Meddling Mother in Law?

Question

My husband and I have some communication issues which only have been exacerbated by the arrival of my mother in law to help our with our one year old. He passively-aggressively complains about me to her and last night she personally attacked/criticized me. Things have gotten to a point where I just want to be divorced and them both out of my life for good. What should I do?

Answer 1

If she is in your house - tell her to mind her own business and go home - could tell her to take her son with her if you like..

Answer 2

You need to go out and have a nice meal with your husband and calmly discuss your concern for the marriage if things continue as they are. Allow him to see that the mother in laws presence has not worked out. Say that you have always felt that in marriage, no one should talk or complain about their partner to anyone else ( like his mother)Ask him if he could think of any way to solve this. Dont say all of your solutions. Just ask him very calmly and see what he says. Children put so much stress on relationships and you need to realize that this is solvable but only if you can both have some time out to go back to the way things were. I would suggest a counselor but you risk getting a bad or biased one so I am not sure about that.

Answer 3

Kittygirl I have often heard it said that it is very difficult to have two women live under the same roof. It would be even more so when both of these woman have their own relationships with this male and their wants may be different. As far as this woman attacking you in your home I would suggest that you grow a spine and let her know how her interfering is affecting your relationship and to please mind her own business. As for your husband you and he should have a good head to head chat and lay all the cards on the table. Let him know what it is that has been bothering you and that you don't appreciate him complaining about you to his mother. Tell him if he has problems with you then to bring this to you and not his mom. Best of luck and who knows maybe by approaching mom in law she may better understand what your side of story is and come to realize that he baby boy is partly to blame also.

Answer 4

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Unfortunately, if he complains to his mother about you, then you are in a no-win situation. If you ask him not to complain to his mother, then you look like the shrewish daughter-in-law who doesn't want the poor boy to talk to his own mother. If you ask her to stay out of your business, then you look like you're ungrateful for the help that she gives with your baby.

Your only hope is to talk to him, calmly, alone, and tell him what you just told me (and everyone else on Yahoo). That he undermines your marital relationship by complaining about you to his mother. Make it clear that you appreciate her help in your home, and you don't want to interfere with THEIR relationship, but that you and he have a relationship that is supposed to be between the two of you. Letting her into your private business is a step over the line.

If it is truly so bad that you are thinking of divorce, maybe you would want to suggest counseling (for you and him). An impartial third party might get through to him.

Good luck!
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Answer 5

Well, to start off your husband doesn't need to be complaining to his mommy. That's the whole reason mommy is attacking you, her instinct is to protect her baby! And if he's constantly complaining about you she's going to try to make it "better". I would have a talk with them, you need to show mommy that, that's your house and you set the rules around there. If you don't do this now, trust me, she will soon be boss! I would start with hubby he needs to back you up 100%, tell him how you feel, if he loves you he will. Good Luck

Answer 6

It's time for the mother in law to leave the house and for you and your husband to get counseling. She may help with your 1 year old but the help won't be helping your marriage and you'll wind up divorced and wont' even have him to help you. Either she leaves and he goes to counseling, or you're gone.

Answer 7

u need to get out.if she did it once she will again.thats usually where they learn their abusive behavior.next time it may be both of them.she will never let him have a good relationship.mothers and mother in laws have to realize they have to step back and let thier kids make their own choices and mistakes.if they dont their spouse have nothing but trouble on their hands.and abuse that effects the whole family.do u want your kids to be raised that way?good luck.

Answer 8

Tell your hubby that enough is enough... He has to tell his mother that she is never to desrespect you again. He needs to stand up to her when she crosses the line. You need to take care of your own child and get her out of your home. Take charge of your family or you won't have one .

Answer 9

IF YOU WANT TO GET A DIVORCE THEN GET ONE. IF YOU WANT THINGS TO WORK OUT THEN TELL HIM TO STOP TELLING HIS MOTHER YOUR PERSONAL LIFE. IF HE CONTINUES TO THEN LET HIM AND WHEN HIS MOM COMES TO YOU AND TRYS TO ATTACK YOU AGAIN TELL HER TO MIND HER BUSINESS AND BUT OUT. PUT HER IN HER PLACE. MY MOTHER IN LAW IS THE SAME WAY AND I JUST DON'T GO AROUND HER WHEN I DON'T HAVE TO. WHEN I DO I TRY TO RESPECT HER BUT I DON'T LET HER DISRESPECT ME. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 10

Do like you would with any other adversary - stand your ground and stick up for yourself. You husband isn't going to do it for you, and unless you let your lovely MIL have it, she will NOT stop.