My ex lives an hour and a half away. He insists that I do "half of the driving" if he is going to see my son. I really don't think that this is fair. Round trip the drive is three hours!! What should I do?
2007-10-05 08:18:09 · 17 answers · asked by Amanda M 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He moved away from us. He did move a state away and expected me to meet him half way. But, he moved closer, an hour and some odd minutes away, and now he expects me to drive...like he did me a favor by moving back a bit closer. Yeah, right.
2007-10-06 07:38:37 · update #1
Yep.
If my son goes to his Dads, he picks him up and drops him off.
If my Step-kids come over, we pick them up and drop them off.
Of course we will always compromise if there is a problem, but generally thats what happens!!!
2007-10-05 08:21:50 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I once had this issue and this is what the judge said:
It is a privilege to see your child not a right. You are the one that lives out of state so you will pick your child up and drop her off at the agreed upon time.
Now when I moved out of state the same judge said:
You chose to move away making it harder for him to exercise his visitation, he did not ask for you to move so therefore you will bring that child at least half way to meet her father.
And we worked it out. IF he moved away from where you two lived then he needs to pick that child up. IT is his privilege not his right. If you moved away then yes you need to do half the driving. however have you thought about the wear and tare on your child? Maybe consider if your child is young modifying your visitation agreement to be only once a month or something.
2007-10-05 08:30:11 · answer #2 · answered by soulmate_n_nc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Double check the decree in the visitation section - mine states that I have custody PROVIDED that I pick up and return the child. My ex does absolutely NONE of the driving and while annoying, I'd rather drive the hour round-trip to see my kids. You shouldn't HAVE to meet 1/2 way but again, double check the decree.
2007-10-05 09:14:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you set this up in court yet? I got my divorce and my ex did not have a license to drive so they said I got to transport him and I have been doing it most of the time ever since. He only lives l5 miles away and sometimes he gets friends to come pick him up. But when I have to worry about the driver being sober or not a good driver I dont mind taking him out there.
2007-10-05 08:21:59 · answer #4 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my divorce agreement/parenting plan... the parent with current visitation custody is the 'dropping off' parent... that means that we each have to drive the distance... eliminating conversation regarding the topic.
We also have a good ex/co-parenting relationship... if one of us is going to be in the neighborhood we are willing to pick up in a neutral location... meet at a park or something.
Good luck.
Maybe you guys could meet halfway...
Who moved away from the child's location... Did he move out of town - away from his child? then he should be the one to pick up and drop off... But if you moved with the child... then you should be willing to help with the distance... your son deserves to see his dad.
2007-10-05 08:29:40 · answer #5 · answered by SuzyM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are the circumstances? Did you move away from him or did he move away? My ex always drove to get our son and drop him off (2 hours ONE way)....then again, he kepts him for longer periods of time because of the travel. We just worked it out between us as a rule.
2007-10-05 08:23:51 · answer #6 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He chose to live that distance and if he wants to see your son, he needs to drive it or move closer. Just check the divorce papers and you shouldn't have to drive 1/2
2007-10-05 08:22:33 · answer #7 · answered by tx_earthangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming its his son too,maybe you should meet half way. Its twice the drive round trip for him if you don't meet or take turns,,,is that fair? me and my ex usually take turns,,,I pick them up from school or from her house and she comes here and gets them.
2007-10-05 08:22:27 · answer #8 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we move (which will be soon thankfully) we will be an hour away from my ex and if he wants to see her then he will come pick her up and drop her off.
2007-10-05 08:21:59 · answer #9 · answered by Spring 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you and your ex decide on a halfway point between your homes? That way it is equal and nobody has to do all that driving all the time. Good luck!
2007-10-05 08:21:51 · answer #10 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋