If everything is our fault then.........?

Question

Ok I was reading the Christian version of "The Secret" and after reading a few pages I got deeply disturbed about something. This author was saying that nothing is destined to happen and it is what we do that attracts good or bad stuff. That if you judge you'll be judge, if you are sweet people will be sweet to you, if you're mean and so on.

Well what about people who get murdered and raped? What about that woman who got raped and killed at red lobster?! How is that her fault?! How did she attract that predator? I highly doubt she was wearing revealing clothes! What about an infant who's victim to some perverted crime? What about a girl who's extremely modest(both physically and personality wise) goes on this date and gets raped because she doesn't know anything about sex and noone told her about what guys say and act when they want it?

That it's their fault?! Is this what this so called Christian is saying? more to come......

Is this Christian saying that the infant PURPOSELY attracted the molestor? The red lobster woman wanted to be raped and murdered? The sweet and naive girl wanted to be raped? THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!!!!!!!!! Can someone explain?!

If it is so then how can people NOT attract abusers and killers? Please someone explain I am so deeply disturbed that I doubt I'll be able to sleep at night.

But one more thing. What if you fear getting raped or killed and you got raped and killed? Did you attract that? How?

Answer 1

This is what is being said. Take responsibility. That is it. You are the author of your destiny. According to the secret they are basically saying that everything that happens to you is your own fault, this I do not agree with completely. But I do think that if you follow the advice of the secret and act as if everything is your fault, essentially take responsibility, your entire life will change for the better.

Answer 2

That is sort of the latest cult belief system, that we get what we attract, etc. Buzz words like"The Power of Intention" make a nice living for some new-age prophets, but does damage to those who do not do anything (or think anything) to bring on some of the horrors that life can have in store for them - or the great things, either.

All that kind of thinking does is "blame the victim", and make a person feel bad if they had a bad roll of the cosmic dice...while making them also believe that they have omnipotent powers to change nature or the behavior of others, simply by THINKING a certain way"!

That kind of philosophy would have to you believe that YOU are somehow responsible for that earthquake or hurricane, etc.

If you believe (as I do) that our path is pre-determined to a certain point, then you will see the pain that you may have been put through is a learning experience, etc.

What can be helpful is to change your perspective about some experiences - that is one way that you have control. Not everything is pre-determined - we have free will, up to a point, to do what we can to make our lives better.

I was an abused child, raped & beaten for years - and no, I didn't bring it on. It helps me greatly to believe that I have learned from the bad experiences, and am making conscious choices to improve my life and the lives of others.

We humans have a tendency to be too hard on ourselves, especially when we choose to follow a religion or belief that essentially makes us feel worse for being human.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't take personal responsibility when we know that we have made a mistake - that is o.k., so we can learn from it, and correct it. But for things that are not in our control - which are MANY - don't let anyone get you down by saying that you somehow brought it on or deserve it. That is the thinking of sick minds.

If you do follow Jesus, he was actually a very loving and forgiving man, one who chose to cure the blind man, rather than blame him for being blind.

Answer 3

Hold on one minute - no one, and I mean NO ONE has all of the answers to "why". It is NEVER the fault of a victim, it is the fault of the attacker, predator, and whomever let that bastard go undetected for their mental irregularity. No religion or philosophical ideals can protect you or I or anyone from bad things. They happen, they are awful, and we don't wish them on anyone, but if someone is raised as a decent and loving person, and taught to respect others, the chances of them turing to a life of victimizing are slim to none. All child molesters and rapists and murderers have someone who brought them up, and failed to PARENT the jag. In many cases, and I'm not saying I feel sorroy for them, but they themselves have been victimized. It is a matter of breaking the cycle of violence and teaching values and morals to the young, because they eventually grow up and are turned loose on to society. If you research any of those bastards upbringing, you will find some poor parenting and that the son of a ***** was not treated well as a child. Again, I don't feel sorry for someone who does not learn from the mistakes of others, and I certainly do not feel sorry for the douche that repeates and even escalates the abuse onto others. Every outspoken individual who is a self-made spokes person for any religion or group will claim to have "the answers", but nothing is guaranteed. It is not a new idea that what you gives comes back to you. It only works if EVERYONE lives by those values. As civilized people it is HOPED that it would be that way naturally, but there are those who have been so distorted and their chemical and brain wiring make-up have them to the point where they have no sense of anything beyond themselves. They don't see their victims as living beings with value and worth, they don't see them as respectable peaceful beings, they think that the world owes them for something they are missing in their pathetic, miserable existences.

Answer 4

Do you really believe that everything that happens to you is your fault? That is a silly assumption. There are situtations you wouldn't have been in, had you the known it was not the place to be, but that doesn't mean that everything bad is automatically your fault. Education and experience keep the large majority of us out of trouble. But if someone breaks into my house, and kills or gets killed, how is that my fault?
The difference between destiny, and choice, I can understand. But I think you carry this too far. To take anything of this nature literally is a mistake. Heck, the difference between whole religions can boil down to a difference of interpretation of a few lines of scripture. Ask a Jehova's witness sometime.
Either way, relax and get some sleep. And lock your doors....

Answer 5

I will admit, I have not read this book. I do believe if you send out negativity, you will attract it to you. If you send out "I am a victim" signals, you will be a victim. It is not a conscious choice to choose to be victimized, or to invite, rape, murder, etc. There are random acts of violence. But, don't tempt fate. Believe in the positive. If your interpretation of what this author is saying is accurate, I'd burn the book. Revealing clothes, drinking, even foreplay - does NOT give anyone the RIGHT to rape! If a man chooses to act this way, it is his choice. Too many Xians tend to always blame the woman. So do Muslims....

Answer 6

Nothing is Satan's fault. He can most effective gift a alternative to you. If you decide upon that direction, manage the penalties. That is all approximately freewill and also you are not able to provide an explanation for away why a few folks do dangerous matters and blame it at the satan. When you get all the way down to it, it is their fault. As a ways as the child in Africa, is that God's fault? To an quantity, more commonly. He might intrude however for a few intent or a different, He does not. I do not know why. Was the Earth intended to be filled with discomfort? No. Adam & Eve selected that for all people. Again, a different influence of opting for badly and discomfort for it. I don't have any suggestion why God does not make extra rain in Africa. Perhaps He wishes folks who've a well existence to support the ones folks out. I are not able to provide an explanation for matters like that considering the fact that I'm now not God. It's now not reasonable and it isn't correct however alternatively, existence is not reasonable and nobody is above discomfort. There are folks on this nation ravenous to demise every day. Is that God's fault or the folks who do not support them considering the fact that they are checked out as lazy or bums? We all have the vigor to difference dangerous matters but such a lot people simply ***** or desire a God to be like a genie and repair matters for us. He is helping those who are not able to consistently support themselves. Besides, there is not any technique to inform if that youngster or her tribe exsessively sinned. Just considering the fact that you sin, that does not imply your existence is dangerous and simply considering the fact that you are well, that does not imply your existence will likely be handy peasy. My mother is a sexy righteous lady. She's long gone via such a lot crap however she's a well character and believes in God. She does not blame God for the dangerous matters. She questions Him however she offers with and actions on. There's no happiness/no discomfort card for believing in God. You do not think in God to have a well existence. If you do this, you are going to be upset considering the fact that dangerous stuff will occur. You are not able to assume God to step in at all times. He's denied regularly and harm at all times. He's now not there only for the dangerous instances. He's now not there to "repair" matters. If you do not like anything, difference it. Quit seeking to blame God for the state of the arena and support out your fellow guy. If you are that worried with Africa, become a member of the Peace Corps and support out or ship cash to them.

Answer 7

the best i can say is don't believe everything that the supposed christian religion preaches. and don't believe what one author writes.
there is a lot i don't agree with about the christian religion (and many others) for similar reasons. they make no sense.

i believe i karma - what goes around comes around. i also believe in life. things happen in life that are out of our control. sometimes something happens to us. like rape. rape happens. maybe it was my fault i went to the bar with my friends. it was my fault i trusted my friend and went to his apartment to watch a movie. it was his fault he raped me. it was his actions. i could not control his actions. the rape was not my fault. if it was, it wouldn't have been rape. it would have been consensual sex. but it wasn't.

i say whatever this book you're reading is full of B.S. read it for the sake of expanding your mind and seeing how other people may view things, but don't believe what it says. don't make it your life model.

Answer 8

the author is just, perhaps using one philosophy school that is FUNCTIONALISM. dont ever treat his work as absolutely true. no further explanation on his claim is needed because you've already found the questions to destroy his arguments. if you are really disturbed, then appreciation of philosophy is next.

Answer 9

The main problem is you're expecting a logical argument from Christians.