i love a boy who is a doctor, i am too a doctor and also ambitious, he also loves me a lot but he hates my love for career as he feel neglected and he hates my family as they insulted him once. if i marry him he will love me for sure but keep me as an housewife and will make my contact with my family members as minimum as possible because he thinks these two things might bring disturbance in our married life. should i go ahead and marry him but i love my parents, i am scared. can he change and accept them and my career as well?
2007-10-05 02:18:50 · 23 answers · asked by tara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO TARA;
Dont get married to this person, if such an educated person can do this before marriage , imagine what he will do later?? Is it love, I dont think so....
God has given you this query and quest in ur mind and ur are asking it here? and u are getting answers, this should tell u.. Your parents raised u very well to be a=doctor and this person so called is LOVE SHOULD LOVE U AND UR WORK, UR CAREER AND ur PARENTS WHY NOT? Ask him he you dont like his parents how will he feel?? Do ask him this???
So my advise there is someone who is made for us a perfect macth and one get many till we get the one.. so say him bye ...
2007-10-06 04:43:53 · answer #1 · answered by nisha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a huge commitment. You should marry your best Friend, your equal....
He sounds like a sexist pig and i don't think you would want to marry someone who makes you his little house wife! this is the twenty seventh century! women have lives of there own to! Also If he wants you to stay away from your family then that is wrong and awful. If he truly loved you, he would let you go around them when ever you please, despite his personal feelings for them.
I'm really sorry, but he is never going to change. i think you know that deep down to. He is a self centered jerk and you deserve so much better. Find someone who loves you know matter what and wont make you sacrifice half of who you are to make him happy.
2007-10-05 14:09:30 · answer #2 · answered by ledzepchick99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Starting off on a rocky road can only lead to a dead end cliff. You two already have different ideas of the future, your dreams, wants and loves. What more do you have to know before ending a failing relationship. Sure you might love him now, but down the road you will end up hating him. It's always easier to get into a marriage than to get out of one. Step back - take a long hard look at the picture and then run as fast as you can the other way.
2007-10-05 09:31:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't marry him. When you marry someone, you marry into their family and it works both ways. You come with a family and a history. Your career ambitions also need to respected. If he wants you to give up your career, then he needs to be a big enough person to fill that gap and it doesn't sound like he's going to do this. Go find a book called Happily Ever After by Toben and Joanne Heim. The first chapter is totally relevant to you.
2007-10-05 09:27:29 · answer #4 · answered by Emlou 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don’t marry anybody who openly doesn’t respect your wishes and wants to manipulate you in a very nasty way.
Will you be happy when he turned you into a housewife?
Will you be satisfied with your life once you have thrown your career away just to make him happy?
He will never accept you as a full partner; he wants a typical housewife who lives just to attend his wishes and needs. He doesn’t appreciate independent and intelligent women.
He will separate you from your family and you will stand alone, without job and without family - so he will be able to treat you, as he is pleased.
Don’t be a fool, find somebody who will be a partner and appreciates and respects your ambitions and future plans.
This man wants a servant and not a partner as his wife…
2007-10-05 11:19:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anita P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask you’re self about how this makes you feel? This guy, does he really love you?
Are you willing and ready to give up everything (your work, your family, later maybe your friends) for this guy? Are you sure this is love? Sometimes we are blind with so much other stuff going on in everyday stuff we do not see things for what they really are. This guy if he really loves you, would he be willing to compromise with you about things like your work and family? The best thing for you to do at this time is to ask your self some basic questions, be open and honest to yourself!!
Does this love require you to do things you do not want to do?
This guy, is it his way or no way?
When you are together does everything fall into place?
Do you both share the same thoughts and feelings?
Do you have to answer to everything you do when he is not with you?
Do you need to change things to for him to love you?
Do you share everything with him no matter what?
Does he share everything with you?
Look ahead into the future, is this the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with?
When you are done with the answers to these questions, is this how you see love?
Love is the one thing in life we seek to find! When you do find real love you can not hide it from anyone. You can try but the fact is, when you do find real love you can not hide it!! Love shows in your eyes, in your smile, people will see and feel the passion you have found when you give them a hug or the shake of your hand. Love is the one thing that is always a 2 way street! You both have to give and be willing and open enough to share anything, and everything, no matter how easy or how hard it maybe. When you find yourself in any relationship that one is not willing to open up all the doors to your heart and let the other one in then there is no relationship. It is a one way street that dead ends! It will leave one of you to pick up the pieces to try and find away to carry on! It will leave your heart with a scar, it leaves you wondering what happened? When you find yourself asking questions and working on loving someone it’s not love.
I hope this does help you out with some of your questions!
Thanks
Rags37:):)
2007-10-05 10:35:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him. Unless you're going to be happy staying at home being a housewife and a mother, then don't. Also, your family shouldn't be insulting anyone you are considering marrying. However, from the little that you've said in your question, I have a feeling he may be a bit of a control-freak.
2007-10-05 09:24:13 · answer #7 · answered by Shayna 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well... I understand you want to get married and start a family, just imagine this: you have a girl and sudenly she decides to marry and stay away from you and your super Doctor husband, how would you feel?
There is another thing you have to think about, you are a Doctor as well that means years of non sleeping, precticing, studying etc... How are you going to feel if he comes back LATE from work and you want to talk about his day... andhe will answer... well it was as always but I cant talk to you about it because you dont know how it is now a days. Sounds hard but he seems to be so selfish that might hurt you.
Please, please, please follow your heart and your mind, not because you want to have someone close to you, you wont get someone who stands by you.
Best wishes.
2007-10-05 09:47:59 · answer #8 · answered by Marquel 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
some counsellor advise, if you want to marry a girl, first determine if you can marry the mummy of the girl or not. If you can marry the Mummy then you are likely going to be happy in your marriage. Now I doubt if this boy can marry your Mummy because already he hates your family.
marriage is like a wrapped gift whatever you find when you open it you will live with. Can you live with all that you will meet with this boy of yours. Be careful girl.
2007-10-05 09:44:27 · answer #9 · answered by gerr_serr 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are considering marrying someone who is going to TAKE CONTROL of your life and happiness?
You are considering marrying someone who hates? And it's your family he hates?
You are considering marrying someone who is EXPECTS you to quit the career you love to stay home and WAIT FOR HIM?
You are considering marrying someone who will keep you from communicating with your family? You'll be living like a prisoner...!!!
I would be scared too.
What is wrong with being single until you meet someone who actually cares for you and respects you for who you are and for what you want to do with your life?
The man you are with now, seems to want to keep you as a personal sex slave who has no freedom to choose.
Why marry a control freak, tyrant... you do not have to!
2007-10-05 09:26:56 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋