...I'm in a relationship with a guy for almost two months...he is very respectful guy...
still it is a formal relationship...and it is becoming a little boring....
he decided that no sex before marriage...ok that is fine with me...but since we decided not to have sex...we don't kiss , don't hug...and every night he brings me home at 12 strictly.
I told him that I don't mind if we are staying late and it doesn't have to be strict...he said no problem cos he don't sleep until 2 a clock...
Ok I was glad we did this converstation...but , things haven't changed. still before 12 we go home we never kiss or hug...and both are grown up....
according to what I've said...what seems to be the problem...I can feel something is wrong...why he doesn't want to share intimacy...? is there any guy who doesn't want sex...?
2007-10-05 04:26:55 · 12 answers · asked by Aquamarine 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Agreed it is an unusual relationship. In all fairness you did agree to the terms. However all relationships must grow and blossom further. This one seems to have bogged down or just stuck in the mud. You know I can understand no sex but no hugging or kissing has me very concerned. Personally I couldn't remain in such a relationship. Plus is their a light at the end of the tunnel? How long do these terms suppose to continue? You guys seem more like buddies than lovers. It's not my place to tell you or to suggest that you move on but I will say that its time to start thinking about not only the future of this relationship but your future. I know the search for someone special is very long and tedious and something is better than nothing however you don't want this relationship to keep you from finding your true happiness. I'm starting to think that this is not the case with this one. Best wishes on the future.
2007-10-05 05:31:49 · answer #1 · answered by Smarty Pants™ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, some guys don't want sex or intimacy. They're usually very strictly religious. I hate to break it to you, but this guy will be incredibly boring, and the relationship isn't going anywhere. No sex before marriage? Not even kissing? No hugging??? I respect his willpower (or lack thereof), but why would you want to be with this guy? If he's like this now, he'll just be one of those "read a book and go to bed"-types in marriage.
You'd better love this guy A LOT, because you're giving up almost everything that makes like fun and exciting, as well as foregoing a huge amount of personal pleasure. If this guy didn't like you, he wouldn't stick around. He's just the dead-libido type, or incredibly religiously brainwashed. It hurts to hear that, I know, but you just might have to look somewhere else. You have to decide if wasting the best years of your life for this guy is really worth it.
2007-10-05 04:36:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-21 03:13:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is something that should have been discussed at the time the agreement was made. Now you have agreed to it, but don't know why. It may be for religious reasons. He may not want to kiss and/or hug because of temptations. He may not be as cold you are interpreting. So, I advise you to just sit and talk with him. Tell him what you are feeling. Obviously, you like him...or you wouldn't have gone this far. I believe this can be worked out.
2007-10-05 04:37:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's just scared he'll lose control of himself if he kisses or hugs you. I don't see anything wrong with hugs tho... but maybe he's just trying to not let anything happen... talk to him by sitting down with him in a quiet place and really ask him why he won't at least hug you and that you're feeling kind of neglected in the hugs department... (hugs are very important to me too).
If he doesn't give you a good enough answer, then give him a lil more time and talk to him again and just say that you need somebody who isn't going to be afraid to hug you, and that you understand what he wants (no sex b4 marriage) and that you will keep that agreement with him no matter what. If he can't realize that hugs (not too long, no pushing against eachother in the lower body area) are that important to you, then you need to make the decision of what you can deal with... stay with him and be patient? or leave and maybe find somebody who isn't as respectful... (I say keep him, but that's just me)
2007-10-05 04:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Hey, so I'm thinking maybe he's just still warming up to you, try suggesting doing something creative & fun so you can bring out his outgoing down to earth side. Talk to him about it and let him know you are starting to feel like he's not attracted to you& address tha problem maturely. If a couple more months pass, and this problem is still going on; move on to someone better that you vibe with =]
2007-10-05 04:33:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think he might be really attracted to you sexually and if he hugs and kisses on you it might arouse him. I think he is just trying to keep his rule of no sex before marriage but, he does not know how to still be affectionate and not have sex with you.
2007-10-05 04:36:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Theres some guys who want sex but honestly he sound gay because if he aint a virgin he would happy and jumping up to have sex with you but if he dont like kissing you or hugging you something wrong with that
2007-10-05 04:32:28 · answer #8 · answered by devandanielle 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well, he has his own thinking and beliefs, likewise for you
you 2 just in for 2 months, guess he just want to be more responsible to you
talk to him on your feeling, be open and share
2007-10-05 05:10:57 · answer #9 · answered by lost man 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have not went out with a guy yet that didnt try usually the first date. just because they try dont mean they got it. but a guy or woman that doesnt try ? r u sure your his flavor?
2007-10-05 04:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by spoodleroo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋