I'm 17, she's 24. When she was 14, she made mistakes, joined bad crowds, lied, was mean to me. Our parents ended up giving her a harsh punishment, though she apologized and promised to change. She got devastated because they said she had lost their trust and their trust was very important to her. I remember this broke her spirit, she suffred a lot but my parents were firm and it took months for them to trust her again. She changed, ended up being a great sister, made our parents proud but never made up w/ them, even today she thinks they were cruel, unforgiving, broke her spirit, didn't act as loving parents. Their attempts to make up with her didn't work. Today she's graduated, has a good job, still a great sister but hasn't talked with our parents for more than 2 years. She's about to get married and her in laws love her. Unfortunately mom is dying and wants to see her but she refuses, says it'll be kinda painful for both. I begged but she refused, see no point in this.
2007-10-04 08:01:24 · 8 answers · asked by Sonia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
agree my parents were too harsh on her and see her poit, but they thought they love her and to mom it'll be teriible to die without making up with her
2007-10-04 08:04:15 · update #1
I guess i would tell her that she thinks this way right now because she is young but when she gets older and has to tell her kids what she did they will think of her in the same why she thinks of your Mom know. Tell her to go and talk to your mom and to do it for her kids that one day will tell her that she is cruel not to talk to her dying mother. Two cruel acts don't' make it right. Tell her to try to think with a mind of an Older person and to see things threw her children's eyes... Would her kids admire her for not going or for going?
2007-10-04 08:22:20 · answer #1 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your father and mom did a great interest.... Being a parent skill doing what's nice and not what's known... look on the outcomes.. Your sister is prospering.... those are the sacrifices we make for our toddlers and as quickly as your sister has infants she would start to appreciate.... Too undesirable for her that it will probable be too previous due and he or she would be in a position to would desire to stay with the guilt.... some human beings are too blinded via satisfaction to have the adulthood it takes to head previous specific problems... with a bit of luck your sister will boost up and be waiting to place this in the back of her.... yet that's no longer your burden you probably did your ultimate...
2016-12-28 14:42:36 · answer #2 · answered by batalla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry your family has endured so much. Tell your sister that living with regret is a terrible thing. And sometimes you really have to leave the past behind. Tell her to look at her life right now. Ask her how she thinks she would've turned out if your parents hadn't have been hard on her? Where would she be instead?
2007-10-04 08:18:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force your sister to meet with your mom. Sounds like you have done everything you can to encourage it. In the end, it will be your sister who will regret it the most, but maybe not even until she has her own children. Focus your emotional energy on being strong for your mom, and help her through this final transition. Assure your mom that you know her other daughter does love her, even though she is stubborn.
2007-10-04 08:08:48 · answer #4 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry.....that's rough..!
You know though, it's your SISTER'S decision to make!
Give it a break, it sounds like she's been hurt VERY BADLY(!); SHE will do what is right for HER. (And she sounds to be a very 'stubborn' person; I'd imagine that the 'more you push her', 'the more she'll refuse'......!)
(.......And hey, you don't want her getting 'ticked' with you -could be a loooong while before seeing her again!) THIS is a time in your lives that you'll be NEEDING each other more than ever! 'Differences of opinion' and all, she's your sister...-and she always will be...!
I hope you all find your 'peace'!
2007-10-04 08:23:46 · answer #5 · answered by Sanity Assassin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your mom. I would tell your sister than if she doesn't see her mother, she's going to regret it the rest of her life. One day she will wake up miserable because she never got to say goodbye. If she still refuses, then you have done all you can.
2007-10-04 08:05:59 · answer #6 · answered by CC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister doesn't want to see your mother for her own, good reasons. It's about self-preservation. and perhaps she has a bit of post traumatic stress from everything she went through with your parents. it's not uncommon.
bringing up old ghosts and demons isn't healthy for everyone, and not all of us can handle such situations. seeing your mother might be very harmful and "unsafe" for your sister.
let it alone.
2007-10-04 08:08:30 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seeing her mother is as much for her as the mother. She needs closure to the pain. It is her last chance to say what she thinks or to try to somehow heal what is between them. It is a moment you will never get back once she is gone.
If not for her mother, for herself.
2007-10-04 08:06:16 · answer #8 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋