a few months before my dad died he told me when my mom found out she was pregnant he wanted her to have a abortion. He said that secret had been eating at him and he want to tell me so he could apologize. I was 15 at the time. i told him it was ok and i wasnt mad about it. But for some reason it has always stuck with me since he told me in 1995. my parents split in 89, from 89-95 my dad stuggled with alcohal abuse and being homeless. His family had told me that towards the end of his life he was diagnosed with being schizophrenic. So i dont know if it what he told me was true or the sickness. I'm just scared how she'll react. When i went to visit his side of the family a yr ago they told me a secret about his dad, i told my mom and she blow her top. she was so mad. cause my dad had told her the secret when they 1st got married but he never wanted us kids to know about it. So im scared she'll get even more pissed off cause it actually has to do with me. Geez family secrets huh!?!?
2007-10-04 09:09:19 · 11 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i dont want to tell my mom just to see what she says. i want to tell her to see if it was true or if it was his illness.
2007-10-04 09:15:49 · update #1
No point in bringing up old family secrets. The situation isn't even the point anymore. The sin was more towards you and he has made amends in regards to that. Take it to your own grave.
2007-10-04 09:13:27 · answer #1 · answered by BGIL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If no one has told you before then, then no one should hear it now.
Clearly if it is true, the issue was worked out or you wouldn't be here now. Your dad had a lot of problems in his life, and your mom is probably in some small way still dealing with them. Don't drudge up old griefs for her. Secrets in most cases are meant to be just that-- secrets.
Your dad told you because he always felt somehow that he had done wrong by you and he wanted to sort things out before he died. The way it sounds he may never have even told your mother that-- it was just a scared kid's reaction at the time.
Take the words from your father as what they were intended-- a way to resolve his relationship with you and make amends... and leave it at that.
2007-10-04 09:25:04 · answer #2 · answered by LJG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to tell her? Is it because you want to know if it is true or not? Maybe they did discuss having an abortion. The thing is, your mother chose life, and here you are.
If this is really really nagging you to the point you have to talk to her, do it gently. Tell her you don't want to make her mad. You just need some closure. Otherwise, if it is a secret that can remain a secret, don't tell her.
This happened 18 years ago. Sometimes it is best not to open up old wounds. Like I said, you are here now, and that's really all that matters in the end, isn't it?
2007-10-04 09:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by Completely Anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad wanted my mom to have an abortion when she was pregnant with me. My mom also told me she almost didnt show up to her own wedding because she knew it wasnt right, but she did it anyway, becasue she didnt want to let all the guests and her family down. (and she was right...my parents are divorced now) But what im saying is all families have secrets and you should just keep them what they are secrets. There is no need to tell your mother.
2007-10-04 09:14:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let it be. The old man is gone now anyway, so what's the point of opening the wound? I don't see the point in any of these 'secrets'. My advice, is for you to just let it go.
2007-10-04 09:14:17 · answer #5 · answered by Hanna 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie you need to think more about yourself and your well being. Seems like you have gone through enough in your life so far. Let it go and live your own life. Dont dwell on others actions.
2007-10-04 09:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by Islander 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he loved you at least. I mean he could have said he still wanted you aborted. He isn't the only man out there with a kid they wanted aborted.
2007-10-04 09:15:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats, why they call them SECRETS, (It was cruel of your dad to say that anyway).. But why did you repeat it!! Does this show that you are un-trustworthy-------lets think for a sec----- YUP, I'll never tell ya a secret!!!
2007-10-04 14:47:18 · answer #8 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see what good telling your Mom could do. All it would do is upset and confuse her. I am sorry you had to hear it. Chalk it up to a sick, confused old man and bury it with him.
2007-10-04 09:30:43 · answer #9 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What your dad told you was between you and him. There's no reason to mention it to your mother.
2007-10-04 09:18:21 · answer #10 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋