Stigmas attached to Baby Names?

Question

We are considering an international Adoption and with that come the much debated question of changing the baby's name. One topic of dicussion I have seen brought up again and again is the topic of bad stigma's being attached to a name.. although it is not fair the truth is that it happens even today. Do you keep a name given by the birth mother even if it comes with society's baggage on how they view it.. Is it a handicap to have a name that people associate with poverty, or ignorance, or destruction like Adolf or even a bad comboination like your last name being Manson and the baby you've adopted having Charles as a given name,. or what if the child is named something like Tequilla or after a cheap liquor.. Is that fair to them . I agree that there is a lot to be said for keeping the name his or her mother gave them for many reason and if we adopt we will not be changing the name only adding to it...but are their circumstances when complete removal is acceptabl

Answer 1

There are circumstances I'm sure,especially in the meaning of a name...give the baby his/her birth name as a middle name if it's appropriate.

Answer 2

If it was a name I completely abhor, I would change it. My aunt was adopted at 4 months and her name was Ophelia. My grandmother couldnt stand the name because it means "Help" or "help me" and the character from Hamlet. She thought the name denoted an eternally helpless child and didnt want that, especially after all she had already been through. Her birth-middle-name had been Beth, so they re-named her Elizabeth, but have always called her Beth or Betsy.
Her birth mother didnt give her up because she was too young, ortoo poor, though, she had been taken from her, and my grandmother felt that the awful things she did (that I havent ever heard specifics on because it upsets my family too much) to Betsy negated her say in the name or anything else in her life and Betsy feels the same way.

I do think, though that it is pretty much a tradition to change a baby's name when he/she is adopted. Kind of a washing away of the past and being accepted in to the new family, the family that they will be a part of the rest of their lives. Ive noticed that it seems that this is especially important to people if their child is of a different ethnicity than the parents, because the child will already have to deal with "Thats not your mom! Where is YOUR mom?" and having an overly ethnic name will probably cause more problems and confusion for the child.

Answer 3

If the child's name is something completely awful to carry around in America, I would think about changing it. Names like Adolf, Tequila, like you mentioned, are just plain awful. Some names that are perfectly acceptable in other countries, like Ha or Bich, would flat out not fly here. Personally, I would either pick a Anglicized name that is similar sounding, like Adam for Adolf, or Tarquinn for Tequila. I would also think about giving the child an English first name I really liked, and use the original first name as a middle name.

To me, it also depends on the child's age. If the child is an infant, I wouldn't think much of changing their name. If the child's older, three to about seven, I would probably go the route of choosing a similar sounding name. That way, they wouldn't be so confused. If you're adopting a child older than about seven or eight, I would talk it over with them, and give them a choice. By that age, they're very attached to their name, but you could attempt to reason with them.

Answer 4

If the name the adopted foreign baby comes with is difficult to pronounce, spell, or has a stigma attached within our Western culture...........It could be a good thing to keep the "given name", but use it as the MIDDLE NAME. An American name will serve to be less of a hindrance to the child in school, and in the workplace..........When the companies are going through a stack of resumes, (I have heard on the news) often the names that are difficult to pronounce or are out of the ordinary can be eliminated from the pool of job applicants.

Let me add from my own experience. If the adoptive parent has strong negative feelings toward the child's given name.....hence negativity toward the child.....dropping that offensive given name and choosing a new one to replace it can be a very positive thing for the family and the child.
My child adapted easily and well, and is now an adult who is elated over the name-change improvement we gave her as a small child.

Answer 5

I believe that it is a personal decision to be left up to the parents, adoptive that is.I would change the childs name if it were something like your examples. I have 3 girls and i thought long and hard about their names and the spelling so they wouldnt be made fun of. I was made fun of in jr. high for my name and the person making fun of my name was creative.So i firmly believe in changing the name to something suitable if it isnt suitable. I know that I would never want to see a child made fun of based on anything!!!Especially their name!! That could also cause problems in the future when the chld comes home after being made fun of and is angry at you, for not changing their name. If the child is old enough i would ask them for help in deciding what their new name should be!!! God bless and good luck!! I also give you a huge 2 thumbs up for international adoption in the first place!!!!!

Answer 6

If the child was named after liquor or a mass murderer, I can see why you'd like to change the name. That's reasonable. If the child is young enough there shouldn't be a problem with it. However if the child's name is too ethnic for you perhaps add an American middle name. That way they can have ties to both cultures.

Answer 7

This is going to be YOUR baby. If some woman named it something rediculous half way around the world, you have a right to change that name. You're the one who has to live with that name every day for the rest of your life. I'd say try to keep some of their name in it (perhaps move the first name to a middle name, or use the child's birth last name as a middle name). Otherwise, I'd give it the first name and your last name. You want this child to be yours, make it your own! :)

Answer 8

in case you are able to, then i think of it is sweet to three way contain your childs unique call into the call you %. We saved our sons Korean names as center names. I do agree even nevertheless, which you shouldn't shop a popular call which will lead on your new child being teased. In our adoption team there is an adoptive father who replaced into additionally observed across the worldwide. He replaced into observed at some years previous so his mothers and dads saved his call, this is confusing to pronounce, and he stated he continually hated "status out" along with his call and needed he has a extra "American" call. He and his spouse did % new names for his or her new child. I even have some acquaintances that moved right here from Korea and China. at a similar time as their youngster's criminal names are Korean or chinese language, the mothers and dads all chosen "American sounding" names for them to circulate via right here. Even the mothers and dads glided via names like "William" and "Natalie" i think of that at a similar time as our young ones will appriciate having their custom, and popular call respected, they're going to additionally prefer a recognition that they won't be embarrassed via. only use your superb judgement.

Answer 9

It depends. If it's a decent name but not one I happen to like, it stays. If it's one of those trendy made-up things or word-names or something with bad connotations, it goes, but I'd change it to something as similar as possible.

This is assuming I'm adopting an infant, obviously. If a child's old enough to know and respond to their name, I wouldn't change it unless it were truly heinous (like Tequila).

Answer 10

My best friends little brother is adopted and they changed his frist name to Zack but... kept his birth name as his middle name. That might be an idea.