Dealing with anxiety and depression... Should I tell my profesors?

Question

My attendance and academic performance has been atrocious so far this semester, and it's all because I am struggling with severe anxiety and depression. I feel so ashamed and nervous about telling my professors because I am afraid that they won't be understanding. What should I do? I've missed weeks of class.

Little bear, I totally understand. Wow, your situation is heart-breaking. I have been seeing a counselor and doctor, and they have encouraged me to talk to my professors but I don't feel comfortable talking to them. I will mention the reason for my absence, because I think they ought to know and in the meantime I will just do my best, even if I make straight C's. At least I tried.

Answer 1

I agree with other anwerers, the professors are not the ones to talk to. Go to the Counseling Center. Or, see if there are other groups or organizations on campus to help with your problems. They may also be able to intervene with your professors to help you in your classes.

Only talk to your professors to get help on doing better in their specific class, not about your anxiety/depression problems. Professors and instructors often have people come to them with sob stories as excuses for their class performance. Most professors will not help you other than send you to the Counseling Center. It isn't that they are insensitive, it is just they they have heard it all before, many, many times.

Answer 2

I've had this problem and did this many times. The counseling center on my campus (which was free) helped alot. Get over to your student counseling center and get set up to see their counselors. Then, you can either make an appointment with all your profs or write a letter to each. It probably won't help your grades and you might have to drop out of a few classes, but you'd be surprised at how many profs had the exact same problems as undergraduates. They are very understanding and you aren't the first person to come to them with this problem.

Because I had to drop classes, it affected my financial aid. If you have fin. aid and you have to drop below full time, write a petition letter to your financial aid office (you can call them or go over there and they will tell you what to do). The financial aid office has a committee that meets to determine if your petition has merit and if they determine that it does, they will allow you to continue getting aid.

I finally graduated from college in '05. It took me a long time and it was a journey, but I did it. If I can be of any help, please email me. :)

Good luck! :)

Answer 3

Dealing with things like depression and family the same time can be difficult. However, most therapists are, at the very least, going to charge a sitting fee. Beyond that, you may also be given prescriptions that aren't free/cheap. Sometimes keeping things like depression between yourself and a professional isn't such a bad idea, it depends on your situation. Don't feel bs when the inevitable do-gooder tells you that's not the case. Listen to your gut and your therapist. That is, unless you can't afford treatment alone. In that case, you owe to yourself and your mom to let her know enough that she can help you get treatment.

Answer 4

Two people you need to see first.
1) your therapist or psychiatrist -- to get guidance and a Dr's note to allow for modification or accomodation to allow your participation and completion of the coursework.

2) get to the school counseling office and see your adviser. It may or may not be too late in the semester for you to be able to successfully catch-up. But, they can work with you and the Prof to see that accommodations are made.

**It would have been better if you had started out the semester with the necessary accommodations, better for your chance of success as well as student-prof relations.

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel. I did the same thing last semester and I never told my professors anything, but I wished I had. They can be really understanding about it. Give it a try. I actually did tell one teacher and she was really understanding. I actually had a panic attack in her class...horrible. Try to push through it.

Answer 6

Your professors are probably not the ones to talk with as they can't adjust your grades. You should talk with your adviser. He/she will advise you as to what your next move should be. Meanwhile, start thinking about seeking professional help. You don't want to spend the rest of your life battling this problem. There are solutions.

Answer 7

It is very difficult to do BUT it may be necessary...... I didn't want to my employer last year either... but when it got so bad I had no choice but to tell them & they were REMARKBLY kind... sensitive & caring about the issue & I was able to get the necessary time off to RECTIFY the matter thus ALL parties were happy cause I was back to doing my job to the best of my ability.... it is hard to do this BUT it may end up being your ONLY real option.... hope this helps and goodluckl

Answer 8

I would withdraw from college until you can pull yourself together.
Upon your return, explain your absence to those that need to know. Not all of your professors need to know, and, knowing college professors, more than half of them wouldn't care if you were dying.

Answer 9

Wow, you have the same problem I have (you can see my many posts of feeling beytrayed by this one prof). The problem with telling with your professors is that you have know you can trust them bc not all of them are compassionate. I made a mistake on an advice of a counsellor in trusting a prof with my problems and he ended up calling the police on me and causing trauma for me and my family and now my condition is now worse than it was before the incident. I never do his assignments and or attend his classes.

However, I do trust one good prof but he's is my former prof and he cannot really help me other than give me kind words when I needed it. Telling your current profs you barely know, you cannot get much sympathy as they cannot give special leniency just bc you feel depressed and haven't showed up. They generally stick to a general rule where they have to consider whether it would be fair to all the rest of their students who have attended school and done the work.

Your only option you really have would be to see your dr on campus but you need to build a relationship with them in order for them to believe that you are depressed and not just trying to make excuses. I've been seein this one dr and he has helped me two times when I have been so depressed that I could not study for tests. You need a dr's note for the prof to accept that you missed a test and drs do not give sick notes to students for common colds or students they have never treated.

Don't let this skipping classes continue (although I am hypocrite bc that's what I've been doing). My dr has seriously advised me that the best course of action if I don't straighten up and show up for class, do assignments and pass their exams, would be to take a medical leave of absence. I don't want to. I just want to get better. However, he has warned me that if I continue this way, I risk being barred from school totallly if I can't keep up with my courses and fail.

Telling your profs are not a solution bc they cannot help you with your anxiety/depression and they have no power to help you bc they have to treat all students the same. The only thing they can really do is offer kind words if they are nice people but they will still have to fail or give you a low grade if your performance is low.

Also beware, that some profs are mean and may not even care to give you any kind words.

The only things most Profs can do is defer missed test if you have a documentation like a drs's notes but you must been seen by physician either before/during your sickness and NOT after the test. It is not see easy to get a dr's note for depression unless the dr has been seeing you on regular basis and can vouch for your illness.

Anxiety/depression is harder to treat than a physical ailment bc everyone is different. Even though I am on meds, it cannot cure my anxiety/anger towards my Prof who betrayed my trust and has made me bedridden and unable to shower and stop crying about the incident, unable to show up for classes or complete assignments or past tests. I don't trust my counsellor bc she is the one who advised me to talk to my concerns with my prof not knowing he was a jerk.

Life is really unfair and unforgiving. However my dr is the only one that can give the best advice by telling me the reality of the situation if I don't shape up, I could be barred from school if I fail my courses, even though I may not like to hear it. He is at least has been realistic in telling what my options are if I do this or that unlike the counsellor who thought that my prof would be compassionate.

Anxiety/depression is very complex. Some people are stronger than others and but other's can't cope regardless of meds/counselling and it takes time to heal. Unfortunately sometimes, you can't have it all (get treatment that works and stay in school). That's why my dr's only option for me is to take a medical leave of absence so that I don't risk being barred from school.

You need to look at your situation realistically. Go see your campus dr and get the meds you need. If the meds and counselling work for you and help you progress in school, then you are the lucky ones that can stay in school while receiving the necessary help for anxiety/depression.

I want to be stronger and overcome this but I can't stop feeling sorry for myself and being angry at my Prof who betrayed my confidence in him. The pressure is on me to get my act together but I don't have the will power to make it work. Unfortunately when somebody hurts me, I lose more trust, self-esteem and motivation for anything. No meds can help me with that and counsellors have not been able to give coping skills that work for me.

Please don't mess up your life by not going to see the dr. If you can't trust the profs, don't bother telling them bc most don't understand and will think you're trying to be deceitful to get leniency. They might say it's your fault for not showing for classes. Truthful some are cold. I've only found one kind Prof who can offer me kind words of support but I can't help me if I fail.

Do yourself a favour: Go see dr on your campus for support and meds/counselling. Either force yourself to show up for those classes, study hard and keep trying so hard.

Otherwise, if it doesn't work, and the dr advises you take a leave of absense while you see medical attention, do so. Anxiety/depression for some people can take too much time for you able to cope with school at the same time. I mean you can't extend those test/assignments so easily bc Profs want to be fair to everyone otherwise they feel you shouldn't be in school if they have to give you too much special treatment.

I'm sorry for this long answer. I am just telling you the facts so you won't be so naive and reduce your options. Be wise. I don't know if you're sensitive as I am or whether you care if you get barred from school. Life is not fair and really harsh towards people like us. Most people in my life frown on anxiety/depression and they don't understand. Don't limit your options. Contact all the depts and ask them what if you did this or that. Try to keep your options as open as possible
I speak from experience. I don't have all the answers but I am always willing to give a straightforward answer to somebody who needs it. Ignoring the problem will reduce your options. I empathize with you bc I am in similiar circumstances. Feel free to ask me advice on anything concerning school and what your options are. I've been pretty down. I did joint a anxiety support group. It was kind of helpful until they kicked me bc the moderator said I used words that not permitted. The rejection really hurt that I am not going to join anyone any time soon. However, you can join one and give it a try. They are suppose to support each other who have suffered like us but the moderators kicked me out bc they had rules I didn't know about. Just read their rules and try not to get kicked bc I really did get encouraging words from people who suffered much worse than me. I was deeply rejected and apologetic but the moderators kicked me out anyways. I am sure there are other anonymous support groups out there but that rejection hurt me as I never meant to break rules.