how to get respect from teenage step-daughter man-over-board?

Answer 1

respect or approval?
(im a stepdaughter myself)
if youre looking for respect, when you make rules, follow through with them. maybe have a talk with her one on one telling her how you feel and ask her what would make her respect you

if youre looking for approval, make her think youre not that bad. tell her some of the cool things youve done. maybe if you know shes doen something wrong, tell her you know, but tell her you wont tell her mom this time. maybe buy her tickets to her faveorite band.

hope this helps. =]

Answer 2

Being a step-dad is the hardest gig in the world. I married an awesome lady with 3 daughters. The only time we fight is over our kids. I survived and so will you....here are some real answers.
1. You will never replace their real father. No matter how sorry the bio dad is. So don't try. Don't degrade him or promote yourself. You will always be that other guy that is married to their mother. Know your place. This way you will not get hurt later, because during all important events it will be ma, daughter and bio-dad. It sucks but it is the truth.

2. Blood is thicker than water. In any discussion or fuss you and your wife has the daughter will always take the mother's side. Stay out of all mother and daughter fusses....agree with the mother even if you think she is wrong....never let the child see you and ma aren't on the same page.
3. Treat mother like a princess. Put ego away...and have all discussion away from her ears...she will play you both against each other to get her way and will use anything to gain leverage.
4. Do right....you cannot expect respect. You have to earn it by showing it..

Good luck

Answer 3

Hi.. this seems to be a common problem.. step parents wanting all sorts of respect from kids who barely know them, and who have already been traumatized by their parents' divorces...

first please realize that you are THE ENEMY.. in a child's eyes, you are trying to take away their mom. the divorce wasn't bad enough, now here YOU come. most kids would prefer their parents reunited, which doesn't usually happen.

i think one good thing to do is reinforce the fact that the mom and teenaged daughter have their own, loving relationship... maybe say something like "hey, you girls really ought to go out and spend time together -- here's $20, go have a nice lunch"... or you could just suggest they go do something together and have a good time.

you could also let the teenage step daughter know that you realize all she's been through in her life has probably been a struggle -- with the parents' divorce and readjusting to her mom's marriage. let her know you are trying to understand, and if she ever wants to talk, you'll listen. she may resent it at first, but she will roll it around in her head and think about it from time to time.... and be sincere!

trust and respect take time to develop. do NOT discipline her either... in fact, have a talk with her mother about discipline.. SHE is the parent, you're the step dad.. that doesn't mean the step daughter can walk all over you, but if something happens while you are home, let mom deal with it... and DO talk with your wife about this subject... it's important...

of course, if the daughter is left with you and mom's not home, you are going to be the adult in the home... can't be helped.

i hope this is a bit of help? try not to force the girl... just take your time. she's been through quite a lot in her life, i'm sure. she needs compassion and care.. even if she's acting like a brat now... hugs

Answer 4

depends on why she disrespects you
How do you treat her mother, honestly?
Are there other kids in the house that get more attention
She thinks you are taking her mom away from her, you really need to sit and talk to her and find out what is really wrong, she is bitchy for a reason and you need to find out what the reason is