I have a 43 year old brother who is lonely and looking online. He is debating whether he should mention in his info that he is scarred. He was burned as a child and his burn scars extend up the lower part of his face. On one hand, he knows that his scars are a turn-off for some and would like to weed out those who could not accept them. He is tired of women who see his scars and suddenly decide that they want only friendship. On the other hand his scars are not who he is - they do not define him. He would like to meet and get to know others as a person, not as a scarred person. He does not want anyone to feel sorry for him; he does not feel sorry for himself. I am sure the same issue comes up with people who have any number of physical problems. So, would you send in a picture that shows the scars or mention them in your description? If so, what would you say? And if not, when and how would you mention them?
2007-10-04 18:20:54 · 7 answers · asked by nel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would outline all of my qualities, so that they could make an informed choice about me as a person, and then I'd add a 'by the way, I have a nasty set of burn scars on my face that make me look extra appealing - if you're afraid you'd get too tantalizingly turned on, think it over before responding, ok?'
Make the scars a positive, not a negative.
"Don't you wish you had nifty scars too?"
Pass along a 'good luck' on the search for that dream date.
2007-10-04 18:26:27 · answer #1 · answered by Stuart 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's a shame he has to deal with that.
I think if he mentions them it will definitely help him screen out the people who are too superficial to accept them. Putting a picture up will help him meet only people who can deal with it.
I think he should mention it but be upbeat about it... something like "in case you're wondering, my scars are from burns I received when I was a child- they are part of what I look like but do not define who I am..." or something like that, ya know?
Best of luck to him.
2007-10-04 18:26:27 · answer #2 · answered by John 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would tell them and post my picture on these sites.. I have scares from a wreck I was in and I'm not ashamed of them, and besides I want people to get to know me, not worry about the scars that's only the outside, Once they see he's scares and want to know what happened, If they like him and his personality the scares will be forgotten...
2007-10-04 18:34:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will help things if you have some money to go along with the scars...women like security....
But there are hearts out there that maybe have some defect also that will gladly accept you.....But I would let it be known at first then they can decide if that is to their liking....
When I was dating what is my husband now, I was so in love with him and I would think, even if he was blind I would still love him.....
2007-10-04 18:39:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who is badly disfigured,(by fire) and he is never without a female.He is scarred all the way from head to toe,after a while you dont even notice it.I would mention it beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
2007-10-04 18:55:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send the picture. It's better than being rejected on a first date.
I have a good suggestion:
look for Asian singles who is currently IN THEIR HOME COUNTRY pref. Filipinas 'cause they fall for any American...
---it's only a suggestion though..
2007-10-04 18:26:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Put it in his pic, and type (yeah, it's a scar).
2007-10-04 18:24:30 · answer #7 · answered by Wocka wocka 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋