now i take my vows seriously and could never cheat on my husband, but this man i have met gets me he seems to be more my match than my husband, but i love my husband, just not sure i am in love with him. what would you do in this situation?
2007-10-05 04:15:48 · 30 answers · asked by yayasmamma 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok let me just add this for those who think i went looking for this man, i didnt i just met him during my daily routine it was completely unplanned and unexpected.
2007-10-05 04:41:14 · update #1
I don't think a woman like you can ever be happy. Your always looking for the BBD. For you to even be considering this, or thinking this makes you a loser. #
2007-10-05 04:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I used to date married women and the easiest one's were. New mother with a child under 3. Reason being right after the child is born everything is new and your life is chaos. After about a year things start to mellow out and the mother has had time to work on their figure. These women were starved for attention because the father would of gone through the same turmoil as the mother and they both are trying to unload the child duties onto each other (this is normal). The partnership this couple has turned into a race for sanity. Give a mother like this some attention and it will be heaven. To talk like an adult again, hence new mothers are easy women to have affairs with.
I really doubt you have connected with this other man so much as have just been without deep adult relationships tor too long. FYI, "in love" is only the first stage of love. When you really know someone is when it becomes "loving".
2007-10-05 12:05:32 · answer #2 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're not really enjoying this are you, and there's a lot going on :)
I feel for you, because it can be so confusing when your values are out of sinc with what your heart seems to yearn for. Ride it out and let experience be your teacher. You'll figure it out. Ultimately though, you have to feel good about yourself, so keep your relationships as honest and clear as possible without unnecessarily hurting anyone in the process - don't blurt it out to your husband that you're interested in someone else in other words, since it will have a lasting effect that neither of you will want. My guess is that your husband is already feeling emotionally betrayed... so you will have a lot to make up for once you've sorted out what you really want.
If you are connecting with someone else, you're no doubt changing and this other man has something to teach you about love and marriage. Experiencing the often temporary and highly giddy emotion of being in love, for instance, is very different to the more lasting condition of being loving and loyal. Respect the connection with the man you have strong feelings for at the moment and later on when your emotions are more grounded, you might better understand why you've been attracted to him, and may possibly be able to relate to him in a more direct and straight forward way.
I agree with most other people here though, and would take their advice to not let him get too close to you as long as you are married, since you would be inviting confusion and a lot of emotional pain in your life in the long run.
Hopefully all the feedback you're getting here will help you through a difficult time in your marriage. Best wishes to you :)
2007-10-05 11:53:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love is very hard to figure out..And let me say I am married as well...When you get married it doesn't make you any less human than the next person and you still carry the same dreams and desires as before...Someone else may cross your path and they may seem more appealing...This sometimes happens when there is an unfulfilled area in your current relationship which definatelly needs to be discussed with your husband...Maybe you need to raise him up to your level...This is not a question of Love but simply one of common interest...Maybe the new guy just brings you back to were you have always been grounded and that part of you may be getting taken for granted by your husband...Give it time...There is nothing wrong with having a few good friends...Be careful though.... I bet the same thing will happen with the new guy as well...
2007-10-05 11:37:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
The most important thing to do is cut off all contact with this other man. Everyone thinks she/he couldn't cheat on her/his spouse, yet somehow these things happen.
It is natural to feel attraction and connection to the opposite sex. Those of us who are married just have to know when that affection is crossing the line. It sounds like yours is since you say "he seems to be more my match than my husband".
The best advice I can give you is *Walk Away* if you truly take your vows seriously. Nothing good can come from this connection. The grass isn't greener on the other side. It just appears that way.
2007-10-05 11:23:21 · answer #5 · answered by DK 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You RE-focus on your husband.
You may meet many of those so called great match, but you have to remember why you chose your husband.
Sometimes, it's the very fact that we are involved that makes us interesting, because we are happy, and there's that glow surrounding us and it's attractive.
You don't want to be like a butterfly, go from a flower to another. You know they have a short life, so it is understandable that they make the most of it.
You're in for the long run and want to build a life and a future with your husband. Think about it.
Then enjoy the attention, but make sure it doesn't ever go any further.
Good luck.
2007-10-05 11:21:35 · answer #6 · answered by Kc 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
NOT GOOD. you are just getting bored and found a new interest that is keeping you on your toes. Stop getting involved with this other man if you still love your husband. Try to spice things up and make him happy. He will make you more happy in return and you will fall in love with him once again. If you continue your relationship with this new man, you are bound to fall for him and be torn inbetween two great men in your life. Don't do it. You're going to cause more pain for yourself and you may lose both men. You love your husband... you will continue to love him even if you leave him for this other man. This new guy may be OK with you leaving your husband but he will always be jealous because your ex husband will fight for you if he loves you. If this new guy is worth all the pain and you think he is your prince charming, then go for it. But if you are just bored, then don't sacrifice what you already have just because this new guy is connecting with you. You can always spice things up and reconnect with you husband... just let him know you want to spice things up and you will be fine.
2007-10-05 11:26:15 · answer #7 · answered by Wind 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well let me share something with you, i met reno june 1994 a few months before my marriage nov 1994. we had a strong attraction the day we met, but because of my engagement ring he saw on my hand he suggested that he couldn't get my number. well i told him wrong we can be friends. we kept in touch and to make a long story short as of last May we started dating. He is my soulmate and I love him and I never regretted giving him my number. We just held it in for awhile but he confessed over the years in letters and i for the sake of my sorry marriage didn't comply until i realized last yr i left my hub and i am inlove with him and i will tell him. so you see follow your heart girl.
2007-10-05 11:35:17 · answer #8 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why you need to do anything. You take your vows seriously, you say, and wouldn't cheat. Another vow in there is "Until death do us part." Surely you take that one seriously as well, right? So, now you are married AND you have a friend. It's good to be married and it's good to have a friend. Sounds like a great situation.
2007-10-05 11:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Leave that thought, be truthful to urself and your marriage.It is not all about perfect match here but how u work in in a marriage to make it perfect.Tis might be an infatuation that u feel someone is better than the one u have but end of the day u will realise the someone is never better than anyone coz feelings and our requirements change everyday.
2007-10-05 11:24:04 · answer #10 · answered by cool_honeybabe 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would stop talking to the man that has gotten to you. If you take your marriage vows seriously, then you shouldn't even have to ask this question.
Talk to your husband and try to reconnect to him. Have a date night, joke around with him, flirt with him. Act like you did when you were dating.
2007-10-05 11:20:23 · answer #11 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋