I have been divorced for nearly 16 years. I still have feeling for my ex-husband. I also have feeling for a man that has been my friend for nearly a year. Now he is my boyfriend. I'm not real sure what to do with these feelings or what they mean. My ex would love to have me back in his life. (So he says) How in the world can a girl make a choice without hurting feelings?
2007-10-05 08:38:37 · 50 answers · asked by Miss Marilyn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As a matter of fact, Yes, it is possible to love 2, 3 or more men at once.
You and your ex husband have history, and you will always love him for that, for the good times and the bad times, for the times that he supported you, for what it was and what could've been.
This new person that you love, is something new, the whole "pink & blue" part of the relationship, and it is possible that he might be the one.
And anyone else that might cross your path that will somehow earn your love.
It is very possible to love more than one person at a time. There's one thing to remember in all this though... There's a BIG difference between loving someone, and being "in-love" it would be wise not to confuse the two.
Find your self, and how you trully feel before you continue with any relationship, to avoid anyone getting hurt in the process.
Good luck!
~ Nessa ~
2007-10-05 08:54:22 · answer #1 · answered by ♥(`*•.(`*•.¸ ή姧α¸.•*´) .•*´)♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are divorced you are free to choose. The point is not to betray. Whatever you decide to do take that road and don't look back.
If you are divorced someone has already been hurt (16 years - either you or your hunband).
In many ways you know your husband although 16 years are enough to change someone (I guess) and this "new " 1 year friend is someone you don't know that much.
Many things should be taken into consideration for a good decision. The best thing is to find out what you really feel. Someone will be hurt at this point. I have no doubts about it.
If you do not make the right choice more people can be hurt and not only one...
2007-10-05 08:50:09 · answer #2 · answered by Desir D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Miss Marlyn I do not believe that you are alone with this problem. It is nice that you still have feelings for your ex and you two continue to get along rather than bad mouthing each other and resenting one and other. But fact of live is that he must be an ex for a reason. Why go back and try and repeat history. Move on with your life and close that chapter. You can continue to be friends and even have feelings for your ex but do what is right for you. Either way one of these men is going to end up without you but I bet that both would wish you nothing but happiness and best of luck with your selection. Good luck and think seriously about what happened in the past to bring your marriage to an end. Then you will have a clearer picture of where you feel life is leading you at present. Oh and trust your gut instincts too, they are usually pretty good guides when we listen to them and do not try to amend them to fit our goals.
2007-10-05 08:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the same time? It's possible, but really dramatic and not very mature. You're next inquiry is about both of them wanting to have a baby with you, another not very mature question that appear to be looking for someone to validate for you. Here's a clue for you. You're the one that will carry the child, your body will change, your future will change because it's not a kitten, its a child. They aren't disposable. I sincerely hope you don't bring a baby into the world, if you are asking these types of question in this forum you are not parent material. Sorry to be so blunt but you need a reality check if what you're asking is sincere. The other thing is do both these men know about each other? I suspect not, and that is a horrible disservice to play them like that.
2016-05-17 05:19:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all think about why you and your ex-husband got divorced in the first place. Is that something you would want to go through again? This new guy....make sure your friendship is strong enough and stable enough to survive even if your intimate relationship does not. I think you owe it to yourself to do what makes you happy and content. You will probably always have feelings for your ex, that's perfectly normal most of the time, or you might fall in love with someone and those feelings for your ex will seem juvenile. Good luck and Be Happy
2007-10-05 08:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there is a reason why you and your ex are not together anymore and obviously you find something especial about this new person. Before taking the decision to back to your ex analyze all the reason why you guys decided to split...Listen to your heart! Who do you miss more? Who do you feel butterflies with? You know what I mean? I been in that situation before...and like I said I left my husband for a very good reason and I will not go back ever to the same! Good luck girl! Choose very wisely...Give yourself an opportunity to start all over again with someone new!!!
2007-10-05 08:46:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could love the both of them, but you can not be IN LOVE with 2 men. My advice is to remember your ex is and ex for a reason, if he's so wonderful then why are you not still together? You just need to let go of the past and look towards the future.
2007-10-05 08:53:20 · answer #7 · answered by h&t_oct282007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is definately possible to love 2 men! It happens all the time! Well, my opinion, I would tell your ex about how you feel to where he can understand but yet he cant make fun of you for feeling that way. Then, I would date the new friend, because you have already tried a relationship with your ex and it failed once. But, maybe your friend is "the one" and you just don't know it. But, in any case, your feelings come first. You need to feel comfortable and loved in the relationship you are in. So, good luck!
2007-10-05 08:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by Nena 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
All depends on why your ex husband is your ex.
There must be a good reason or you two would not be divorced.
Many people have a hard time of letting go.
You should look at where you can see yourself with in the long run. You might be better off without either of them.
Goodluck.
2007-10-05 08:43:30 · answer #9 · answered by Asian Mami 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ohhh, very very possible.
But if you're working on deciding who you really want... I'd say wait it out in time... See how things go in your life, our emotions often sway like waves in the ocean, but we are never certain which way we pull at times. Give yourself some room, and let your brain (and heart) relax. Relationships often can be stressful, especially in the situation you're in.
Don't make a decision while you're uncertain. Wait for certainties to come to you. In the meantime, have a best friend by your side to let out everything that may be bothering you or how you're feeling, find a good vent to let out your stresses.
And lastly, check up and see how your ex feels and how your boyfriend feels about you, let them know it's save to be completely honest about how they feel. Which may help you decide which one is best for you.
2007-10-05 08:47:27 · answer #10 · answered by Bob Saget 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋