Parents? Why don't they understand?

Question

How do I get my parents do understand that I am not a complete loser? I just got found out for using d*u*s and other susbstances, my parents recently found out. Not that they worry about it to much, but they think that I suck at everything in life now. All I hear is "No boys gunna love you with that tattoo" "No boys gunna love you when your 30 and hooked on D*U*S"

And what hurts even more is that they don't know how much it hurts me when they say it! I want to prove to htme, that I have feelings to ya know!

Answer 1

They know you have feelings sweetie. At the moment they are more than likely very frustrated with the way things are going in your lives. Do you think that when they envisioned you growing up, that you would be involved with drugs? Or get a tattoo? You have to understand, the mind of a teenager or young adult is way different than a mind of a mature adult. They want what is best for you. They want you to live your life as normally as possible and be happy. What parent wishes the worst upon their child? The mindset of your parents is that you are going down the wrong path and it will only lead to unhappiness and troubles in your life. The way they are handling it is kinda harsh, but like I said before, they are probably frustrated and feel like they just can't get through to you. What you all need to do is have a very serious talk. Just lay it out in the open. Once you voice your feelings, they will more than likely let you know exactly what's going on. Just listen. Listen to what they are saying. Make sure they are listening to what you are saying too. Hopefully things will be better for all of you. Take care.

Answer 2

I believe that being understanding towards the kids does indeed keep a healthy relationship among both sides. My parents are very much like this. Yet, they draw the line. I don't want to say they were strict on me entirely, but they sure knew what was right and wrong and taught me plenty of it. Violet

Answer 3

GET OFF THE DRUGS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me tell you this, My wife and I are going through a divorce right now. We have been split up since January. She cheated on me. Her new boyfriend got her hooked on weed, cocaine, crack. Now she is in trouble with the law. She is looking to spend a few years in jail. She lost custody of the kids. She can only see the under supervision. When she goes to jail she will not be able to see her kids because I will not bring them to see her. It would be to hard on the kids.

You probably don't have kids right now. I hope not anyways. Kids do not need a mother on drugs. I hope this helps you see the path you are taking is the wrong path for your future. As far as the tattoo don't sweat it. But, the only man you will attract when your 30 and on drugs will be another drug addict.

Answer 4

Your parents are not helping your situation by giving you all of this negativity. You need to tell them that negativity is not going to motivate you or encourage you to do the right things. Sometimes parents think that they know it all without listening to their children, but it's hard for parents to hear their children when the children don't talk to them in their parental language, (when parents are really the ones who need to learn the adolescent language)... I'm probably not making any sense, but as frustrating and hard as it is rise above your parents you should try to sit down and insist on yourself that you maintain a calm, rational tone. People in general get defensive when they are accused so try to find neutral words that they may be receptive to... try not to take the victim role so that they may be more open to hear what you have to say. When you act more mature than they're acting it'll grab their attention.

Answer 5

Your parents aren't saying those things because they really believe that's what will happen. They're saying it because they love you; and by saying those things, they think it will scare you into stopping the drugs and trying to motivate you into a more positive approach.

Unfortunately, parents don't realise that destructive criticism like that actually pushes the child away further.

Prove yourself to them by your behaviour. Tell them that you're hurt and express your feelings to them.

Hope everything works out for you.

Answer 6

if the truth hurts sweetie, you need to change it.
your parents are only trying to get you to realize that you are going down a dangerous path.

Drug use has never been beneficial to anyone, clean up now while you are still young and have a chance at a normal life.
do it for you, not for your parents or for a boy.. You are the only one in this life who can rely on to take care of you.
I was headed down your path at one point in my life, it took me many years to get to a new one.
I hope it does not take you as long as it did for me to realize that my parents were right, and trying to help me.
Good Luck.

Answer 7

I think maybe it's you that doesn't understand. If you do things that they object to e.g. "I just got found out" how can you expect them to understand that you're not a loser? Why don't you sit down and talk to them, tell them how you feel and listen to what they have to say.

Answer 8

First of all, why are you censoring out "drugs"?
Second, what parent loves for their children to be on drugs? You think they "don't understand" because of the simple fact they don't like you being on drugs?
Yeah.. They just DON'T understand. Right.

Answer 9

Why don't you first prove to them you can act mature? Get help and stop your drug use. It won't get you anywhere, it will only ruin your life. Why don't you realize how much it hurts THEM to see their daughter go down such a sad path?

Answer 10

Most parents don't understand- because they no longer remember what it was LIKE to be your age. And because you went against them on this Issue- they think YOU don't love them any more, because you didn't Listen to them! Tell them HOW you feel; listen to how THEY feel, and try to understand where "everybody's coming from". It may not Solve anything, but at LEAST everybody will know WHERE they stand... Good luck.