my husband has been deployed for 15 months and is due to come home in three weeks.. yesterday he calls and tells me im not the same girl he married and he wants a divorce... so will give him the fact that ive become more indepentdent (but who wouldnt taking care of three kids alone for the last 15 months) but really can u decide if a person is the same over the phone?
2007-10-05 03:34:47 · 15 answers · asked by realbtch 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband is coming home at the end of the month and has been gone for two years. Distance and time does change a person and their lives. However, since he is so close to getting home, I would encourage you to ask him to come home and give it a shot.
He will need time to readjust and figure out what your goals are in life for you two to work on. He is probably feeling insecure and very nervous about coming home. My husband is very excited and anxious to come home. However, he is also very nervous and tensions are naturally running high.
It will take time and people do change. However, in life we always change every day and we don't notice because it's at a much slower rate. But if you are gone for several months at a time, the change is more noticeable.
2007-10-05 03:45:33 · answer #1 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Amanda; war can be hard on a family! I'm sure you've both changed during the year and 3 months he hasn't been home; he's become a little jaded and you might have become a little bitter. But that doesn't mean you two can come to love each other again!
I don't believe you can really gauge a persons personality over the phone. Ask him to just spend a few nights at home and then if he still wants that divorce well...
2007-10-05 10:57:49 · answer #2 · answered by Missy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you are no longer doing the things you did b4 he left. He knew you before he left on his deployment and can now see some changes in your relationship. I know it was hard raising three kids while he was gone. The relationship has changed and you both need to as well. If not, you all will be divorced.
A relationship is really tested when the couple is away from each other. It usually tells if you both establish a foundation for the relationship to endure storms like being away from each other and can still love one another.
2007-10-05 10:45:36 · answer #3 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so.
Maybe he has realized that he doesn't want to come back to living the way he was before?
I personally think that you guys should talk everything through, I mean it has been a year ....and quite possibly you both have changed. I don't think that necessarily means you two shouldn't be together or aren't compatible.
How does he know that you aren't the same women he married?? He hasn't seen you in a year...he needs to see you and find out.
Good luck!
Hope this helps!!
2007-10-05 10:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by Jae Rae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's screwing someone else. Adultery in the military is more serious than it is in the real world and you may have rights. Talk to someone in the military and find out what can be done to ensure your children are provided for. There was once a time a soldier could get a court martial for adultery.
2007-10-05 10:40:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband has been gone for fifteen months....this is not a life time, but it is a lot of time for things to have affected him. Have you considered that things that have happened while he was away may be making this decision for him? things aren't always perfect marriage wise in these situations, give him a little space to think, but with reassurance that you do love him.....his deployment may not have been easy for him and maybe he has some fears of returning home to his family due to experiences while he was gone...What branch is he in? and where (generally speaking) was he deployed?
2007-10-05 10:54:15 · answer #6 · answered by misstic_fire 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure. I might think that something happened while he was away that has ALL to do with him and nothing to do with you. Especially since you are in a marriage you would think that he would try to come home and work things out with you instead of just giving up.
2007-10-05 10:39:53 · answer #7 · answered by KillahKam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think so, but he's probably been through alot being in a war. It messes with alot of those guys' heads.It's probably him that isn't the same. Ask him to wait till he comes home and sees you and his kids before he makes that decision. He might change his mind.
2007-10-05 10:39:19 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is going through a lot right now. Wait until he gets home and show him how much you love and need him. No you can't tell over the phone, that's fear talking...
2007-10-05 10:39:09 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should let him do this if this is what he really wants, there isnt a way to say someone has changed over the phone. This was just simply a way to test your love and it obviously isnt as strong as you thought...
2007-10-05 10:38:55 · answer #10 · answered by Blond3 BombShell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋