I'll try to sum this up as easy as possible:
My father has never really been in my life or brother and sisters..until my mom started inviting to family events and holidays. Overall..I basically don't know him. Then all of a sudden for my sisters birthday this year he bought her a 2007 mercedes benz. He said exactly this "this is for ALL THE MISSED BIRTHDAYS". That was in January. My other sisters birthday was in May and he said he wasn't going to give her anything. The thing is is that my father works for my sister. She owns a military store and he will work there when she doesn't have anyone else to work. And to keep him happy she invites him over for dinners and drinks. So the mercedes was kind of like a payback for all that (that is what my brother told all of us since he worked for him)...well that would be fine but he said the benz was for all missed birthdays so my sister and I believe he now owes us something...hold on I gotta write more..
2007-10-04 08:30:16 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
...my brother has gotten money "favors" from him in the past so he wasn't worried about his birthday..anyways my sister (the second one) got $5000 for her birthday. My birthday is Saturday and my brother already says (since he talks to him the most) that he is 90% sure I will not be getting any lump sum. I don't think this is fair at all. I would have never asked money from my father ever!!! But he got my oldest sister a MERCEDES for crying out loud...they don't even need that kind of car...they're well off...my dad has said to us in the past that if he could do it over again he would not have kids...he says he doesn't know how to be a father....so he buys peoples love. Well what should I do...I don't know if this is enough information.
2007-10-04 08:33:37 · update #1
Oh the sister that got $5000..got it because she threatened him that he couldn't come to anymore family functions...etc...the arguement between him and her lasted for months...and he finally caved in and gave her monthly payments of 1000 for 5 months. He only did it so he could go to family functions...oh but believe me he doesn't want to come because he wants to see us...it's because of a free dinner and drinks..that is all...he is a very crappy father..believe me there are things about him that I could never write on here.
2007-10-04 08:37:07 · update #2
My brother has to remind him EVERY year when my birthday is!
2007-10-04 08:51:18 · update #3
Wow! Your father really doesn't have a clue as to how to be a parent. If I were you, I'd assume that I wasn't going to get anything special for my birthday. Then you won't be disappointed if you get nothing and you'll be pleasantly surprised if he gives you something. Also, don't assume that he owes you and your sister anything. You'll only be setting yourself up for disappointment. A Mercedes does not make up for ignoring his children for their entire childhood. In fact, nothing can make up for that.
2007-10-04 08:43:20 · answer #1 · answered by mollyflan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your dad is just buying the love of your siblings.
I always consider it a red flag in the relationship, no matter how dysfunctional it is, when family members expect money or expensive gives from other family members. Don't be like that. If he gives you nothing, he gives you nothing. In fact, if he does try to give you some big gift, give it back to him and tell him that it is a little too late and that he may be able to buy your siblings off but he isn't buying you off.
If I were you, I'd start knocking some sense into the siblings too. I can just see what will happen down the road when you all start arguing over inheritance money from your father if you don't take the steps now to stop the "gimme gimme gimme" attitude.
2007-10-04 16:26:15 · answer #2 · answered by Completely Anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is expect nothing from your father. He says he's a bad parent so be happy if he does remember to get you something. Do you really need any of his gifts? You should be content and happy with your life no matter what this man does for you. I know that it seems not fair as your siblings received expensive gifts, but you have to move on and not let your dad dictate your own happiness. Do not let his lack of thoughtfulness cause you undo stress you are a better person then that.
2007-10-04 15:46:33 · answer #3 · answered by Queenie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are expecting something huge from your father, you may be setting yourself up for a big let down... when we have expectations of others, it's really not healthy.
Your situation is common -- lots of fathers haven't a clue (mothers too) how to be a good and caring parent.
So, instead of worrying about what your father can do for you, worry about what you can do in your own life to improve and to be happy. Stay productive, make goals and plans.
And don't depend on others to fulfill your financial needs...
take care
2007-10-04 15:59:22 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TO EXPECT ANYTHING FROM HIM IS NOT THE WAY TO GO, JUST LET HIM DO WHAT HE DOES BEST....BUY AFFECTION....HIS EXCUSE IS '' I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A FATHER?'' WHAT A COP- OUT!! I HAVE 4 CHILDEREN AND I HAD NO MANUAL TO TEACH ME TO BE A FATHER!!...TO BE A FATHER YOU NEED TO BE IN YOUR CHILDERENS LIFE...NOT PAY FOR EVERYTHING THEY WANT...BEING THERE AND TEACHING THEM RIGHT FROM WRONG AND BY SHOWING THAT THROUGH OBSERVATION...KIDS LEARN FROM THERE PARENTS.
LEAD BY EXAMPLE.
LET IT RIDE.
2007-10-04 15:45:47 · answer #5 · answered by transvainia 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
call him up & invite him on your B-day
2007-10-04 15:40:08 · answer #6 · answered by maya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋