What circumstances would lead you to settle for someone you knew you did not want to marry? Did you learn to love him/her or not? Are you still married?
Please be descriptive. I have time to listen. Thank you.
2007-10-05 11:58:51 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
settling is a childs way out of loneliness.
one can never "learn" to love another.
i have been married 3 times and never settled once.
i had a live-in gf of 4yrs that settled throughout her 2 marriages and i'm afraid...with me also tho i never settled with her.
don't ever settle. find out what u really want before finding a partner.
find whom u really want and whom really wants you and tell everyone else 2 go suck an egg.
2007-10-05 17:02:09 · answer #1 · answered by junkyarddogfan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not so sure the it is really as much "settling" as just doing things for the wrong reasons. Like for sex alone or money or looks or wanting to get away from something else and on and on......Once the dust settles, people then realize where they are and many do not like the confines of a monogamous relationship and that is when the cheating starts and break ups occur. I do not believe that people think enough beyond the flaming romance stage to really evaluate the differences that they both have. It takes years to really know who someone is. Anything less is a crapshoot but I guess everything is anyway so.....
2007-10-05 12:20:44 · answer #2 · answered by Mon-chu' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only settling you can do in a marriage...is the divorce settlement. There is no settling in marriage, and I hope you are not considering this option. There are so many people in the world, and it is hard and scary to know if the "one" really is the "one". But if you enter into something as huge a marriage, you should do it willingly and nothing less than happily. Otherwise - you are just setting yourself up for a heartache, as well as one for your partner. Everyone gets cold feet, and it can cause you to question even the deepest of love. I dont think anyone learns to love another - I think you learn to tolerate the other, and maybe learn to live with them. Love and marriage sometimes are not in the same sentence - marriage is hard work and it requires alot of give and take. That is hard enough to do when you love the person, I could not imagine being forced to carry on if you werent in love with that person. I know I am babbling, forgive me on this. I just mean to say - life is so short to be anything less than happy. Marriage is not always happy, and if you enter it already unhappy then you are just setting yourself up for failure. If you really want to go to Disneyworld, but your spouse insists on the Grand Canyon - you may settle and not go to Disneyworld. Can you imagine if you settle on your partner, and see another you'd rather have walk by? Quite a disappointment. Good luck in the search of your answer.
2007-10-05 12:10:09 · answer #3 · answered by My2Cents 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Settling is just accepting, or compromising, what you might really want. Not fair to you, or to the person, because time will usually make you resent 'settling', and make you always feel that you were cheated by giving up. HOWEVER it is possible to grow in love, share goals, & make a life. Hard work, but all marriages are...enter into this with full knowledge & if you do, always know that only in Hollywood do relationships seem fool proof...real life is a day to day work of progress. MAIN THING in life is to ALWAYS listen to that inner 'gut' feeling..if you EVER go against that you will regret it. That's the main voice you should listen to, in all things.
2007-10-05 12:06:39 · answer #4 · answered by LaVerne W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I settled for a breif period of time. I had a child to this person and thought it would be best to be together for our child. I never loved him and I ended up breaking it off cause I knew in my gut that he wasnt my soulmate. I met my current partner 3 years later and we are now married. Never settle for something that you know you dont really want.
2007-10-05 14:16:40 · answer #5 · answered by mezzyboo - downunder 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never settle for someone that I truly did not love. It's not fair to the person you are settling for and it's not fair to you either. Nobody has to settle. There is someone out there for everyone. Give yourself time and find the right person.
2007-10-05 12:05:16 · answer #6 · answered by t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets give one possible situation: if you are very shy and have a problem being aggressive... if and when you are hit on you settle for it. and in time you learn to accept it. I would think with the right time you could love this person, however I think you give up on a part of your self, when you settle. you also give up some sort of personal control ???
2007-10-05 12:09:06 · answer #7 · answered by rey in mexico 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people settle when they are afraid of being alone..so they take the first offer that comes along. or they cannot get who they want so they take what comes along. instead of waiting or holding out..it is possible to fall in love. .. a lot of people in arranged marriages ended up falling in love..and then there were some who never even grew to like the person. love is mysterious
2007-10-05 12:06:49 · answer #8 · answered by foosieboy1953 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way i would settle for someone i did not want to be with, is if they were the last person on earth
2007-10-05 12:05:07 · answer #9 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋