My Ex-Husband & I divorced almost 4 yrs ago. The marriage only lasted 5 mths after 3 yrs of dating. The very night we got married. He changed into a completely different person. He dranked alot, lied constantley, extremely controling, & many of affairs, etc. I decided to leave him after 2 wks in ICU while 6 mths pregnant & he was no where to be seen. Now we have a good relationship because of our daughter. We have both moved on & are happy. Now he just volunteers information about how he's quit drinking & all this. Why is he telling me this? Why is he making the changes now instead of 4 yrs ago? Maybe then our marriage could have worked!
2007-10-05 09:54:31 · 15 answers · asked by Hugs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe his way of apologizing and wants you to know the father of your child is a better person.
2007-10-05 09:58:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Actually he did not change into a different person, you just never saw the way he really was because people always put on their best face when dating. If he has stopped drinking, perhaps he has changed, but that doesn't mean he can't revert at any time. Sometimes making a drastic change requires you to grow up a lot before you can, perhaps that is why now. Sounds like he may be expressing an interest in getting back together with you. If you are happy now, just tell him how happy you are he is getting his life together and wish him luck.
2007-10-05 17:00:28 · answer #2 · answered by Wiz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He may be wanting you to know so you know he is taking care of your child. Or he could be hoping you will come back. It may had to take a divorce for him to realize what he lost. If you are hoping for the two of you to love again, you should tell him how happy you are and let him know if it wasen't for the drinking you would had stayed becuase you loved him, but you didn't love him when he was drinking. If that is something you are hoping for think before you leap though, becuase you don't want to go through the cheating and drinking, etc. again. Remember why you left, people can change so that decision you will need to make if that is what you are seeking.
2007-10-05 17:19:56 · answer #3 · answered by bigjuggies79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having children changes people. Maybe he realized that what he was doing was wrong and wanted to be a role model for your child. I think something just clicked in him and he realized that life was too short and that it was time fr him to grow up. He probably felt like he wasn't ready to be married and that is why he acted the way he did. Maybe it was best that the 2 of you moved on now you can enjoy your lives separately and live happier healthier lives with your daughter.
2007-10-05 17:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by faithfully2u4eva1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By asking this question, you have just proved to yourself that you have NOT moved on...at least emotionally. Which is normal. You just feel more for him than you thought you did. Sometimes it takes a dramatic change to out someone on the right track. Just be happy for him....NOW. What happened in the past can never be changed, but who knows what the future holds......By the way....by sharing his personal changes with you, lets you know that his heart still ticks a little for you too.....
2007-10-05 17:09:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Naybe because he has grown up and sees what it is to lose someone you love. My ex husband was border line abuseive. We divorced when our son was 6 weeks old and he like yours was no where to be found when I needed him most.
He is now remarried and has changed 100% into someone that I admire and could have loved forever and at first I was bitter. He told me that he changed becase he didn't like that person
2007-10-05 17:15:05 · answer #6 · answered by Brandi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIFE SOMETIMES FOR LIFE'S LESSONS AND SEASON! YOUR HUSBAND WAS MORE LESS A WINTER LOVE, GOD OFTEN PLACES US IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS TO TEACH US THINGS! IN THIS CASE YOU WERE TO WAIT ON HIM AND YOU DIDN'T SO HE NEEDED YOU TO GO THROUGH SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU A STRONGER AND A BETTER PERSON! YOU WERE TO LEARN FROM LIFE'S LESSONS! JUST AS YOUR HUSBAND DID! NEVER FAULT HIM FOR GETTING HIS LIFE TOGETHER BE GRATEFUL THAT HE BLESSED YOU BOTH WITH A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER! ALL OF THAT WAS TO TEACH HIM TO BE A BETTER PERSON, AND DO NOT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY! THE GOOD LORD DID IT IN A WAY THAT IT WASN'T FOR YOU BUT HE DID IT FOR HIM, AND AS FOR YOU HE BLESSED YOU WITH ALOT! I AM SURE A LOT OF HOW YOUR HUSBAND WAS, BEFORE MARRYING HIM WAS LIKE THAT PRIOR BUT YOU WERE SIMPLY IN DENIAL! MEANING MARRIAGE DIDN'T MAKE HIM DRINK ALOT, LIE CONSTANTLY OR ETC. HE HAD ALL THAT GOING ON PRIOR BUT YOU WERE BLINDED BY YOUR LOVE FOR HIM THAT MADE HIM PERFECT! BUT I HOPE THIS TIME AROUND YOU WAIT ON CHRIST JESUS, AND EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-05 17:12:05 · answer #7 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's apparently feeling the guilt. Let's hope he really is changing. 4 Years have gone by, and you have moved on, so what's the problem? At least he'll be a better father for his changes.
2007-10-05 17:03:05 · answer #8 · answered by redmane_at_stargazer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This just sounds bad. You know that he was all sweetness and light before marriage and then pulled a jeckel and hyde thing on you once he had you. What makes you think he's not pulling the same garbage right now? Tell him that if it's true then you're happy that he's finally growing up but that you firmly believe in the old adge 'fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.'
You've moved on, don't throw away what you have on a chance that he might pull another jeckel and hyde on you.
2007-10-05 17:00:41 · answer #9 · answered by Saphira 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He obviously was immature 4 years ago, your marriage was just the wrong timing
2007-10-05 17:05:39 · answer #10 · answered by Invisible 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really? You are actually considering what he has to say? He's a day late and a dollar short with all the "changes."
2007-10-05 17:13:57 · answer #11 · answered by ecutepup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋