My husband is a major alcholic, all we do is fight when he drinks which is all the time, i'm so sick of it and I want to leave him but he controls all the money and I have a daughter, does anyone know where I can turn? Is there someway I can get out without going on the street or having to turn tricks?
2007-10-04 12:56:50 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Okay, the suggestion of wanting to not "have to turn tricks" makes me really hope you're a troll, but here:
Look for a local Al-Anon group. It's a support group for families and friends of alcoholics. Some places actually have groups specifically for children and adolescents, and it could help your daughter, as well as you.
If there are several people in your husband's life who are aware of his alcoholism and who feel strongly about wanting him to stop, speak with a counselor (someone at Al-Anon should be able to direct you to the right person) about staging an intervention. ANYONE whose life is affected by his alcoholism should participate, including your daughter.
If you just don't feel you can stick it out (not judging in the least), there are places and people you can turn to for help.
If he controls the money to the point where you don't feel you could leave if you want to (he gives you a meager or no allowance at all, etc.), that's a form of abuse, and there is help out there for YOU. I would suggest talking to a clergy member, if you know one you like and trust, or to the counselors you can find through Al-Anon. I live in a pretty small town, and there are agencies here for women who need to leave a destructive, dangerous and/or abusive situation, and they offer things like counseling, but also shelter, food, clothing, job training, life skills training, and help finding a job.
Because of the nature of the beast, my guess is that the counselors and support group members would be able to direct you to whoever you need to talk to to find out about all this.
I hope everything works out okay.
2007-10-04 16:03:37 · answer #1 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to have a plan.....if this is physical fighting you have to get out immediately; if fighting means arguing, then you need to remove yourself from the argument when he is drunk. Start saving money, either get a job or don't spend all the grocery money he gives you...one way or another you have to save enough money to get you and your daughter out of there....why would your only option be prostitution, that is an odd thing to even say.....get a job like the rest of us.
2007-10-04 13:19:32 · answer #2 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can find help at a local women's shelter or from the Salvation Army or AL-ANON. Perhaps you have a family member you and your child could stay with while you find work and child care. An alcoholic is not husband material. Protect yourself and your daughter.
2007-10-04 16:00:12 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No he is not a functioning Alcoholic..He is showing very much alcoholic behavior. Why would you want to have him see his child and endanger the child. You need counseling and your child need his dad, but not while he is drinking That child will inherit his dad personality and dysfunction moves into a 2nd generation.Tell Dad to go to tx and to Alcoholic meetings.If he wants to see his child tell him that as long as he keeps disappointing the child don't call you.This is what is Tough Love not easy but very effective.The child is the one suffering.
2016-05-21 01:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by francis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry your going through this... I'm having my share of experiences with this, we just got into an argument over his drinking. I just came to the computer to settle down and found your question.
I think you have to have a plan and get a job. Something part-time sounds right. The biggest thing for me is feeling stuck, the feeling of having no choices and yet WE make our own decisions. If you want it to happen, MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!!
2007-10-04 13:39:13 · answer #5 · answered by Lyla 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had that problem years ago, I got a part time job , saved money and left him, but if you cant work outside the home try babysitting, the tick to saving is spending a little so they dont know about your stash
2007-10-04 13:06:02 · answer #6 · answered by colbydog43 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Try the salvation Army they have hostels in all the major cities in the world
2007-10-04 13:12:51 · answer #7 · answered by AussieLady 58 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
911
2007-10-04 13:04:40 · answer #8 · answered by dadw5boys 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Turn to a divorce attorney. Anyone who has a substance abuse problem and is abusive is not fit to be a husband.
2007-10-04 13:22:46 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you can not talk to him about it, talk to his family.
He needs help. If you still want to leave, do you have family that can assist you?
2007-10-04 13:04:43 · answer #10 · answered by Lissa 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋