How would you feel and react if your husband got an email from a girl he had sex with that she was pregnant and miscarried at the same time you got pregnant??
He told me he hadn't had sex with anyone for 6 months before he met me.....
We don't have a normal relationship...he is very jealous and insecure and has always brought up stuff in my past...but now he has 3 girls from his past repeatedly trying to contact him and now this email....
As far as I know he is faithful...I have no reason to believe he isn't....
He also said he never had sex without a condom but she swears he didn't wear one....
I've always been 100% honest with him....
She said it's been on her mind and she was scared to tell him because he was in college and had just found out I was pregnant...but she needed to get it off her chest...
2007-10-05 13:38:31 · 15 answers · asked by mommyx3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know it's rambled but with these three girls I'm finding out stuff about my husband I never knew...or even would've thought...He has always accused me of doing stuff when in reality it's turning out to be stuff he did....
2007-10-05 13:39:50 · update #1
I've learned from personal experience that if he/she is constantly bringing up stuff from the past and making comments that suggest you might be unfaithful, it's usually that person that is being unfaithful.
They assume if they are doing it, so are you.
If she needed to "get if off her chest" why didn't just tell her friends???
Something is definitely going on. I mean I think it's okay for a guy to be friends with girls, but this is a bit to fishy. And if he's overly jealous that right there is a red flag.
I think marriage counseling should be in your future, but I'd recommend you go to therapy first to help you sort out what it is you really need to say to your husband and then see a counselor, and encourage him to see on first. He won't but still suggest it. But make sure if you see a marriage counselor it's someone neither of you have seen before.
The bottom line is he's being sh*tty and needs to figure out what's more important to him.
Good Luck!!
xxx
2007-10-05 14:01:15 · answer #1 · answered by Shel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you are going through this. It is very painful to think we have been deceived or manipulated.
Oftentimes, when someone has a guilty conscious, they project that onto their partner. So, someone who is unfaithful will be jealous and accuse their partner of cheating.
It is concerning that 3 girls are repeatedly contacting him. He could tell them it is inappropriate or block their emails, but it seems he hasn't, which makes one wonder.
It's a sad day when we realize that our being 100% honest does not mean our partner feels the same obligation.
Your question was how would I react: I would not scream or yell or carry on. If I was carrying his child, he has a responsibility to me and the baby to be honest. I would ask he to have an AIDS test and I would insist he sign the HIPA form to include you as someone who could discuss his medical condition. I would watch his reaction carefully to everything I say, as this will show if he was a keeper or not. If he gets mad, blames, yells, etc, he is not. If he says he is sorry you can not trust him and agrees readily to the test and form, he is.
Good luck.
2007-10-05 20:50:32 · answer #2 · answered by xxxxxxxxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the question is do you believe him? I recently discovered my hubby wasn't quite the man I thought he was but I still love him. Why are these women contacting him now or have you only just discovered this? Take some time and think things through on your own and trust your instincts then when you're ready sit down and have a good talk with him and try to get to the truth of it all. Don't rush to make a decision of any kind, just do what feels right.
2007-10-05 20:47:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You asked how I would react. I wouldn't tolerate such a thing. That's how. I would leave his sorry behind and take him for all he had. If there is an old bike in the garage but I don't know how to ride a bike. I don't care. I would sell it and demand half. Half of everything. Even the chipped mug he drinks his stale coffee in. With a guy like that. I would be Queen B.
2007-10-05 20:54:43 · answer #4 · answered by Red Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if these things are from his past then they need to stay in his past. And it shouldnt matter now but if he`s messing around then thats a different story. If you fell he is faithful to you then leave the past alone. But the fact that he accuses you of cheating is usually a sign that he`s up to no good and is trying to justify his actions by believing youre doing the same thing.
2007-10-05 20:47:27 · answer #5 · answered by mythoughts 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, my experience has been - when a man is very jealous of you, you can't trust him. My ex use to interroigate me all the time. It's their way of keeping you in place. Sort of a magician's trick - "Look at what your doing, or have done" (So you don't see what he's doing). Trust me - he's doing everything he claims you've done or might do.
By the way we were married 1 yr. and he got another girl pregnant. That'll never happen to me again.
Good Luck!
2007-10-05 20:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by ingenuebabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Lord Girl, your young, Run now, and fast. He's a cheater and if you let him get away with all this unfaithfulness, he will destroy you and your child to be. Yes it is true if someone continually accusing you, they are full of quilt, and want to push it out of themselves, and blame others. He must be a smooth talker. He's the kind of guy who will father many children, and never pay child support.
2007-10-06 03:13:14 · answer #7 · answered by Living Life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would talk to all 3 girls and then confront them with him TOGETHER!! Have a little meeting that should 1 make him get realll nervous and start to spill everything right there!! Good Luck =]
2007-10-06 04:10:11 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ღ♥Alisa♥ღ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out what it is that he really wants. And what you can believe. It would hurt me incredibly to find out this information. You must go with your instincts on this one. If you really believe he has been faithful to you since marriage then put the past behind you and go forward.
2007-10-05 20:54:17 · answer #9 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave this so-called 'man'. He will do nothing but bring you trouble and problems and heartache sweety.
Assh0les like him just make it harder for decent guys like me to find good girls to be with. I'd gladly tear his head off for you. Be doing you, myself and every other decent man and woman a favor.
Do your best and try and get yourself into a situation that is away from him, but safe for you and your kids.
2007-10-05 20:51:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋