how should i react to finding the test?
2007-10-05 11:29:05 · 20 answers · asked by mother of 15year old 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
tell her you found it and support her in whatever decision she makes.
i'm sure she is scared and worried now. the last thing she needs is for you to freak on her.
2007-10-05 11:32:13 · answer #1 · answered by Malina 7 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Not sure what you are saying. I think you are saying that you know she is pregnant but she doesn't know you know?
When I found out my daughter was pregnant I totally suprised her by huging her and letting her talk, She was sure I would scream at her. Other family members yelled at her, they never gave her support.
Because I listened to her, she listened to me. We bounced ideas off each other. We were able to discuss options.
She was against abortion. She was open to adopting the baby.But, she also dearly wanted the baby. She was older than your daughter(age 21) But she didn't have education or a job.
We discussed what life would be like if she kept the baby.
Personally I think strongly that 15 is way too young to keep a baby, unless you, the parents become the guardian of the baby and raise it. A 15 yr old is way too young to raise a child. And when that child gets older she will wonder why her mother didn't raise her. You do have a huge decision to make.
There is so many couples that can't have children and would love to give your daughter a good life.
Interesting to point out....I adopted my daughter when she was 11 days old. She seriously considered giving the baby up.
I told her that if she came up with a good plan I would support her in it. She went to school while pregnant and became a manicurist. She had plans and she took them seriously.
I am not sure at the age of 15 I would of let her keep a baby. I believe at that point I would of become the mother. I didn't have the health or strength to raise another child.
I believe that if kids are old enough to be having sex, they should be old enough to become a parent. Thus, a 15 yr old is not old enough to be a parent and should not be having sex.
I would suggest to aproach her with love. Ask her if you all can discuss this without yelling. Tell her she has an adult issue and that she has big choices, but still she is very young and needs adult guidence. And there will be times when she doesn't have a choice because she isn't an adult.
I would also suggest that you don't constantly argue or fight about this, She will rebell and want the baby just to pisss you off.
The greatest love a mother can have for her child is to realize that they can't mother right now and there are familes who can. That is the greatest love of all. To let go, when need be.
My daughter now realizes that she was not abandoned- but was out of love given a better life. Having her own children has taught her this. She is on baby #3. She is in a long term commited relationship and daddy is the daddy genetically to the youngest 2. The oldest's dad rarely comes around. So, her mom's fiance is totally and completly her daddy.
15 is way too young to be making choices that my daughter had to make.
I wish you well
God Bless you all
2007-10-05 11:50:06 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I feel you should approach her about it. Being pregnant at that age is a huge responsibility. Then you both can talk about what you both feel is the right decision. All i have to say is i didn't have my daughter til i was 20yrs old and let me til you its so hard raising a kid. Make sure when you both sit down and talk about she realizes all that it comes with becoming a parent. Supporting the child financially(medical insurance,clothes,food,diapers,etc.)as well as emotionally, and physically. And make sure its something you want as well cause am sure you will being helping her out too. Its a big step and one of the hardest choices she will have to make but if you both approach it with a reasonable attitude it should be fine. Just what ever you do don't yell at her and judge her. Am sure she knows it all already or at least played a few different outcomes in her mind. And last thing is see if the father is going to be a part of the child's life cause that can make a big difference too. But over all just be there for her i know she is scared and unsure of her self.
2007-10-05 12:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by lady D 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I think that u should be there for her wether u agree with it or not ... Just remember what did ur mother think about when u were prego ? Depending on the age and situation i dont know But as ive been there one time i was scared to tell my parents I was 22 at the time but still i was scared adult or not .. but just knowing my mother was there for me made everyhting be okay .. And he letting me make the decisions made it eaiser or me to know what i had to do ! And iam now a prod mom Of a beautiful boy ! and my mother and father are happy grandparents !
2007-10-09 08:16:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is she? If she is under 18, you are still going to be held legally accountable for every choice she makes so be directly confrontational and tell her that you know already. Your daughter will probably be relieved that she doesn't have to spit it out.
If she is over 18 but still lives at home, wait it out. She may or may not want to go through with the pregnancy and she is going to need time to sort out her issues before letting you in on the whole thing.
If she's an adult and lives away from home, keep your mouth shut and wait for her to tell you because you probably did something inappropriate to find the pregnancy test.
2007-10-05 11:35:37 · answer #5 · answered by e_d_ellis2004 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
How old is your daughter? Teenager? I know it sucks but the best thing you can do is not flip out. Stay calm and help her deal with this like an adult. If she doesn't know that you know, then you need to tell her. Don't let her try to hide it she could only hurt herself or the baby.
2007-10-05 13:18:57 · answer #6 · answered by honeybear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
time to sit her down and have a good heart to heart talk! tell her you are disappointed that she wasn't comforable with talking to you about this situation but then let her know that you are there for her no matter what and everything will be ok. She probably already feels bad about it, so don't lecture her. she will learn the consequences of her actions very soon as this will definately make her grow up fast. Just be supportive but let her know she has a lot of responsibility heading her way!
2007-10-05 11:49:34 · answer #7 · answered by blondie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you see her calmly ask her if there is something she wants to tell you. Please stay calm when talking to her about it and ask her what she wants to do. Let her know all of her options. Keeping it, closed adoption, open adoption or abortion. Once you have talked to her about it make her an appointment. I got pregnant when i was 15, i miscarried. Then i got pregnant again at 16 and now im 17 with a 7 month old son. She is most likly very scared right now, I know i was. I didnt understand how it happend either time seeing as the first time i was on BC and used condoms. Second time we always used condoms. So just stay calm with her but you dont need to act all happy happy joy joy its okay that she knows you are disappointed but its going to be very hard on her if it ends up in a screaming argument.
2007-10-05 11:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by NAB 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Be supportive and loving. Mistakes happen. She will need your love and support now more than ever. Are you positive it's hers? Just bite the bullet and confront her. Not sure where you found it, but even if you were in her room (assuming she lives with you) it is your house and you had every right to be there.
2007-10-05 11:34:10 · answer #9 · answered by Cimba00 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
umm ok, i wouldnt say anything to her, especially if you had been through her room or her bag becasue then she will be super angry, let her come to you and tell you, untill then i would just go about your day as per usual, if and when she does come to you then be supportive, you can be mad , but reassure her that she was mature enough to come to you for help... oh and make sure its hers just in case.
good luck
xx
2007-10-05 13:52:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
support her, dont yell at her, dont make her feel bad. i told my mom and she was in disbelief at first, but after about an hour she supported me fully. of course ive noticed that your daughter is 15 .. i am 19. but with your help and support you guys can make the right decisions.
its not as bad as it seems if you help her :D
2007-10-05 11:39:00 · answer #11 · answered by sHOTTiExxHOTTiE 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋