Last year my family and my wife's family had Thanksgiving at almost the exact same time. She decided she didn't want to go to her family's gathering because she doesn't like to be hurried and stressed out by trying to get to both. I told her we should go, but end the end we didn't go to her side's dinner. Do I have to give up my family's thanksgiving dinner this year?
2007-10-05 03:38:00 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Thanksgiving
one other thing....we see her side WAY more then we see my side.
2007-10-05 04:25:00 · update #1
You'll find these kinds of tradeoffs exist with T-giving, Christmas and other major holidays. I suggest you might invite both families to your house. If you can't do that, then do T-giving on Thursday with one, and on Friday with another, then switch the next year. The same issues arise at Christmas (if you are Christian). You're going to have to do some scheduling in advance--a pattern for years to come.
2007-10-05 03:48:29 · answer #1 · answered by scottclear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The every other year holiday thing is pretty common in marriages when family dinners are at the same time. You may need to start that to avoid stressed out 'over-holidaying'. If you decide to do that, flip a coin and start form scratch. Last year doesn't count. You and your wife probably need to sit down and work out a plan about all holidays and family visits. Sounds like doing both bothers her more than you, so if you come up with a 'great plan' she may not agree, so try to see each other's view on this. Also, if you're planning on having kids it will be even harder (with both grandparents thinking they 'need' to see the kids on a certain holiday), you might want agree that whatever plan you come up with now, may be revisited when you have kids. Good luck.
2007-10-05 14:21:15 · answer #2 · answered by conicat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is always a problem with couples - who's family to see at what holiday. Just try to balance them out. Holidays are not for stressing OR getting angry because so-n-so didn't show up. There's birthdays, 4th of July, Halloween, Easter, and others to help with the balance. Sometimes just making an appearance, giving out hugs, and eating a "bite" will make "mom" happy. Again, I think the key is balance.
On a final note; I typically take advantage of the 4 day weekend and go on vacation. We both see our families all the time so it's just not a big deal to miss ONE dinner.
2007-10-05 10:51:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily, and there is still plenty of time before Thanksgiving to iron out the logistical details (coordinate efforts, etc.) so that no ones celebrations are compromised. It could be a simple matter of informing the two family sides of the disparity (or in this case "similarity") of mealtimes and the subsequent dilemma it caused last year so that one side or the other can modify their times this year to accomodate late arriving family members. (Which will free you up to fellowship with both groups). Now is the time to be discussing this though before plans are solidified. Just be communicative, and no one should have any heartburn about this. It's a non-issue.
2007-10-05 10:49:22 · answer #4 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 'Great Diliema" of where should we go for the holidays. If you went to your family last year you should go to her family this year. Or have dinner at your house and invite everyone there. Just remember "her side" is your side too, you did marry into her family. So what do you do for Christmas?
2007-10-05 10:50:30 · answer #5 · answered by Augie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask each family if they can have their dinners at different times. That way you can have lunch with one family and dinner with the other. If that is not possible, giving up dinner with your family this year would be the nice thing to do.
2007-10-05 10:47:16 · answer #6 · answered by ~irish~moon~star~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should alternate one years her family the next is yours. or do dinner at one and dessert at the other.
2007-10-05 14:20:08 · answer #7 · answered by ginny c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋