I have not had a roommate for 5 years (I am 29), but moved in with a friend 2 months ago to save money. Last night I came home from a late night at work (9:00 p.m.) and he and some girl I have never seen were in the living room, lights were off, cuddled up on the coach, watching a movie, and drinking.
When I came in he didnt say one word to me, didnt say to come join them, etc. So, I really had NO CHOICE but to go to my room, as the lights were off, and they were watching a movie. I was annoyed as I thought it would have been nice of him to at least call me or send me a text message and tell me he would be using the living room, watching a movie with this girl. At least I would have prepared for it or made other plans last night. Bcs. I had no choice but to go to my room close the door basically go to bed. As we SHARE the common areas, I thought this would have been the classy thing to do and that he was rude. Am I wrong? Please let me know.
2007-10-05 03:33:35 · 22 answers · asked by mano 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It was rude of him. Rather than grumping about it, ask him if he will agree to follow some common courtesies, then spell out the ones you want to follow. This would include the texting, or requesting private time in advance or whatever agreement you work out. Then if he breaks the agreement you have grounds to move out or whatever.
2007-10-05 03:38:06 · answer #1 · answered by 1,1,2,3,3,4, 5,5,6,6,6, 8,8,8,10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your roommate definitly didn´t act the most mature way. But I wouldn´t be too disappointed that he didn´t ask you to come sit with them. You are absolutely correct that he could have send a text or called.
Just tell him in a friendly way, maybe when you hang out in the living room next time, that you felt a bit akward and that you would appreciate it if he dropped you a text in such a case next time. Makes life for both of you easier.
Still, the trouble is that you share the common areas. Your only choice would have been not to share a room/apartment with someone as you probably would want to invite someone over without asking his permission too (don´t get me wrong there, I can´t find a better word, it´s not meant to sound rude or abusive).
2007-10-05 03:41:52 · answer #2 · answered by Bianca W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm....not necessarily rude that he didn't let you know ahead of time. The last thing either of you probably want is aparent figure to report to. I mean you could have still went to your room and then left again to do something else.
But, the not acknowledging you when you came in was a tad bit rude. I don't think it was rude of him not to invite you to watch with them, but he should have at least said hello and introduced you to his friend.
Maybe just talk to him and say next time text you or something if he doesn't want to be bothered when you come home. Or just try to set some common rules when having friends over. Having a roommate can be work sometimes! lol
2007-10-05 03:38:53 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi.. yes it would have been nice of your roommate to ASK YOU if it was ok if he had company and hogged the entire living room for himself... what he did was wrong...
I don't think there would have been an 'issue' if your friend had the girl over, watching a movie with a light on, like NORMAL people who have roommates.
Your living room is a common area, not a hotel room, so perhaps you could let your friend know that while he's welcome to have guests, you would like the freedom to use the common area/living room anytime you like.
Have you considered putting a TV in your room? and cable if you have that in your living room? Just thinking....
2007-10-05 03:40:10 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think this is very rude of him. I've just moved in with a male housetoo, and he also had a girl round to watch a DVD, but first he texted me to let me know, and when I got in, he called me in, turned the light on and introduced me to the girl. He then even asked if i wanted to watch the film with them, I felt a bit uncomfortable so i said no thanks. I told them that I'd probably keep walking through to go outside for a cigarette and they said thats fine. I did have to spend the evening in my room, but at least i was given the choice. Plus, because he had asked, and been polite about it, and I didnt mind, i now know that he would probably return the favour. u should have a friendly word with him, otherwise he'll carry on behaving like that, and then you'll feel its too late to say anything. Good luck!
2007-10-05 03:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by KJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you think he would have at least said "Hi" when you walked in!?! I would talk to your roommate and just let him know you were a bit uncomfortable and maybe work out something like calling or texting each other when either of you are entertaining. Explain to him that if he would have sent you a message, you would have made other plans to give him some privacy. Communication and compromise are key for any type of relationship.
2007-10-05 03:39:21 · answer #6 · answered by Icebabe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He was rude for not even say hello to you, not for using the living room without giving you a previous notice, it is his place too you know? but if this bothers you that much you should talk to him and about it. since you both share the common areas of the house, you should establish some rules or may a schedule for the use of these common areas.
2007-10-05 03:44:40 · answer #7 · answered by pulpis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not rude though maybe you should get a small tv in your bedroom, even like a second hand one. That way you can watch tv or something when you get home, in case that happens again.
Because if you had a girl over then you might want to use the living room. That way, he can take the tv into his room. It works out.
2007-10-05 03:40:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you said, You share the common areas, so I would have just went and sat down and watched the movie until I felt tired enough to go to bed, It is your house too, and if he felt uncomfortable he could of went to his room with the girl. Like you said he could have had some respect and informed you before hand that she was going to be there.
2007-10-05 03:38:14 · answer #9 · answered by Grants a tractor luvr! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should have given you heads up at least. It would be akward for you to sit with them when they didn't invite you. He could have been busy spending time with the girl he forgot maybe? You should work out that ground rule with him since it came up. Tell that next time if one of us has a girl over let the other person know so they can make plans so the moment isn't akward. See how that works out! GL...
2007-10-05 03:40:20 · answer #10 · answered by lil_luv_baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋