Not only does my mother-in-law buy/spend way too much for my kids for Christmas and their birthdays, but gives them presents all the time throughout the year. Every time we see her we're coming home with a bag of toys (she lives in town and sees the kids 2-3 times a month). I dread the holidays and the kids' birthdays because they are all one month apart, and I have way to many new things to find a place for.
My mother-in-law is not rich, and has actually put their family in thousands of dollars worth of debt multiple times with her uncontrolable spending.
She probably spends twice as much on the kids as we do for the holidays, and WAY more than my parents who are very poor.
I think I may be able to put up with it if half of the presents were clothes, but they are not. The kids are in need of clothes throughout the year, and she never asks about what they need.
Is it wrong to put a limit on her spending for the holidays and such?
2007-10-04 10:08:35 · 9 answers · asked by megansmom112902 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Not at all!
I think phrasing it nicely to her will be hard though. Maybe you could say something like "We REALLY appreciate your genorosity, but we're afraid the kids are becoming too focused on material things and we were hoping you could cut down on the gifts a bit". That way, you aren't "blaming" her for buying them things, just using a non-confrontational way to tell her to cut back. Or, you could say something like, "This year, we're trying to focus more on the things the kids need instead of the things the kids want. We're running out of room to store all their toys, but they could really use some new school clothes". Just some ideas.... Good luck!
2007-10-04 10:48:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How does your husband feel about this? Because this is his mom he's going to have to be on the same page as you for any limit to work. Then you two have to decide what kind of limit you're going to impose and how you're going to word it to her. Do you want a money limit (no more than $30 per child) or a number limit (3 gifts per child or 1 toy and 4 clothes)...
On the flip side she may not be willing (or able) to change. If she still insists on getting the kids too much you can attack this from the other end. Rather then fitting everything in have clearing parties before birthdays and holidays to get rid of broken toys and pass things out grown on to other kids. Or after the holidays let them choose one toy to give away for each new one they received.
2007-10-04 13:34:46 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Figure out what bothers you most, what she buys them or how much and how often.? What values do you want to instill in your children? Christmas, birthdays are not just about a gift. In a nice way you can tell your mother in law that you know she loves her grandchildren and she is very generous. Too generous and you would appreciate if she could not bring them so many toys they need clothes and also you do not want them to get use to every time she walks in the door she have a gift. You would like them to appreciate the gifts not expect a gift.
2007-10-05 02:41:48 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Accept one gift.
Do Not allow the children to open any more, then take the rest of the toys back to the store and replace them with clothing, with or without her presence or knowledge.
Ask her if she would accompany you to the stores to exchange the toys for something more appropriate or needed.
2007-10-04 10:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by AussieLady 58 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give her a list of things the kids need and then one or two things the kids want on top of it, and tell her to limit her spending to $X amount.
2007-10-04 10:41:05 · answer #5 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the kids need clothes, they have way to many toys and if they get anymore, you will donate them to kids who have nothing. And those clothes that they need, a couple of outfits will do it so don't go overboard.
2007-10-04 10:15:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
purchase her a handbag, fragrance, physique creams, Vic. secrets and strategies present Card and circulate away it by myself If teenagers are waiting for present~~and that they don't receive they'll ultimately decide Grandmas situation teenagers are not stupid
2016-10-06 02:48:25 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't mean any harm, but it may seem that you are a little jealous.
maybe you could tell her what they need in a nice way. or sell the toys and buy the kids things they need.
2007-10-04 10:14:14 · answer #8 · answered by Hopethishelps! 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
noy wrong at all. my dad always gives cash. lots of cash. a few years ago, i asked him to lessen the amount he gave my kids b/c they were starting to expect it and weren't very grateful for it. my dad agreed and we haven't had a problem.
2007-10-04 10:51:58 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋