can my marrige be saved?

Question

my husband went away for work , and wanted me to go but i didn't want to .There now has been a big blow up and he has ended our 11 years of marrige and 2 children we had a lot af money problems which has caused a lot of fights . He said only loves me as the childrens mother and thats all. Do you think it can be repaired.

Answer 1

I know it hurts like hell but why would you want someone that you know does not want you. Has he got you thinking that know one else would want you. My husband left me after 18 years of marriage so i know what you are going through. You have to let him go,if he has any love for you he will find his way back to you like my husband did. Remember it's not like you will never see him again you have his kids. I do think there is more to this then your telling us. Your husband sounds like he has a girlfriend waiting for him to leave you,but that still doesn't mean your marriage is over. Most of the time when a man leaves his wife he soon realizes that he made a big mistake and wants to come home. My husband was gone for 2 1/2 years but we still saw each other a lot and we got along better then we ever did so us separating was a good thing.
My husband has moved us two different times two different states and i never hesitated for a second. That was a very big mistake on your part.I love my state and told my husband that i would never move but who was more important to me my home state or my husband. My husband wins hands down every time.

Answer 2

your husband went away for work and you didn't want to go so you stayed behind with the kids and you have been married for 11 years you all had a lot of money problems which caused fights between the two of you. If he tells you that he loves you as his children's mother than he is not in love with you any more so whats to repair the marriage with.
i always close by this the choice is yours not mines if you think you can fix it fix.
best of luck

Answer 3

I would love to answer your question with a solution but I was a person who followed my husband for 17 years. Every time we moved (every 2 years, for his job.) I had to get a new job (with no pension, I cashed mine in for the next house~but I thought our life was forever!.......... I thought his pension was an investement in our future for 17 years. I quit my job and went with him and our two children. 17 years later, I left, our children were 25 and 15. I did not touch his pension, The 25 yr old was away from home. the 15 year old was home and, I want him to stay with dad. Dad made triple the money I made. It took me alot of years to come to terms with this, but there is happiness all around. The best thing we ever did. We are all happy now and that is what I always wanted. For you I only wish happiness!
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Answer 4

I think, and I don't mean to be mean, however if you loved him and had wanted to be married to him, you would have gone with him. The couple in a marriage has to come first...it is the foundation of the family.....you helped tear down this foundation and let time and space come between you. You put something else first, either the children or where you live...it doesn't matter, something else came first and he is feeling it. I would never want to be far from my husband for an extended amount of time, I don't even like it much for short business trips.

Answer 5

Look, you probably don;t want to hear this, but whenyou have money problems already and your husband has to move to find work its your job as the spouse to pack your s__t and go with him. Having not done that, you may have pissed him off beyond repair. You could always go to him and beg forgiveness - who knows, maybe he'd listen. Of course, if he is like most men he probably has some other skirt stashed around to make him feel better and soften his fall..Give it a try...

Answer 6

I think he might be angry that you didn't follow him. This can bruise a mans self esteem and then they think you don't love them as they love you. He probably said what he said to hurt you. Try talking about this subject with him and see if his attitude changes around. Eleven years is a long time to just throw in the towel. Good luck - I've been married 27 years and believe it or not you can really become best friends as the aging process starts taking hold.

Answer 7

Yes, I would definitely get some joint counseling and make sure that the direction you both want to go is for the right reasons. However, if his mind is made up, there is nothing you can do but take care of yourself and children and move on.

Answer 8

You are his wife and you have children. You should have gone with him, to support him and so that you both could continue to give your children a STABLE, loving, 2-parent home.

No wonder he blew up: you basically told him you don't respect him enough to give him your support as leader of the household. HE didn't end it; you did.

Start by sitting down with him and say "Honey, I know I should have said yes about going with you, to support you. I made a terrible mistake. I want you to know that I respect you and admire how hard you work for us, and if you want to go, I'm ready to start packing."

I'd be willing to bet a thousand bucks he is shocked, then starts to melt toward you.

Try it. But MEAN IT!

Answer 9

I made the decision to save myself, but I broke that promise to myself. Part of me wishes I could change it, but then again I don't because I'm marrying the man I gave my virginity to this summer so at least he's the only person I've ever given myself to and vice versa for him.

Answer 10

I think your marriage can be saved But you may need to take some time apart. Get to know you and what it is you want. I went through a simillar situation we were separeted for 2 years.I enjoyed our ttime apart because I learned me. We are together now and we are stronger than ever.

Good luck