My husband has lots of female friends but that is not what makes me mad. What makes me mad is when he sits there and yaps about them non stop and won't shut up without me nearly screaming at him to stop. I have already told him that I don't like it but he still does it. The most recent incident happened last night when he called from Pennsylvania telling me what he did with his old friends from high school. There was some woman at the bar that he absolutely adored for the sounds of it and yapped on about how pretty she was how nice her perfume was and this that and the other. Then he actually asked me to purchase the same perfume.
How do I get him to stop this without ruining our marriage or relationship?
2007-10-05 09:31:41 · 26 answers · asked by jcandelario31419 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is insecure. Subconsciously he does this because he needs you to know that he is liked by the opposite sex.
I have a similar situation. My wife is not the jealous type at all and she likes to hear some of my stories of my sortied past. But in respect I always ask her if she wants to hear it before I tell her the story.
2007-10-05 09:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are some serious insecurity issues - and not on your part - he seems to thrive from teh attention he's getting from these women and the clear disregard to your feelings on the subject is what would bother me the most.
If it were me, and my husband called to tell me about his female friends after telling him I was bothered by it, I'd hang up the phone... or if at home, walk away. Eventually he'll ask why or stop all together but it sets up a scenerio for you to talk.
I'd also ask him... in a quiet moment... when it's just the two of you something blatent like "Honey - why is it you don't care about my feelings?" and explain how this annoys you and he doesn't seem to care. It might make him more cognizant about it... Good luck!
2007-10-05 16:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, how long have you two been married? It sounds like he is very insensitive to your feelings and needs to be put into his place. He sounds young and needs to grow up. If your relationship is strong, then talking to him should not be an issue. If your relationship is having problems then to be honest he is not worth having around. Sounds like he loves to put you down by throwing things in your face. If he has a problem with you then he should be talking to you about it instead of pointing out all the things he likes about other women! Talk to him and find out why he feels that he needs to tell you all these details about other women? Is it because this way he will not feel guilty for chatting them up while away from you?
2007-10-05 17:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by suzie4061 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...don't mean to judge but your hubby seems inconsiderate of your feelings. I only say that because you mentioned that you've told him that you don't like it, but he still does it.
My best advice to you is to tell him that you love him unconditionally and you don't compare him to people you've dated in the past or male friends you hang around now. Tell him that you love him the way he is and sometimes he makes you feel as though he doesn't feel the same way about you. Just flat out ask him, how he feel about you and your marriage/relationship? Listen to what he says and go from there. Whatever you do, don't start off the conversation with, "I'm sick and tired of you yapping about other women"...with men you've gotta approach them gently. At least that's how it is with my hubby. Good luck!
2007-10-05 16:46:04 · answer #4 · answered by LiveLife 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I have already told him that I don't like it but he still does it." ...There's not alot you can do to make him stop, you can only decide how much you will take. He obviously has no respect for you or the marriage, and he is apparently at least somewhat interested in other females. What kind of marriage is that? Been there, done that, got out. Good luck to you.
2007-10-05 16:53:30 · answer #5 · answered by TwyztedChyck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't ruining your marriage, he is. It is very inconsiderate and rude of him to talk like this especially after you have made it clear how you feel about it.
It sounds like to me, for whatever reason, he needs to make you feel jealous or insecure or make you realize how desirable he is to other women etc.., It sounds like he is either a jerk or insecure or both.
You may try just ignoring him and not letting him get the response he is trying to trigger. He may stop then. The more immature route would be to start talking about your male friends in the same way to let him see how it feels, but that will probably end in a fight.
You could try talking to him and asking him why he continues this when he knows it upsets you and why he needs to make you feel jealous and insecure to feel better about himself, but it sounds like you've already tried that.
2007-10-05 16:48:24 · answer #6 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the question is why is your husband so intent on making you jealous?
Is he trying to get a rise out of you? Is there a power struggle in your relationship? Does he feel neglected?
You answer this question and you'll see why he tells you these things. Otherwise he's just acting like an as*clown.
2007-10-05 17:15:53 · answer #7 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perfume, outfit? He must be gay!
Just joking. He is probably either a very friendly person or very insecure and trying to make you jealous. Do you ever get jealous? Maybe he feels hurt that you don't. Maybe he is not sure whether you still love him. Was he always like this? Talk to him honestly.
2007-10-05 16:48:48 · answer #8 · answered by terliuke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the very least he is disrespecting you.
Sounds like he enjoys taunting you with his "other female attention" whether its physical or sexual or not. It's a sick mind that does this to the person you're supposed to love. You've obviously made it clear to him on numerous occasions that his behavior is hurtful to you . . . for him to continue to do it is the utmost sign of disrespect towards you. You are right to be offended, and righteously indignant about it.
His behavior has got to change, or you may as well shut off your affections and go camp elsewhere.
2007-10-05 16:48:27 · answer #9 · answered by purplex62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold it!!!! He asked you to buy the same perfume as her???
OMG, he has a problem, your marriage is in jeaopardy!!!
Time for you both to go to counseling, you are getting frusturated, and it is just waiting to burst, and when you do, major argument!!!
Go to counseling, and if he objects, then leave him and file for a seperation, you need to find a man who deserves you and only you, he needs time to realize how much good he has it with you when you are gone!!!!
I tried counseling with my husband years ago, when we had problems, and he hated it, he quit going and our marriage got worse.
I left, and he really realized how much empty his life was without me and his daughter, I filed for a legal seperation, and then we got to talking when he came to my house to see our daughter, and we eventually talked things out and reconciled our marriage and renewed our vows, and now have been married for 15 years.
Honey, if it takes a seperation to make it work then that is what it will take, if he fights his way to counseling.
2007-10-05 16:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋