Do you believe in Dog Logic?

Question

Dog Logic

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail
instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your
face.
-Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he
loves himself.
-Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney
Dogs love their friends & bite their enemies, quite unlike
people, who are incapable of pure love & always have to mix love & hate.
-Anonymous

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a
dog.
-Franklin P. Jones

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise .
-Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a
can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should
relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will
not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in
your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret

Answer 1

"Good dogs don't love bad people"


Catfish, the black Lab, has up and died
By Lewis Grizzard
November 28, 1993
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

��� My dog Catfish, the black Lab, died Thanksgiving night.

The vet said his heart gave out.

Down in the country, they would have said, "Lewis's dog up and died." He would have been 12 had he lived until January.

Catfish had a good life. He slept indoors. Mostly he ate what I ate. We shared our last meal Tuesday evening in our living room in front of the television.

We had a Wendy's double cheeseburger and some chili.

Catfish was a gift from my friends Barbara and Vince Dooley. Vince, of course, is the athletic director at the University of Georgia. Barbara is a noted speaker and author.

I named him driving back to Atlanta from Athens where I had picked him up at the Dooleys' home. I don't know why I named him what I named him. He was all curled up in a blanket on my back seat. And I looked at him and it just came out. I called him: "Catfish."

I swear he raised up from the blanket and acknowledged. Then he severely fouled the blanket and my back seat.

A powerful set of jaws

He was a most destructive animal the first three years of his life.

He chewed things. He chewed books. He chewed shoes.

"I said to Catfish, 'Heel,' " I used to offer from behind the dais, "and he went to my closet and chewed up my best pair of Guccis."

Catfish chewed television remote control devices. Batteries and all.

He chewed my glasses. Five pairs of them.

One day, when he was still a puppy, he got out of the house without my knowledge. The doorbell rang. It was a young man who said, "I hit your dog with my car, but I think he's OK."

He was. He had a small cut on his head and he was frightened, but he was otherwise unhurt.

"I came around the corner," the young man explained, "and he was in the road chewing on something. I hit my brakes the second I saw him."

"Could you tell what he was chewing on?" I asked.

"I know this sounds crazy," the young man answered, "but I think it was a beer bottle."

Catfish stopped chewing while I still had a house. Barely.

Known far and wide

He was a celebrity, Catfish. I spoke recently in Michigan.

Afterwards a lady came up to me and said, "I was real disappointed with your speech. You didn't mention Catfish."

Catfish used to get his own mail. Just the other day the manufacturer of a new brand of dog food called "Country Gold," with none other than George Jones's picture on the package, sent Catfish a sample of its new product. For the record, he still preferred cheeseburgers and chili.

Catfish was once grand marshal of the Scottsboro, Ala., annual Catfish Festival. He was on television and got to ride in the front seat of a police car with its siren on.

He was a patient, good-natured dog, too. Jordan, who is 5, has been pulling his ears since she was 2. She even tried to ride him at times. He abided with nary a growl.

Oh, that face and those eyes. What he could do to me with that face and those eyes. He would perch himself next to me on the sofa in the living room and look at me.

And love and loyalty would pour out with that look, and as long as I had that, there was very little the human race could do to harm my self-esteem.

Good dogs don't love bad people.

He was smart. He was fun. And he loved to ride in cars. There were times he was all that I had.

And now he has up and died. My own heart, or what is left of it, is breaking.

Answer 2

The issue is that dogs are poor generalizers - it's not that the dog is "sneaky, greedy" etc, but that they have no intrinsic sense of morality or "rightness" and so only think something is "bad" if it has bad consequences. If it has never had bad consequences except with a human in the room, then how on earth are they to know that the rules still apply with the human out of the room? You need to train in such a way that corrections and rewards occur when the dog does not think you are present - i.e. hiding around the corner. Read here https://tr.im/OlhCJ

I personally owned a Labrador Retriever (read: chow hound) that could be left 6" from a hot dog in a sit-stay for half an hour and not touch it - the word was "mine" and it meant that you don't touch that, even if I am not in the room, even if whatever, you DO NOT touch that. You could leave a plate of food on the floor for hours and not only would she not touch it, she would also keep the other animals (dogs and cats) from touching it.

In all probability, these dogs studied were just not properly trained/proofed before the experiment. With "proofing" to set them up and catch them in the act to give

Answer 3

the only thing missing here is the final photo of the dog hiking on a champaign poster of Hillary. Yes dogs are smart.
EDIT: I received this exact same tale last night in an E mail and the photo with it was the dog hiking on the Hillary Poster. Sorry if someone is offended.

Answer 4

That is priceless. Here's one from my lab calender.
"The dog is the only animal that is capable of disinterested affection. He is the only creature that regards the human being in his compassion, and follows him as his friend; the only one that seems to possess a natural desire to be useful to him, or from a spontaneous impulse attaches himself to man.

We take the bridle from the mouth of the horse, and turn him free into the pasture, and he testifies his joy in his partially recovered liberty; We exact from the dog the service that is required of him, and still he follows us. He solicits to be continued as our companion and our friend. He shares in our abundance, and he is content with the scantiest and most humble fare: He loves us while living, and has been known to pine away on the grave of his master.
William Youatt, from
The Dog 1845

Answer 5

yraaaaaaaaaaa,baby,you hit on the head that time,we got 4 dogs 2in 2 out. the 2 out arn't guard dogs ,but they think they are.the 2 in bark every time someone comes in the driveway,not a 1 worth a penny,but they got a home til they die

Answer 6

i have Rocky, a black lab and his doggie logic is: i'll bowl her over take off and then get a truck load of biscuits and a ride in the car and make a fool out of my mommy! i love my dog!

Answer 7

So true! I have a wonderful dog who smiles at me whenever I come home. No matter how bad the day was, she always lifts my heart.

Answer 8

I KNEW there were other reasons I liked Robert Heinlein!...

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I'm a woman and I have a cat! lol

Answer 9

Dogs sure do have good logic, thanks for sharing with us. They are quite special little friends. So much of it sounds like my, Rusty, esp about the dog biscuits in your pocket. lol

Answer 10

My sweetie is priceless, talks to me, she can count & does so many funny things shes a real riot.