HI, tonight is been a horrible night! I know my husband for 1 year and 9 months we had a daughter 8 months ago everything was perfect before we had our baby we used to have sex almost every night, I mean wild sex! and it seem to e that he loved it, well After I had my baby we had sex maybe 3 times a week, but is been like 4 months that we only have it three times a month!
He comes from work watches TV for like 30 to 45 minutes then he eats then play the play station, spends a little bitof time with our baby! then do homework for like 2 hours then gets in the shower, he goes to bed sometimes and doesnt say good night! and today we had and argument because he doesnt want to do anything with me, and he says that he's very tired and needs to get some sleep for next day to work! I told him that sex is very important in a marriage and he said that it is not important to him, and I say that he was very wrong and imature for saying that, because sex is one the the things that keeps marriage!
Additional Details
31 minutes ago
Sex is one the the things that keeps a marriage alive! anf he said that I was the childish one cause I dont understand that he's tired and we should have sex early, but we live with my parents, so we cant have sex early! and the baby doesnt sleeps until 12:00 pm, so we cant do it anyway, I dont know whats wrong with him, I feel like he doesnt love me or see me atractive! I know hes not cheatig on me but a man cant live without sex either! Help me please!
21 minutes ago
I dont like to be the one who always starts the sex! when we have sex he goes straight to you know where, Im sick of it, I wish he was the one who kisses me all over, but no Im the one who does all that, I have talk to him about it many times, all he did tonight was left the room and sleep in the couch didnt say good night to our baby either like everyother night! is wierd cause Im his 3 girls that he has sex with,
I am a very sexy woman Im not fat, I dont know what Im doind wrong!
2007-10-04 22:10:27 · 14 answers · asked by Ursula M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You've essentially answered your own question. He is overloaded so sex to him isn't important when sleep is more important. It is very usual for people to loose there sex drive after having children, from too much stress or from being very tired. Connecting with him is important. Tell him you understand how he feels and that you want to help him to be more "energetic" so you can have more quality time together. They say doing physical things together can help. I would give him a good massage, tantalize him with oral sex, and tell him things he wants to hear, like how you think about him during the day and get turned on, or write him little love/sex notes that he has to find by suprise. I would continue to show interest, but DO NOT PRESSURE, and DO NOT FORCE. If there are ways you can get him to think about sex, and positively anticipating it, then things should improve. Get the Kama Sutra and don't get discouraged. Three times a month isn't that bad... three times a year and you'd have an issue.
2007-10-04 22:21:36 · answer #1 · answered by hawaiiwahine71 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's had/having a bit of a stressful time, and if you were big before and he was attracted to you, then there's no reason why he shouldn't be now. Men often bottle up their feelings, and if he's stressed it might make him shut himself away from other people, including you. The reason for visiting porn sites might be because he still has that urge inside, but because of the negativity between you (i.e, the arguing), he might not want to express himself you you, because everything either ends badly, or with an arguement. In a way, he might be avoiding you to avoid a confrontation. I would suggest a long talk, try to make him feel appriciated rather than just arguing, try to dwell on the good things in your life, and hey, why not try out a few new things in the bedroom, ask him what he would like from you and share your ideas, and hopefully it will raise your moods, and your sex life. Good luck!
2016-04-07 05:06:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems your husband is just plain tired, its not you but seems to be the stress of it all.... rescheduling the baby's bedtime may help and living with other people can hinder things as well....once a baby comes along it is different, and the things you use to do before the baby is going to change... just try to find time during the week that you two can be alone make a point of it... even if you two dont have sex just being with one another could help....
2007-10-04 22:32:48 · answer #3 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are visually stimulated creatures: If we aren't pleased in this way, often times we lose interest. (i.e.: Get your azz to the gym!) Another problem is the baby taking attention from the place where he was once the center of attention. The fact that he pays attention to the baby proves he loves you and the child; he just seems not to find sexual energy from you as a source anymore. Try paying attention to these details and see if things imporve.
2007-10-04 22:22:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband seems as if he is too tired to have sex. You should try to put your baby in a routine where she/he falls asleep around 8.30pm talk to a someone that can help you with this and when your husband comes home you have all the time for him so go to bed early so he isnt tired.
2007-10-04 22:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by wana help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing nothing wrong. He must have some issues things on his mind. Try and find some time where you can maybe go have a meal together in the evening, away from family and your baby. Then have a few drinks and start to talk to him about it. Good luck!
2007-10-04 22:14:23 · answer #6 · answered by Annie M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is defintiley one factor in a marriage. But this is kinda an odd twist since I would expect this kinda reaction from a husband rather than a wife. What does he do for a living? Could it be possible he's cheating? Cause from what i've seen from males they usually go nuts for sex. Or in State College's case frat boys go nuts for date rape. I'm not giving you a positive that he's cheating but it could be a possibility. Thats mostly what I can advise here. What you do from here is done at your own risk.
2007-10-04 22:24:05 · answer #7 · answered by stormfeather84 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men lose their drive a little and then become concerned and worried, and try to avoid situations where they may not be able to perform. Maybe you wore him out, or maybe stress is affecting his libido. If hes stressed then you may need to get him some help.
We guys are often to embarrassed to talk about some things. Sometimes its the flesh thats unwilling.
2007-10-04 22:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by scooter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In talking as you do here on yahoo, you are likely to get plenty of offers from males who just want to dip their stick in any ol hole and you could then set yourself up for marriage failure and HIV not to mention any other sexually transmitted disease.
Your husband may be tired. Your relationship may be over. The alternatives for you in staying put are masturbation - you never know if you did it in front of him he may get excited.
Moving to your own place as a family unit might present you both with more opportunities to develop relations again.
2007-10-04 22:19:06 · answer #9 · answered by The Best 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think hes taierd of having sex all night .Try to look sexy and tell him i love and good night before he goes to sleep and kiss him in the lips before he goes to work good luck
2007-10-04 22:22:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋