this is about a married 38 year old woman.her husband is 45 years old,he drinks a lot and also does drugs.the woman has told me that his friends come over to the house and drink,do drugs,and leave their trash all over the place.these friends of his are rude to this woman and accuse her of not cleaning the house.i know she does clean the house but the house is trashed very quickly.this man yells at his wife over every stupid thing using profanity,he does this in front of their 3 year old daughter.the man,his family,and his friends ridicule the woman and makes the woman feel bad about herself and she is often depressed and she complains about stomach pains and constipation.this woman also has a son who ridicules the woman and is violent toward her for no apparent reason.the womans mother who lives nearby also ridicules her.the woman has told me that she cannot do anything right and people treat her like crap.
2007-10-05 08:38:21 · 12 answers · asked by matthew h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like this woman has been taught her whole life that she's worthless. That's why she puts up with these behaviors. She sought out an abuser because it was familiar. Now she's raising her son to be an abuser too. She needs to begin therapy to find out why she thinks so little of herself that she stays in these relationships. It sounds like it's time for a clean slate. Go. Don't look back and start over with some self respect.
2007-10-05 08:49:10 · answer #1 · answered by LB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not have to put up with this kind of abuse. The biggest problem I see here is the drugs and kids. With todays drug laws,if he were to get picked up by the authorities and caught with any drugs or equipment,the state has the right to cnfiscate the house and any property involved or owned by him and worse,the kids will be taken away by the state. If she wants some revenge,have her turn him over to the authorities,then sue him for divorce and anything shes legally entitled to and leave with the kids. Thatll give him something to think about for a very long time. Now if hes afraid to leave him,contact a local womans help group and theyll help get her out and started. Good luck
2007-10-05 15:48:42 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her self-esteem is suffering, if she ever had any. Why would anyone stay under these circumstances? She's is either telling you the truth or she is playing the victim and likes the attention she is getting from you. Everything you are conveying to us is heresay, you didn't say you have witnessed any of it. You need to think about this woman and her stories and try to find out if they are true before you become involved with a very sick woman. She is sick to stay and put up with this and she is sick if she's manufacturing these stories for attention.
2007-10-05 15:46:02 · answer #3 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen, since she has let herself into such a bad marriage situation she has lost her self esteem and apparently others are just picking up on that and treat her bad.
she needs some help to feel stronger and clean UP THE MESS which is not the house but her life. obviously she needs to do something drastic right about now and she feels powerless about it.
she better starts getting angry at everyone, not doing any cleaning and behaving like a total as shole to everybody that hurts her.
oh and eventually she needs a divorce. what's there to lose but her chains?
2007-10-05 15:48:44 · answer #4 · answered by sarah kay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope does what she needs to do to become independent in order to leave this abusive situation. The children are seeing this behavior and thinks it is okay to treat people this way. I have been in an abusive relationship before and Iknow it can be difficult to believe that you can stand on your own two feet.
2007-10-05 15:48:22 · answer #5 · answered by love2bepassionate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to be the adult here and think of the child's needs first. Simply put, you need to get out of there. You are damaging your child every moments he/she is exposed to this man.
Then you need to find an Al-anon meeting. Go to it. Get a sponsor, and work the steps.
After you heal yourself and deal with your personal demons, your life will improve.
Good luck. Alcoholism is a family disease.
2007-10-05 15:44:39 · answer #6 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to toughen up and get as far away from this situation as she can. Take the kids, get into therapy and move on.
2007-10-05 16:59:11 · answer #7 · answered by LiveLife 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump the husband and move far far away from family members of any sort start a new life and get the hell out of dodge
2007-10-05 15:45:05 · answer #8 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why aren't you putting your daughter's safety and future first. Find a woman's shelter and leave your husband.
2007-10-05 15:46:20 · answer #9 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably so mentally abused she doesn't know what to do.She needs help and you need to help her anyway you can so she can see she is being mentally abused.
2007-10-05 15:53:03 · answer #10 · answered by lollypop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋