ive been dating this guy for almost 2 months. hes says it takes him about 6 months to get to 'know' someone. but we have been intimate already. he shows signs of interest when we see each other. but doesnt call that much or hardly texts and cant even make concrete plans with me because he has aa meetings almost 5-6days a week. am i just wasting my time? im not ready for a real relationship quite yet but i feel almost strung along when i dont see him. i see him about once aweek.
2007-10-04 15:27:15 · 15 answers · asked by chloë 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
GET OUT! lmao SAME EXACT thing happened to me! i was seeing this GORGEOUS guy for 6 months.. but same thing.. he never made concrete plans.. but the difference is i wouldnt put out for him cuz im really really weird about that stuff.. but he ended up stringing me a long for 6 months and then peacing out. were still friends but it was such an emotional roller coaster.. ever read that book "hes just not that into you" its really simple.. if he doesnt act interested.. hes not.. and if hes only interested when ur together.. than he just wants some
sorry hun but its brutal honestly.. weve all been there
2007-10-04 15:31:03 · answer #1 · answered by angeleyes932 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've put the cart before the horse. Why would you be "intimate" with a guy you barely know, feel strung along with and neglected by, AND you're not ready for a real relationship?
He's right though about the six months to get to know someone. Especially if you hardly spend any time with them. At the rate you two seem to be going I'd put that at more like two years.
If he's in AA and needs to go to meetings that often, he's not really supposed to be distracting himself with a serious relationship now anyway. Maybe you should go to the meetings with him.
Personally I'd stay away from someone in AA. I don't want to deal with a person who might someday lose the struggle against alcohol. Very painful.
2007-10-04 22:34:27 · answer #2 · answered by treebird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your bf is going to AA 5-6 days per week, then he is probably not emotionally capable of being in a serious relationship with you. Most recovery programs, like AA, recommend that recovering addicts not get involved in serious relationships, so he is probably following their advice. He really needs to focus on his own physical and emotional health and stability. Bottom line, you've been intimate, so you have invested more into this then you either want to admit, or realize. In my opinion, move on. Maybe leave the door open for you guys to talk when he gets more stable. The reason you feel strung along, is because you are being strung along. It's obviously a relationship of convenience for him, but this is not healthy for you. I think your heart has already told you the answer, or you wouldn't have asked this question.
2007-10-04 22:41:52 · answer #3 · answered by Choochie Larue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would be very concerned about dating this guy. It appears he has big issues if going to AA meetings is his top priority. That means he has some kind of addiction problem, and he is doing good trying to overcome it. As long as this is the case you will always be #2, if he fails and goes back to his addiction, which is, always, from now on a possibility, he will make your life miserable. He is showing you he is not ready for a full blown relationship at this time so take a serious look at yourself and what getting close to him might mean. I am sorry to put up all the negatives but you are taking a big risk so be careful when making your choices or letting yourself get more involved.
2007-10-04 22:40:06 · answer #4 · answered by K K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aren't the aa meetings enough of a sign or do I need 2 remind u that you're not ready 4 a real relationship quite yet? Listen 2 your own words. And when YOU aren't ready, u send out that signal to every man out there. Rent the DVD The Secret.
2007-10-04 22:33:49 · answer #5 · answered by whisperer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend and I have talk about the same problems....She is like you and I'm like your boyfriend I don't call my boyfriend a lot and see him once a week, It drives my boyfriend nuts that I'm not available to him as much as he would like. I reassure him he's my relationship interest and that I'm sorry but that's just how it is right now. I'm trying harder to make time.
Advise for you to get his attention : Be too busy to call him one to three days it will drive him crazy and make him wonder if he's really messed things up. Make him call you don't contact or text him. This always get my attention, then I try even harder, if he doesn't contact you then it is a waste of your time.
2007-10-04 22:51:46 · answer #6 · answered by be_wise_life2live 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's in aa than he's probably working the steps and he's not ready for a relationship yet ... for me it seems as if your getting a line ... but then again he may be reading that your not into a relationship but a "friends w/ benefits" kind of deal. to me it sounds as if you feel it's a relationship even though you say you don't want one. you need to figure out what you want and go from there.
2007-10-04 22:34:56 · answer #7 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AA meetings? Nothing against the alcoholics out there, but is this guy really worth it? You ARE being strung along, and he has more pressing things on his mind than you, obviously.
2007-10-04 22:31:13 · answer #8 · answered by Laura 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You see hiim one a week, you two know each other almost 2 months. So you only see each other total eight times. Girl, slow down, you have driven too fast..... True love needs time to know each other and build trust with each other.
2007-10-04 22:33:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all you got intimate already. I dont think he wanted anything serious. It seems like you dont want either. Dont waste your time and move on.
2007-10-04 22:31:54 · answer #10 · answered by Tony D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋