My son, who is a whiz at computers, came across a song on the internet that apparently he and his highschool GF had as "their song". Apparently its a pretty sappy love song.
He decided to send it to this person, they are still in touch but not romantically anymore, and wrote "still love ya babe" as a message.
He then "accidentally" sent it to his soon to be exe wife. She got it and as she told me "her heart stopped, she started to cry and she's thinking oh my God you still love me !" Because she doesnt want the divorce, which is another long story -
She phones him crying "Oh my God I love you too, you remembered my birthday! You still love me !" She immediately thinks this is a step towards reconciliation.
Of couse, who wouldnt? The poor girl, she phoned me crying her eyes out.
He told me he has never felt worse in his life when he realized what he had done.
Could it be his sub conscience & he's not listening? Just an cruel accident? Fate stepping in?
2007-10-05 09:57:58 · 21 answers · asked by isotope2007 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
My soon to be exe DIL has no support from her family at all.
She was my DIL for six years, we did a lot of things together, so I feel it would be wrong to just drop her like a hot potato. My son agrees,
This divorce was 50/50 when it comes to "who's to blame". There is no real bad guy, not in my opinion, but I am a Libra and I see both sides of every issue.
2007-10-05 10:14:33 · update #1
Isn't that what they call a" Freudian slip" ? I don't understand why people give up when things go bad. There are times that If I had a heat seeking missile, I would have cheerfully aimed it at my husband. Life is full of experiences, good and bad . I just had my 41st and at the time didn't see it as a celebration but time heals raw wounds and think maybe it should be a lot harder to get married and a lot easier to part if needed. It's hard being in the middle but I know you have the strength to move on. It must feel bittersweet with your daughters wedding coming up at the same time. Hang in there ,we are thinking good thoughts for you and your family.
2007-10-06 07:40:28 · answer #1 · answered by Donna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa this is some deep stuff! Just be there for your ex DIL. She need all the friends and love she can get. But to try and tip the scales either way could be to prolong heartache. I pray they could reunite but it may not be what is best for them. I went in circles forgiving and reconciling with the wrong man for 22 years. The last eleven the only good thing to come from it was a child I had late in life and raised without his support. I just kept the whole family on an emotional roller coaster a lot longer than I should have...
2007-10-06 07:15:52 · answer #2 · answered by Southern Comfort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reconcile. No accident. The rate for re-married couples after a divorce to make it is some where around 25%. Every poll varies.
These two already know one anothers habits, both good and bad, which they can learn to work around, and/or learn to deal with.
Starting over is much harder than learning to forgive when there has been no abuse involved.
It sounds as if you guys already have a wonderful family unit.
Working in out would be a win/win situation it seems.
I believe I see a need on both sides being fulfilled.
My wife and I have reflected back over he years how many things we would have missed out on had we divorced the first time a serious problem took place. 20 years and still going and learning as life throws its curve balls.
Best wishes
2007-10-06 02:44:09 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think they BOTH still need more distance from each other. The pain of each other's betrayal is still too immediate. What they actually SHOULD HAVE done was to seek marriage counselling individually and together before they threw in the towel on the marriage.
Your son sounds like he goes off half-****** a lot...not a lot of thinking going on before he makes an irreparable decision.
Of course, your DIL is the same, because look at what she did to get where she is!
I think that the song thing was nothing more than a very unfortunate accident. And that if he doesn't want this to happen again, he needs to remove his ex-wife from his mailing list.
SHE needs to be encouraged to go for counselling. She really needs help. Maybe you can encourage her in this. I would hate to see her doing something incredibly stupid from the depression caused by the divorce.
2007-10-05 13:08:20 · answer #4 · answered by Susie Q 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Many good answers above, Isotope...just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and hope that it will all work out for the best. What ever happens, it's up to them and they'll figure it out. Sounds like you and your daughter-in-law had a close relationship and there's no reason it can't stay that way. And don't let yourself get "caught" in the middle....you can be there for both of them, just individually. Take good care and try not to fret, ok? Gracie
2007-10-06 17:49:28 · answer #5 · answered by night-owl gracie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isotope, how loving of you to reach out to her and let her cry on your shoulder....since you were/are her mother-in-law. This says much about your precious heart.
I cannot say if this was a case of fate, realization which is deep down or, simply just a tragic accident! Sorry.
I do understand your soon to be ex-daughter-in-law, concerning the signals she is taking to mean more! She is desperately trying to hang onto that love! I hurt for her!
Most, know that I am a Christian and I hope you do not mind if I pray for her and for this situation. I will be praying for you as well as you are a sitting duck....in the middle! Wish you were my mother-in-law!
2007-10-05 13:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am a Libra too. OMG, what a dilemma, especially when you don't want to hurt any ones feelings.. The explanation would hurt her even more. I will have to think about this one and write later if I can think of something.
I still love my ex daughter-in-law. I am thrilled that she found happiness and has two beautiful children. I was crushed when they broke up because I never anticipated that they would be apart. But that in itself is a long, long story
2007-10-05 10:55:15 · answer #7 · answered by slk29406 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh WOW! I do see God's hand in this. He HATES divorce. They will still have to make the choice but He is putting things in position. If you believe just pray pray pray. I got chills when I read this. See if they will go for some counseling....or just put off the divorce a little. Sometimes just having some time to think without pressure helps you see clearer. God promises to give wisdom if you ask for it. (James 1:5) I will hold them up in prayer before God....that they will make a choice that will honor Him. Thank you for sharing with us.
† On-call Prayer Warrior †
2007-10-06 00:53:07 · answer #8 · answered by bethy4jesus 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The trouble with computers is we often hit the wrong buttons and then it's to late. It happens to me all the time, trying to answer these questions. Unfortunately he can't 'edit' this boo-boo. Maybe he was thinking of his ex and all they're losing by divorcing. The only thing I think you can tell either one of them is they need to be honest, better hurt feelings now than later. They need to sit down and talk and see if the marriage is really over. Hope things work out for everyone.
2007-10-05 10:29:58 · answer #9 · answered by luvspbr2 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Woman
2016-05-17 05:45:09 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋