Do u share your password, bank accounts with your husband? Dou every day cook for him?

Question

What a working married woman suppose to do? Do you also have same accounts, password..is it ok to have our own accounts. Save our own money but when needed I can give. Just dont want to be put everything into one. What is that everyone do? Plz suggest...

Answer 1

I think it's fine that you don't want to put everything into one account, if that makes you more comfortable, then why not?
My ex and I had separate accounts, we agreed that I would pay certain bills and he would pay others. When we went out to eat or for fun, sometimes he would pay, and others I would, there was no record of who was next, it was just the way we did it, and were content doing so.
As for passwords, we never asked each other for them, though sometimes, when he was occupied or working, if I was writing at home, he would ask me to type some letters or material for him and send them through his e-mail, so he gave me the password for that particular e-mail address.
As for chores, I am the queen of clean (as he called me sometimes), so preferred to do the cleaning myself, which was fine by him, he he. I would also cook more often than he would, as my schedule was less hectic than his, he would cook sometimes and usually worked the repairs or fixed things around the place.
We also had our own friends and interests, sometimes he would go out with his, sometimes I went out with mine, and others we would go out together with his, mine or combined.
We had a balance of independence, yet still emotionally and mentally linked in many ways...except religion.
It was an equal and open relationship, which are of the few aspects that I do miss sometimes.

Answer 2

When I was married, we had both separate and shared accounts. We would put a certain percentage of our income into our shared account to take care of bills etc, also some into the savings account for our trips and future plans. The rest of the money would stay in our private accounts. I could never allow myself to control my husband's money and I thought he should have been able to spend the rest as he pleased as long as our shared responsibilities were taken care of. I needed the same freedom.

Also, I believe in giving each other lots of space. I never asked for any passwords, neither did he. As far as cooking, we went through different phases. At some point I was working 14 hour shifts because I was getting promoted and my job was my priority, so he did most of the home chores since he had more free time. When he opened up his firm, I took on the home responsibilities so that he could get some peace of mind and rest---he was going through a stressful time starting his own business. I don't think there is a rule. It simply depends on what phase you're going through and how much free time each one has. I think it's important to take care of each other instead of making it one person's obligation. It's all about being a team.

Good luck!

Answer 3

In some situations it would make sense that the wife would cook almost all the meals like if you don't work and he does or if you just workpart time and he works a full time job but otherwise if you both work you guys should probably share that responsibility. My husband does most the cooking and the laundry but the way we split chores I do everything else.

As for accounts and passwords. I have some trust issues my husband knows about and I do know all his passwords and he's fine with that. We each have our own checking and savings but we have a joint checking we each contribute to for the bills.

Answer 4

Of course we do, we set up a joint account right after we got married. All the money coming in goes into the account, all bills get paid out of that one account. It's simple, no need to make it complicated. Some people say to this, well then what do you do about buying one another gifts, for example - well, then you just take out cash. Your husband should be keeping his business account separate from his personal account, anyway, for tax and other purposes, so that shouldn't be a problem. I would worry about why else he doesn't want a shared account - if he's not willing to pool the money, I think that's odd. Having one account also equalizes things if one spouse makes more than the other - because it's all 'our' money, literally. I've seen here on Answers where spouses are paying certain percentages of bills according to their income - and that's just insane...

Answer 5

There are no written rules about how to deal with your family finances: you do what is working for both of you. We started out having joined accounts. It was not working for me at all: I need my space. So we changed to having separate accounts and sharing in all our family expanses equally. That works for us. We make all the most important financial decisions for our family together, so there are no secrets. We also put money aside for our 5yo child and her future and our retirement. We have been married for over 17 years and cooking was always a shared responsibility. In our 20ies I cooked every day, in my 30ies I was establishing my career and later building my business, so my man picked up that chore. Right now I have a system, where I do most of my cooking on a weekend and don't have to worry about anything beyond salad and a side dish during the week. That works for all of us. Good luck in making your own decisions, creating unique system that will work perfectly for you.

Answer 6

I did the joint account, etc. when being married before and refused to do it this time. That's how it's been since the get go in this marriage. Everything is separate and, although he rags about it, I have kept my passwords private. I have the need to have a few things kept to myself. I don't feel being married means sharing everything you own or know. Like I said, I'm keeping something for me.

Answer 7

well before we got married we got some help with this matter. the accoutnant suggested to have a join account from which we would pay our bills, and i mean all bills, regardless of who they belong too. those are things that have to be paid. the money is deposited based on a simple formular, you add up all the monthly bills and they figure out a percentage of each others share to it based ont he money you make. if your husband makes more then he will deposit more. they we each have a personal account. yes we do have each others passwords. I do cook for my husband every day not because i have to but because i like it. if i dont feel like cooking i know i can ask him to do it and it will be done. good luck. i know it is confusing but you do need to combine your lives.

Answer 8

I have been married for 18 years. My husband and I have our own bank accounts. However, we do each know the others pin number and do occasionally go to the bank to do each others business if one of us is busy. He knows all of my passwords online. We use the same e-mail addresses. We have full faith and trust in each other so we have nothing to worry about. That is what true love is all about.

Answer 9

We combined ours right after we got engaged. We knew he would probably be leaving for Iraq and I would need to handle finances while he was away, but we would have combined everything anyway when we got married. When I was working, we shared the cooking/cleaning responsibilities. Now that I stay home, I do pretty much all of it, but I don't work outside the home, so the work each of us do is about equal.

Answer 10

There is no right or wrong answer. You have to decide with your spouse what works for the two of you. My husband and I have separate bank accounts until we start having children. I pay my student loan, car payments, cell phone bill, etc. He pays his bills and anything to do with the house. This keeps us from fighting over money. We also buy our own groceries. This might seem appalling to other people, but it works for us. Find out what works for you. Good Luck!