how do u punish cats without them retaliating?

Question

my female cat purposefully does stuff to piss me off, you can see it in her eyes. I've tried everything from being nice to locking her up, but every time I punish her she gets worse, but if I don't she just does it anyway what do I do?

Answer 1

I agree with Leslie. Spray bottles are good in concept but lead to trust issues with your cat and teach them to be sneaky about what they do. I use distraction to make my cats behave. When they get into something they don't need to, I get a ball or other toy and get their minds on that. I've found that getting on table during meals is often solved only by putting them in the other room till dinner's over. Cat's can't be trained to the extent dogs are because cats have different mental set up. They are independent and will retaliate. One of mine would crap in my bed when I p*ssed her off. We had to reach an understanding. Now she doesn't do that anymore because I learned to respect her and she in turn respects me. I think the popularity of spray bottles is relative to the fact that you don't have to get up and do anything with your cat. Just a spray and they run hide. It's the lazy way.

Answer 2

Firstly, I'm not a big fan of the squirt bottle option. It treats the symptoms of the miscommunication, not the source, and all it teaches the cat is how to fear you. Sorry about that to the other folks who use this method.

The core issue here is a lack of communication with your cat. I'm also not sure what you mean when you say she does stuff to piss you off. If she's jumping up on your kitchen counter or getting on places you don't want her to be, put metal on those surfaces. Cats don't like the feel of metal on their pads and she'll learn to avoid those areas as being uncomfortable.

Cats tell each other no in several ways. One way is to tap the cat lightly on the head, something they do to each other when they fight. You can also hold her gently by the scruff of the neck while telling her no in a firm, descending tone.

You mentioned that you can see she's up to no good in her eyes. Staring at a cat directly is a challenge posture and that could also be a factor in your relationship. Blinking 3 times slowly, speaking quietly, calm grooming and gentle touches will help re-establish some respect between the two of you.

Punishing a cat like you would a dog hardly ever works. They have very long memories and they do take it personally. Learning how to communicate more at her level should help. Good luck with this. Please remember that cats aren't evil. They're just animals.

Answer 3

There's absolutely no point trying to punish a cat. Not only is it mean but it will make them fear and resent you. I'm not a fan of the squirting water trick either - the web article below explains why it has drawbacks.

http://www.littlebigcat.com/index.php?action=library&act=show&item=squirtbottlespunishmentandcatbehavior1

It's important to understand a cat's psychology. A cat is by nature a solo predator and has not needed to develop canine style social behaviour in order to be an accepted member of a pack. Their survival is not dependent upon being sub-servient to a more dominant animal. Their independent nature means if they are mistreated or unhappy, they will move on to better pastures.

You don't say what she does that annoys you, so I've posted a link for a cat problem page and for the Messy Beast web site which has lots of information about cat psychology that will help you understand why she does the things she does. You might find the one on Cat Communication particularly helpful.

http://www.celiahaddon.co.uk/pet%20problems/cats/frameset.html
http://www.messybeast.com/catarchive.htm#health

Positive reinforcement works best with cats. When they do something you're happy about reward them with food treats or affection. They're clever animals and soon learn to adopt behaviour that benefits them in some way.

Misbehaviour, should be ignored or re-directed. If she bites, tell her 'no', move her aside and walk away. If she scratches furniture etc., offer her an acceptable alternative like a scratch post etc. Wherever possible, try to mimic what the mother cat would do to discipline her kittens. Hissing is a very effective way of getting a cat to stop whatever it is they are doing. Gently scruffing the skin at the back of the neck usually calms them down straight away if they're getting a little too rough.

Be patient and kind with her. It takes time for them to learn our language and understand what we want from them.

Answer 4

I had a cat that would not listen for anything too...I tried the squirt bottle thing when she would get on countertops, and she would get my attention, make eye contact and jump on the counter, wait for eye contact and scram...it was really annoying, although funny at the same time. Now I have ferrets that are worse..ha. But, that could just be your cats way of getting attention, or getting even...good luck

Answer 5

What is the "stuff" she does? Many of the things cats do that irritate their owners can be prevented by simple, passive measures. For instance, if she scratches the furniture, fill a squirt bottle with water and squirt her in the face when she does it. Make sure to say "NO" loudly. (She'll still do it when you're not in the room). When you're not home or when you're asleep, put her away someplace where she can't get in trouble. If she chews cords, cover them with Tygon tubing or put things away so she can't get at them. Go to cats.about.com to see if you can find anything to help you, since you didn't list specific behaviors here.

Have you considered that she may be trying to get your attention?

Answer 6

My half siamese went through a phase like this--for him it was ANY attention was good, even if it was bad attention, and he was driving us up the wall with pushing things off stuff, making a mess, generally being so bad we were going nuts.

We finally wised up that he wanted attention. So what my sig. other and I did was immediately stop all recognition of his bad acts, ignoring them completely. We only praised him, going up to him and talking to him, giving him a little pet. Said his name when we came into the room, only did any acknowledgement of the GOOD stuff he did, even if it was only sitting there quietly in the center of the room.

He turned completely around inside of 4 days. Negative training had no effect on him but positive training absolutely did. I'm ashamed to say it took US forever to recognize the problem and act accordingly.

Answer 7

What exactly does she do? I doubt she does it deliberately to piss you off - 'you can see it in her eyes' - could this be in your head, by any chance? She's probably just being a cat, and she's probably scared of you by now.

Chalice

Answer 8

i have to cats what i do is use a water bottle on your cat