MY GODMOTHER CAME TO ME AND ASK ME TO PUT HER DAUGHTER IN MY WEDDING TO HELP HER WITH HER SELF ESTEEM BUT I DID NOT KNOW SHE GOT THAT BIG AND I MEAN BIG LIKE SIZE 32 DRESS. SO WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2007-10-04 17:55:21 · 23 answers · asked by bryanjailyne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Her esteem is not a problem to be solved by making her part of the wedding party. Can you ask her to be in charge of the guest book? Can she help organize the gifts that need to be brought from the reception to your home? Can you ask her to take candid photos at the reception? Can she help with the seating arrangements or writing out the invitation envelopes?
2007-10-04 18:27:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The issue really isn't her appearance. Your bridesmaids should be those women who are closest to you. In your situation, the daughter isn't a close friend of yours. You'd only include her as a favor to your godmother. I don't believe that would raise her self-esteem. There's nothing you can do to change the way she feels about herself. In addition to her weight, being guilt tripped into having her in your bridal party will only cause you to be resentful and feel uncomfortable. That's the honest truth isn't it?
Let your godmother know that perhaps the daughter can do a reading during the ceremony. This way she'll still be a part of the wedding but not in a way that is awkward or inappropriate. You have every right to choose your best friends to be there supporting you throughout the wedding planning and on your special day. Having someone be a bridesmaid when you don't want them to be will only add stress.
2007-10-05 01:28:48 · answer #2 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Weight and size aside. Do you want her in your wedding?? If you aren't close with her then she should not be in the wedding party. And shame on your God-Mother. That's the wrong reason to put her in. It might even hurt the poor girl's self- esteem more. I'm a larger woman and seeing myself in some of those dresses is not a really big ego boost. Then add in the fact that you're standing in front of a whole lot of people doesn't help matters. If you really want to help, have her do something else to help out and be a part of in your big day.
2007-10-05 01:19:57 · answer #3 · answered by madame_rubyat 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what size she is. She buys her own dress. Don't let her size alter your decision about asking her to be a bridesmaid.
But I think it is a poor idea to put someone in your wedding party just cuz someone asked yout oo. They are supposed to be the people you want standing for you at your wedding, not just anyone who needs a self esteem boost. If you've already asked her... well... then that's that. If you haven't asked her than consider if you really want HER there, without considering her weight.
Let that be your process. And get over your weight issues.
2007-10-05 01:10:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line this is your wedding, wether its' because of her weight or just becasue you want to keep it only your friends should be your decision. If you really don't want her in it. dont put her in it. i really dont think walking in a wedding will fix someones self esteem.
I almost had the same problem, before I knew it I have 11 bridesmaids. I cut it down to 6 quickly. I made sure everyone know I dont want any of my briedsaid to be taller then me or bigger then me in weight. thats what i wanted because i was paying for my wedding with my fiance so the decision of our wedding was our decision. so all my bridesmaids are a size 1-5. and i'm a size 3.
2007-10-05 09:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by Ethan's Mama 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her weight is not a reflection of you. Why worry about it. If you do not want her in the wedding tell your Godmother that the wedding party is set and you are trying to keep expenses down so you cannot add another.
2007-10-05 01:00:04 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I stood in the wedding of one of my cousins. He is best friends with his (now) wife's uncle, this man, the uncle, also happens to be in a wheelchair. The bride refused to let her uncle and her groom's best friend to be in the wedding because "it wouldn't look good in the pictures".
How is that discrimination significantly different from your own?
If a person is close to you have them stand in your wedding. If she is not don't. Why is her dress size an issue? If she is not that close to you have her do something else, like a reading, if it is important to you to honour your godmother's request.
2007-10-05 01:06:57 · answer #7 · answered by Noota Oolah 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
and what? you're perfect? you're other attendants are that perfect? surely you aren't so vain and inconsiderate that you would deny her because she is larger than you?
don't be so judgmental and cut the girl some slack. we are supposed to be mature enough to look past the outward appearance of people.
i know a great many people who aren't size 0 or 6 or 10 or even 14! some are beautiful, some are pretty and some are plain - but you know what? none of us care, because they are still good and kind people with lots of vim and vigor!
it doesn't matter how large or how tiny she is, she will be a lovely bridesmaid!
and as for the other asinine comments about her dress costing more? if it does its only a few dollars and seeing as how most brides now-a-days make their attendants pay so what does it matter?
so what should you do? consider it your good deed and welcome her with open arms and pretend you mean it!
btw - no one has the right to be a bridezilla, in fact you should be ashamed to be known as that!
2007-10-05 01:22:11 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only have her in the wedding if you want her in it, don't take into account her weight. It's your wedding, you have the right to say no you already have picked your bridal party.
If you want her in, then you can encourage her to lose weight which I'm sure she wants to anyway. Be nice to her, she is probably very sensitive about her size.
But if you have her, you have to be prepared she may not lose weight for the wedding.
2007-10-05 01:15:26 · answer #9 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your day and so you will be the one focused on. So put the girl in the wedding. But make sure the dress and the color will look good on her figure.
2007-10-05 01:16:04 · answer #10 · answered by cheerstoyou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋