i want to get married this coming may but he wants to wait and has no real interest in the wedding i mean if i show him stuff he looks and gives his opoin but other than that nothing is this normal?
2007-10-04 14:14:17 · 26 answers · asked by Mrs T. 2009 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
he set it for may 31 2009 witch is when i grad from tech school
2007-10-04 14:20:56 · update #1
he was interested in the chuppa though and my drawing of my dress but thats it
2007-10-04 14:28:42 · update #2
Everyone who told you to talk to him is right. That's the only way to know. My husband didn't care a thing about the planning either, except for the kind of beer at the reception, and what he was wearing. My sister made a deal with her husband that she'd do all the wedding stuff, and he could plan the honeymoon. Everyone does it differently! My husband and I were engaged for almost 2 years before we got married, and it wasn't because he wasn't ready for commitment, we just didn't want to feel rushed. You only get one wedding, and all that time can be really nice to prepare for it, both mentally, getting the perfect dress, and everything else. Other people are just so excited about getting married that they want to go ahead and do it as soon as possible. I would just say, don't freak out until you talk to him. I know that's hard, but if you're going to marry him, then you HAVE to be able to talk to him! Work something out that is good for BOTH of you.
Also: My husband wanted to wait until I finished college, and so did I. We're both really glad we did. Maybe instead of focusing on what he isn't interested in, you should think about how he was with the chuppa and your dress. Best of luck.
2007-10-04 14:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by Asha in Flight 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok that makes sense. Your husband to be is practical. He wants to wait until your done with school. He still wants to marry you. Dont be discouraged be excited! Your date will be here before you know it. Not many soon to be husbands care about the planning and details. Embrace your date! Get save the date cards or magnets and send them out. Dont push it you have a date and he wants to marry you. Wedding take a long time to plan and some people stay engaged more then 3 years. Yours is less then 2 away. Get excited share in this time with your mother, aunts, sisters, friends, cousins everyone! Not a lot of guys get into this but that doesnt mean he doesnt want to marry you or isnt excited. Start making a book of dresses, possible places, guest list. This will come in handy. You have some time but once you get to the year mark you will need to have everything booked!If you know the place go book it now. They can book up three or four years ahead of time sometimes more. If you are going to get married in a church book your date with them to make sure its yours. Tell your fiance about this and asks if he wants to be involved. If not go with your family and friends. If you need any help you can contact me or visit my website at www.confettieventplan.com Good Luck and Congratulations!
2007-10-05 01:51:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That does sound a little fishy to me. May 2009 is over a year and a half away. Perhaps he really does just want to wait until you finish school - life probably will be easier if you finish your education first. Maybe he's not interested in wedding stuff because it's so far in the future.
But...I agree with the previous poster who suggested talking to him to find out if he really does plan to get married. My fiance and I dated for 3 years before becoming engaged, but we'll be married within 6 months of getting engaged. And, he's *very* involved in each step of the planning. Just talk to him.
2007-10-04 15:30:09 · answer #3 · answered by SE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me and my fiance, while we are both wanting a sooner wedding date, thought out timelines. We found 2009 to be a feasible time, he will be graduating school, i may or may not be graduated, depending on when I go back and will have time to save money for a house and the wedding. May of next year is probably too soon most places start booking one year in advance, and they fill up fast and then on top of that saving money and school and stuff. It is really best to wit until your out of school. There is less stress.
Wew ould go get married tomorrow if we could afford it and really thought it was our best interest.
2007-10-04 20:36:17 · answer #4 · answered by chattergurl1986 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Waco Princess perhaps he is not ready for marriage at the present. He may be concerned about finances, maturity, or even questioning if he really wants to be married at all. Regardless you aren't going to find out from a bunch of strangers his reasoning for not wanting to marry next year. The only way you are truly going to find out is by asking for his reasons from him. Have a good open minded conversation regarding this and you will both learn about what each other wants regarding getting married. Now is a good time to begin having these mature conversations as once your married you'll need to be able to communicate with each other for a long time so why not get in some practice prior to marriage. Best of luck and hope that your marriage whether in 2008 or 2009 is a happy and long lasting union.
2007-10-04 14:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You obviously aren't really talking together. The two of you should be on the same page about planning your life together. If you are not, then there is a problem. My thought is that he isn't really interested in being married and you probably already know this. This should be a flag for you. A man who wants to marry and is excited about his potential new wife takes part in the planning and is excited about it. He is looking forward to the day as much as the bride. If your boyfriend is not, it is not the norm so re-look at who he is and why you think you should marry him. Doesn't sound promising to me.
2007-10-04 14:23:46 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It makes sense to wait until you graduate. You'll become so busy with wedding planning as the date nears so if you have classes, studying, projects/papers and exams on top of worrying about the wedding -- it'll become a bit much. Don't get too insecure about why he wants to wait, it's a smart choice.
However, this doesn't mean you have to stop looking at magazines, websites or researching vendors. Take advantage of the time and look for sales on dresses, get creative with the wedding, ways to cut costs etc.
2007-10-04 18:43:49 · answer #7 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is saying 2009 to keep you hanging on. Maybe he isn't ready for a commitment at all. I am the type of person that believes you know when it is the right person so why would you have to wait to marry. My husband and I have been married 14 extremely happy years. We dated two weeks, moved in together. Six months later we were married. He is my soul mate and I would not have changed the way we did things for anything!
2007-10-04 14:17:41 · answer #8 · answered by copswife93 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How should we know, sweetie? Why don't you ask him?
And yes, it is normal for grooms to not be interested in the planning. You may be able to get him interested in certain aspects . . . he may want to pick the cake, or select the tuxes, or make a music list. But usually that is about it for grooms.
It is a very rare groom who is interested in all aspects of planning.
Edit: Just saw your additional details. He obviously wants you to finish school first. Sounds like a smart man. Listen to him.
2007-10-04 14:23:04 · answer #9 · answered by Suz123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of factors to this. Some guys just don't get excited about the same things women do. Another is that marrage is a big thing for guys, a lot of the time it can seem to them like they're giving up there freedom. In short, I think its normal the way he acts. He obviously loves you enough to marry you, just don't make him go fast.
2007-10-04 14:21:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋