better waits for you around the corner, but it will never ever happen unless you move on.
Love has nothing to do with age, money, religion etc..
so don't try to understand why she left. she just did,period.

You need to focus on yourself, she has a life now and a kid and you? You are still thinking about her instead of looking at new possibilities and enjoying the freedom.
Thank God this affair and all happened soon, imagine to be married to someone for 40 years and than experience such a crisis.
Next time, be sure you are with the right person and that she really wants you and no one else.
good luck

Answer 2

i still think about the past. I am remarried now but i think it is normal to look back at times and remember the good and the bad ( more bad than good)
You're bound to still hurt and be crushed if the relationship took its toll from an affair and such. It gets better with time but very slowly, Get out and meet people and get involved in activities with groups, this can help ease some pain and fill gaps of when you would be alone instead.

Answer 3

It hurts for a long time. You need to get out and make some friends , go to church , learn a new hobby. Start dating even if you don't feel like you want to it will make you feel better. these Ideas are just some of the things I did when I was going through this. With enough time and effort on your part it will get easier. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

I suppose that I still go through "cycles" too, but (for me) it's been 5 1/2 years. I've forgiven myself for the mistakes I made, & I've forgiven her for hers. I've even been forgiven by God. Realisticly, though, I still wonder how I would react if we ever met again. Would I express regret, & ask for another chance? Would I let her into my heart again, if that's what she wanted? I'm engaged again, & I still have these feelings. Would carrying all that baggage along with me be fair to my new wife? Even though some things can't ever be gotten over, is this insecurity fair to impose upon another? I don't think so. Seek professional advice, brother -- not the tripe you'll get in this forum ... from people who may (or may not) have an even bigger chip on their shoulders.

Answer 5

I'm sorry to say this, but you're your own worst enemy.

You have so much anger within you that you won't let go of the pain. Think about it: you are tormenting yourself worse than she ever could. While she's moved on and enjoying life, you're still living in the past beating yourself up.

So, what's done is done. You don't like it, but there it is. Forget the past and move on. Find your own life and live it.

And, the hardest and most difficult task is to forgive her sincerely from your heart. This is for your benefit. If you don't, you'll be miserable forever.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Oh specific. i've got executed it & so have my mothers and fathers. it actually relies upon on how respectful you're to a minimum of one yet another. i grew to become into not married yet I did could stay with my boyfriend for 2 months because of the fact of monetary motives after a breakup. It grew to become into palms down the main depressing time of my total life. lines have been crossed continually & I felt trapped even with the shown fact that it grew to become into nevertheless possible because of the fact I wasn't in concern or something. My mothers and fathers divorce grew to become into lots worse & i finished up having to get rid of my mom from the abode because of the fact i grew to become into in intense concern for her. i'm getting married next week & i've got faith that if we had to interrupt up suitable now shall we nevertheless stay jointly & flow on with some admire for the different. We merely approximately broke up a on a similar time as in the past over an argument it is now resolved yet we never disrespected the different & desperate that we would help one yet another get by it. So it actually relies upon on the type you're as a pair. on the very suited this is uncomfortable yet whilst neither of you're a risk to the different then i could say you're merely doing what you're able to do & this is going to be over sometime so which you would be able to the two flow forward.

Answer 7

About a week. Then you realize that you were soooo much more miserable in so many ways actually being married to that person. And you feel guilty because you are a tiny bit relieved. Do what makes you feel better - if you want to be alone, then be alone. If you want to date, then date. And don't let anyone judge you.
It gets better.

Answer 8

You should console yourself with the fact that she is stuck with some wrinkled old loser. She's going to end up being his nurse and changing his diapers. You should be laughing at her stupidity and glad thankful you got away from this toxic person before she could ruin the rest of your life.

Answer 9

it takes time. it's a grieving process and everyone goes through it differently. for your own sake though, it's really time to move on. once you can focus on anything but the hurt you still may feel, you'll be much better off:)
blessings and luck to you

Answer 10

My heart goes out to you. You were wronged. She is happy and you deserve to be to. Get counseling. Just a few sessions will show you how to move on and forget that *(&^$! Do it for yourself, and you can move on.