I'm a 22-year-old college student. I go to school and work full time. I live with my sister in an apartment we share. We have been independent from our parents for about three years.
My boyfriend is 25, and also a college student. He works for his parents and still lives with them (rent-free). Here's my problem: My boyfriend's mother has absolutely forbid him from staying the night at my apartment. She threatens financially cutting him off if he does. Even if we happen to fall asleep watching tv, he wakes up around 3 or 4 and drives an hour home so that his car will be in the driveway by the time she wakes up. We've gone out with friends to bars on weekends, and he won't even drink because he has to make the drive home (I commend the no drinking and driving, it's the fact that her rules are impeding on our social life.)
Isn't it ridiculous to demand a 25 year old man to follow such rules? She says she's preventing premarital sex. I say she needs to mind her own business. Am I wrong?
2007-10-04 13:00:30 · 9 answers · asked by Jancy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I find it very odd for a mother to be so concerned with her son having premarital sex when he is over 18. Did she raise her children religiously, or did she grow up religiously? That is the only reason why I think she would try to keep your boyfriend from having sex, or at least as fervently as she is.
I'm not sure what her logic is, but it is working to her advantage, and for the time being you will just have to live with it unfortunately, because it doesn't sound like she is the type of person you would want to stand up to. At least I wouldn't, anyway. =P
2007-10-04 13:08:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He who pays the piper has the right to call the tunes. In plain English, that means that as long as his parents provide room and board, they have the right to set the rules under which that is provided. If the two of you do not like that, he can move to his own apartment (or yours) and pay all the associated bills. It may also involve that he pay for his college bills at the same time. After all, by 25, he should be out of school and on his own.
2007-10-04 21:40:01 · answer #2 · answered by MICHAEL R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to marry pronto! And if that doesn't stop his mom from giving him curfew, THEN we all know his mom is in the wrong.
Man, that is weird! I mean, I might be a little conservative - I get the no-premarital-sex part, which is fine with me - but the curfew! Your man is 25 years old! He should be free to go out as long as he wants, sleep where he wants, not go back if he chooses to. Is he the only child, or the only son in the family?
Have you tried to ask him about this? I mean, did this happen previously when he was going out with other girls before you? If this happens only now and not to the relationship he had before, that might mean something else entirely. On the other hand his mom might just be a little overprotective.
Like I mentioned before, to stop this, you two need to marry! Then the curfews should stop.
2007-10-04 20:20:25 · answer #3 · answered by jarod_jared 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he doesn't find it too odd or confining since he still lives there. If he had a problem with the rules he could find another job and move out like you've done. Her house, her rules. It's that simple.
Personally I'd be more worried about a guy who can't move away from family at 25 and what that means for any future relationship I want to have with him than with it ruining my social life.
2007-10-04 20:17:57 · answer #4 · answered by Critter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it is a little rediculous, but her house her rules. He should move out. I mean he's 25. I moved out when I was 17 and have NEVER gone back to live with my parents. His mom shouldn't be supporting him financially now either. Cut the apron strings and grow up! She needs to see him as a man and not her little boy and she will not do that until he leaves.
2007-10-04 20:21:31 · answer #5 · answered by jabentk8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly he is stuck by the her house her rules. I really think he needs to move out and get a place of his own if you want him to be able to set his own rules and guidlines. Because right now he has no choice but to follow her rules that she has set down for him.
2007-10-04 20:15:38 · answer #6 · answered by Channing W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it does sound ridiculous dat a 25 year old is being demanded 2 do things but it is his mother. no matter wat da age, ur parents will alwayz worry bout u. she just doesn't want dis sex thing 2 happen so she's being strict. ur rite dat she should mind her own business but at da same time ur wrong cuz she's da one givin ur bf a roof 2 live under and she is still his mom no matter wat. sry if im repeating myself but dis is true.
-joe boi-
2007-10-04 20:17:33 · answer #7 · answered by joe boi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Critter said it perfectly. I cannot improve upon her answer.
2007-10-04 20:38:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya your wong
2007-10-04 20:11:53 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋