thanx i dont know what to call it!!!!
It would be nice if this didn’t recur.
I believe that it would be easier,
If emotions never began to stir.
Then things would be, again, as they once were.
My heart, a broken dove, a bloody mess
The scars have tingles of longing feelings
And the band aids itch, begging for caress
My knees give out, I fall into kneeling
Its jagged edges prick me as I breathe
In my exaggeration it’s past fix
I should be more careful as to unsheathe
The protective cover that hides its nicks.
If my pitiful death is coming near,
I’m sure it will be of drowning in tears.
2007-10-05 14:14:51 · 5 answers · asked by xo_electriclime_kiwis_xo 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
"Scars Have Tingles"
would make a cool title...you are talking about things not repeating... and well... if a scar is tingling... sounds like its the repeat of an old wound... am I right?
That's my favorite sensory line in your poem.
I love how non-chalant the first line is.... it would be nice if this didn't reoccur! lol as if you are talking about a rainy day or an error in a computer system. We're talking blood, scars , tears and death so it sets up that the speaker has reached a point of bitter humor...laughless humor... almost pained sarcasm. Good stuff here. You may want to re examine some of the meter and flow... read it out loud and see how it reads and that may help... but overall you have some great stuff in here. I know all you wanted was a title but I can't help it!!!!! : )
2007-10-05 14:44:00 · answer #1 · answered by W~~~Dream a Little Dream~~~P 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Skinned Knees
2007-10-05 14:18:13 · answer #2 · answered by Skatermomof5 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
on the grounds that its your first poem i wouldnt listen approximately getting a identify thats adversarial or has a mystery that means at the back of the that means so sticking with "True Love" would paintings for now however for those who do what to head for an additional one identity additionally recommend "The Key" EDIT **the keys and locks have a complete lot extra that means than that of which was once written at the first line...i did learn the whole poem, the white guinea pig, and that i nonetheless feel that "the important thing" or whatever else with locks &c makes a best identify -desire you discover the identify thta satisfactory fits you, chika
2016-09-05 19:21:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Emotions
2007-10-05 14:18:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you seriously need to work on the syllables in each line and revise your poem, big time. You also need to fix up the word choice and edit it.
2007-10-05 14:19:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋