what does it mean if my ex-boyfriend send me flowers on my birthday and signs the card with "love" and then his name? there is soooooooooooooooooo much more to the story than this. short version.....we just had a baby together, his mother (i think, but am pretty positive) wants him all to herself b/c he pays her bills, he has not seen the baby in over a month, he's admitted to being a momma's boy, ask me to marry him now has changed his mind and a lot of other things. anyways...why in the world would he send me flowers on my birthday? the arrangement even came with a teddy bear and hershey kisses!!! i'm so confused. i love him and care about him deeply, but have just gotten used to the idea of not being with him. i filed for child support too. i just know that if we were ever to get back together he would have to move out of his mother's house (it's actually his house). he has acted like he does not care, but sending me flowers? and remembering my birthday? i need some advice.
2007-10-04 18:00:39 · 18 answers · asked by nena 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
some of you have it all wrong. i'm not mad that he sent me flowers! i'm just confused...especially since he has not bothered to come see his daughter in over a month. he's missing out on a lot!
i did call him after i received the flowers to thank him. he asked how we were and if we needed anything and that was it. he didn't say anything about wanting to see her
2007-10-04 18:16:58 · update #1
thank you all for your answers....great advice and insight!
2007-10-04 18:20:24 · update #2
The mommas boy still has a soft spot for you!! You are loved by this man inspite of his faults!
2007-10-04 18:03:44 · answer #1 · answered by helper 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a guy game. They want you, but with their terms. Set your own terms and stick to them. Tell him that you appreciate the card and flowers, but that does not change anything. It is your way or no way. If you don't lay the law down, he will let his mother run over you the entire relationship. This is not a problem unique to him. Some guys just think that you will give in because you love them. They may love you too, but sometimes love is just not enough. There is a commitment factor. Obviously he has not made the commitment of taking care of this child, because he has not seen the child in over a month!! If he can't make a commitment to his child, what makes you think that he can make one to you?? Do not settle. Go for what you and your child need in life. He sounds like a loser.
2007-10-04 18:25:56 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I dont know your age group and all, I'd just say treat him like you would any guy your just getting to know...Take your time, let him PROOVE a lot to you so as you wont get all major disappointed, Besides if your somewhat of a challenge for him now emotionally...GOOD.. stay involved in other peoples lives, friends, and all so he not take you for granted, If he wants YOU bad enough, the cord to mama should be cut by him himself, The other women is NOT always a sex partner!! been there a time or two, Goodluck and Godbless your Baby 2 !!
2007-10-04 18:10:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is not given without truth behind it. There's always something in the way... I know its easy to personify it with his mother but see the big picture. If you can pay all your kid's own bills then that would help. If you can file for child support then that means homeboy makes a living. If he is busy spending over $150 or so to give you a b-day present that doesn't last he is not that great with money. Mother should live where she is allowed but know her role. If you are good for his situation then ok. If you are not then you should be working on improving yourself. Nobody wants someone who decreases who they are. Live in harmony and benefit each other.
2007-10-04 18:08:50 · answer #4 · answered by chris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of guys send flowers and chocolate as random acts of kindness.They think that's what they should do.. This could be just part of his personality. Don't get too worried and look for other signs. If he moves out of her house and then asks you again well..... ps be glad . My husband always said I was going to get you flowers...3 babies later... I think he forgot how to go to the corner store...HA
2007-10-04 18:09:17 · answer #5 · answered by jan d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you stay with him you will always have the same problem it will only get worse and you will have a lot of issues with the mom, I'm in the same situation we have two kids and I have been dealing with this for 8 years only b/c I loved him but I can't be in a relationship when the mommy is running the show and now I've had enough I had to let him go back to his mommy. I f he can prove himself to be a man your man then give it a go we all want to be with our kids father.
2007-10-04 18:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by Ms.Beauty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't read too much into this ... he did a nice thing by sending you flowers for your birthday...he didn't say he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Say thank you for the flowers, let him visit his child, and get on with your life.
2007-10-04 18:04:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know his age but the house is his and he made a kid so he needs to be responsible to you and the kid....
I would go to court and get the baby his name and get child support......
then tell him he made the decision to make this baby now he needs to make another decision and tell his mother what he has done and he wants to take care of you....for goodness sakes.....
If he won't do this, get the child support and move on with your life.and make sure he pays the child support....that is what the child support office is for........don't hang around him anymore....don't speak to him or anything until he decides to take care of you and the baby and that is if you have not found someone who will.
2007-10-04 18:26:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teddy bear AND hershey kisses? That's serious.
OK, actually it's not. He's either on the fence about you or he's toying with you (or both). If he really loved you neither his mom nor anything else would stand in his way.
The baby makes it tempting but I have no reservation in urging you to stay FAR AWAY from this loser. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
2007-10-04 18:04:12 · answer #9 · answered by Farty McFly 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He remembered because he cares! I think he's just so torn between wanting to be with you and his baby...and his mother needing him for financial support. It's very selfish of her to be robbing him of his young life and family, just to fulfill her needs. She should get a job or apply for assistance and manage on her own. Keep the lines of communication open...but make sure that he understands you don't want to live with his mother, nor should you be expected to.
2007-10-04 18:06:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋