My boyfriend of a year (we're both 22yrs old) is gay. I'm shocked, but I have to admit that I've questioned him for awhile now. He would always make fun of guys and talk about gays in such a derogatory way...and it always made me wonder. It hurts so much to know that he doesn't love me and would rather have a guy it seems. I don't get it. I don't know what I did wrong, even though I know it wasn't me, I still feel somehow like it was my fault. I am still in shock. In fact, he STILL will NOT admit to being gay, he has just told about his oral experiences with men. To me, that means gay, or that he's very confused. I've never had a problem getting guys or having them "want" me sexually, but with him, he was always came off as not that sexual with me, and would actually make me feel bad for wanting to have sex with him. He said I was sex crazy! I'm not, it's just that he's been gay this entire time, is what i make of it! Help! What do I do? Should I just forget about this guy entirely?
2007-10-05 08:49:27 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I can't accept the fact that he's gay. I don't want to believe it! Is he really gay if he's gotten oral from a guy? He's had sex with me many-o-times. Is he automatically gay? Or just experimenting? I don't get it....
2007-10-05 08:58:42 · update #1
Um...HELLO... i just said...we've had sex soooo many times, but once we got into a relationship...we had sex much less. Infact, I used to question whether or not he was using me for sex!
2007-10-05 09:00:30 · update #2
he never has problems being aroused around me. he is physically turned on by me. he just rather give oral than have sex usually..
2007-10-05 09:04:46 · update #3
You could be a friend and support him and maybe he's bisexual and more attracted to men. Or if it's too much for you to emotionally process, you should probably move on.
2007-10-05 08:52:43 · answer #1 · answered by ☮ wickey wow wow ♀♀ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You'd be hard pressed to find any guy straight or gay who hasn't had a penis in their mouth at one time or another during their lifetime. Young boys often experiment with each other. Most go on to lead a totally straight lifestyle others don't. Just because he's had oral experiences with men does not mean he's gay. There's a whole lot more to being gay than just that.
.
2007-10-05 18:55:04 · answer #2 · answered by ericbryce2 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that you're there for him if he ever wants to talk about it. It isn't your fault. Most gay/lesbian people are born that way (a chemical thing). So, don't worry about it. If you still love him, you can be his friend and help him through it. He is probably scared out of his mind. That's probably why he is trying to deny it. So, help him out and let him know you'll be there every step of the way. You can start dating and will find a new man, and hey, maybe your current "gay" man will have an instinct on whether your new men are worth keeping or not! Good luck.
2007-10-05 15:55:39 · answer #3 · answered by Nena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't sound like he's gay, he sounds like he's Bisexual.
That means he likes BOTH.
Why don't people seem to understand the difference here?
How can you date someone for any amount of time and NOT know what they're sexual orientation is?
Is it really that hard to tell that he doesn't get arroused? Is the fact that he isn't having sex with you NOT a clue?
Come on, what's with all these people?
My advise is simple.
Dump him for lieing and possibly cheating on you.
Then GROW UP!
2007-10-05 15:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by DEATH 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Turn your lovely gay boyfriend into a friend and find another boyfriend who will want you sexually. It will ruin your life if you attempt to set up with someone who is luke warm in bed even if he turns out to be bi. And you would always have to be watching out for guys he is cheating on you with. Also, more importantly, go and have an AIDS test. Sorry for you. x
2007-10-05 16:01:08 · answer #5 · answered by dizzzybubble 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is still in denial or not ready to come out. And that does not mean he does not care about you. I have good friends who are gay and we say we love each other . Hard on you but you can turn him into a good friend if you are willing to do so.
2007-10-05 15:54:20 · answer #6 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set a trap to find out if he really is gay.
This is what you got to do:
Put a playboy magazine and a playgirl magazine on a table and hide. If he is really gay then he will look over his shoulder to make sure nobody is looking and he will pick the playgirl magazine instead. Then you walk in and slap him with a dildo for wasting your time.
2007-10-05 15:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by need help 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Couldn't you tell something wasn't right with him? Why wait so long? Get out of it, he will probably come up with other suggestions. I don't know how you could have not know by listening to him and how he acted and looked most of the time.
2007-10-05 18:50:37 · answer #8 · answered by lana s 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a closet case. If I were you, I'd get out of the relationship, but not necessarily the friendship, if you value it. But he's going to continue to go back to men, like it or not. And it was NOT your fault.
2007-10-05 16:01:58 · answer #9 · answered by Clint 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its not your fault and its not his fault and dont let anyone let him down maybe he didnt know who he was but it sounds like he might be homophobic too try too hide from bein gay or be him anyways have a great life i hope my answer helped
2007-10-05 16:47:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋