Fine I confess...turns out I am 4 weeks pregnant?

Question

I know I have a lot of flamers here and a lot of haters that have been reading up on every pessimistic question I've asked on here, but I'll tell you why I'm a bit resentful and obsessing on the pregnancy thing so much lately. I took a pregnancy test today and as suspected for the last couple days, I'm pregnant.

I know who the father is, because I haven't been with anyone since that one occurence almost a month ago or for 3 months before that. The guy is a good guy friend of mine that I somewhat coerced when we were drinking together at a party a month ago.

So now all my hypothetical "abortion" and "raising kid" questions aren't hypothetical anymore. Go ahead, flame me. You'll probably tell me to get an abortion & that I have "issues" which would interfere w/ raising a kid. But you also know that I'm against abortion. I want to raise this kid, & to prove to everyone that I can. What do you think of this idea? Do you think I'd do well with it?

Did I say 3 months? Whoops, that was a typo. I meant to write 13. So there's no doubt who the father is. He's not a boyfriend, but a friend that I've known for a few yrs. He's one of the people that urged me to consider abortion a yr ago during my "scare," but then months later I exploded and told him off about it and he said that he thought he was making the best, practical judgment of me at the time but also realized that maybe his judgment was wrong.

Anyway, I am sorry that I sounded so harsh and bitter and "messed up" before. Everyone here probably thinks I'm this psychopath. Yes I was neglected in the past when I was in dire need, and that obviously has had a lasting effect on me today. I was just worried that's all. I haven't told anyone yet because quite frankly, I'm worried that they might pull the same crap that they did a year ago. This time though, they might throw a few words like "whacked" or "psychob*tch" in the mix though, since I've started standing my ground more now than I did before. It was only 3 days ago that someone made a snide joke about how I wouldn't be able to have a kid. So that's why I've been so bitter. I don't want this pro-abortion nightmare repeated again.

Jen, I appreciate your thoughtful response, but please let me reclarify:

- I'm 24 yrs old, not a a teen.
- As far as college goes, Been There Done That. I hold a Bachelor's degree.
- I have a decent job. Thing is, I work 3 jobs to get by and have extra savings + money to pay down student loans with.
- Most of my ex-bfs already have kids of their own.
- I wrote in previous questions on this site, that I do not party or do drugs. I'm more concerned w/ further establishing myself, repairing my credit(I fixed it a lot in the last 2 yrs), etc.
- I've been financially independent for a few yrs now. My family disowned me after college & I was left homeless & without a job(it's a tough job market for new graduates, despite trying really hard). I worked really hard to move up in the world and I did this in a relatively short period of time.

Mary N: You said "once is understandable, twice is stupid." When did I make a "mistake" the 1st time? The "1st time" turned out to be a pregnancy scare. I'd intended on raising the kid(if it had existed), & nearly everyone told me to get an abortion instead even though they knew I was opposed to it. Nothing came of it because it turned out to just be a scare. So I didn't make a "mistake" first time, if anything I was doing the right thing. But if you think that intending to raise a kid was a "mistake," then that says a lot about how capable people find me(not).

Answer 1

Guess who sugar britches!! ITs me again the one you dislike so much!!

Im going to tell you this for your own good as I did in the other question I responded to. Please get some help. You are very bitter and its not good to hold so much anger about your past in you have to move on in life. As I said before you can either live in your past or allow yourself to move into the present.

As for this baby you are pregnant with. I will not tell you one way or another to keep it or abort it thats a personal choice one I never had to and will never have to make.

Stop caring what other people think if you want to have this child then prove them all wrong. What is it that you do *now* that makes everyone think you would not be a good parent? Has to be something, when you figure it out fix it. Take parenting classes BEFORE you have the baby and please get rid of your anger. But do not have the baby just because you "can" or so you can prove your friends wrong. Have a baby because in your heart you want a child and do not want to live without the child. Being a parent is a huge responsibilty you cant be a mom one minute and party the next (atleast you shouldnt) having the child and chosing to keep it just because you do not want an abortion is also not the right reason. Think about this long and hard maybe adoption is best?

A few months ago my best friends' sister had a baby. She was as we were growing up a party animal. Into drinking, smoking and yes sadly drugs (though I dont know what kind) she would stay out days at a time without anyone knowing where she was. When she decided to have a child she stopped drinking and smoking (had been yrs since she did drugs) and stopped being childish. And by childish I mean she stopped wanting to be center of attention she stopped being all about "me" and guess what she's a great mother! People didnt think she would be but she is, now prove your friends wrong you do not need their permission to have a baby what you need is to love yourself enough to move on

And I know your waiting for a PS

P.S. A REAL friend doesnt make snide rude comments about you regardless of if its to your face, behind your back or jokeingly

Answer 2

Well, it looks like you have already made the decision to become a mother although you sound like it is for the wrong reason. Do you really want a child because you have that much love in your heart that you want to care for, and nurture another human being for the rest of your life. Or did you do this just to prove everyone else wrong. Becoming a good mother is the hardest job you will ever do. It requires total dedication and commitment 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It isn't about you anymore, it is about what is good for that helpless baby who you are bringing into the world. Parenthood is an awesome responsibility and ideally you should not have gotten pregnant under the circumstances you outlined. Do you know if this guy had children in mind at all?
At any rate the baby is now a reality and every child deserves to be the most wanted and cherished child that could be. If you are prepared to live up to that and put your own needs aside then you must make that happen. If you are not, then give this kid the very best adoptive family that can be found. Just don't make this same mistake twice. Once is understandable. More than that is unforgiveably stupid.

Answer 3

I don't know you or anything about your past comments. So here is just one girls opinion on the matter.

Bringing a baby in this world to prove you can is wrong, because if it turns out you can't not only are you the loser but is the child.

On the abortion thing, I don't know your plans for the future, your goals and dreams, you finanicail stability or the like but I do know that abortion is a choice you do have and it is a right you should exercise if YOU feel compelled to do so.

Me personally I don't think that it would matter if I was pro or against abortion if I was hit with the reality of pregnancy. The only thing that would matter to me is do I want this? Do I want this? Can I do this? And the like, and I know I will be getting extreme flames on this but in the end to me, its about you.

I don't know you age, your economic status, your religion or you views but to me it seems that you must do what is best for you.

In terms of the baby, I am SURE you CAN do it, but that is not the question, the question is are you READY to do this.

Their are many options, look into them all, There is much support out there as well. I will hope the best for you. But Take heart, you will be okay!

<3 Love ya! Angela. (xannaxangelx)

Answer 4

FIRST OF ALL---
stop caring what other people think!! Stop caring about the flamers and haters! Who would tell you to get an abortion.. and why would anyone say that?
If you have the dedication to raise a child do it. Anyone who has an abortion is just an idiot copping out of something they can't handle because they are too immature and care too much what people think or how it might affect their life when they have SOO many options other than abortion.
Please don't do this just to "to prove everyone that I can" quoted by you. Do it because you want to... do it because you are dedicated.. do it for the love of life... and birth... and your very own baby..
Forget all the stupid and mean people that have nothing better to do than be a hater or a flamer.

You have already come so far I'm sure!! Having your parents abandon you pretty much must be hell! We took in one of my friends when I was in 8th grade.. as a foster family to her.. and it has taken such a HUGE toll on her life because she doesnt have real family.

You are amazing.. and you can do it.. despite what ANYONE says. Do not do this to prove anything... that is not a good reason to do anything in life!

Answer 5

You should NOT have an abortion...by any means...
You are right about having this baby and if you have issues, you are very well aware of them, and that's the most important thing, that you are aware, therefore you can change these issues and raise your child to the best of your knowledge. I would advise you that ...if anything, you don't feel good about having the baby, then give him/her up for adoption, but you sound confident in keeping the baby.
Just trust yourself and don't mind whatever people tell you here...at the end, it's your decision, your life and your baby's now.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

The reason that you are supposed to heat your meat and eat thoroughly cooked meat is the possibilty of contracting some bacteria like E-Coli. If you aren't sick yet, then you are a fine. In the future: 1. Don't eat deli meats at a deli, subway, quizno's because they have cooked and uncooked meats that are all cut on the same slicer. 2. Avoid shellfish. 3. Drink plenty of water 4. Watch your carbs, get tested for gestational Diabetes 5. Limit your fish to 6 ounces a week. Avoid fishes high in mecury like sword fish.

Answer 7

CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!!
For me and everyone i have ever talked to, i am fully proLIFE but at the same time, i can settle for being pro-choice. I understand what you mean, but i say go for it, rasie this kid, and be the perfect mom you are ment to be. And if the father tells you to have an abortion tell him to go **** off, and that you do NOT need any man to help you, since you are a stong women. The same thing is happening to my best friend who is due in like 2 wk, or close to 2 wk...so i am a firm beliver in doing things yourself, not only because then you dont have to redo them, but you are the one to count on, and you desicon is the one that matters. I persoanlly think that having this baby, and raising him/her by yourself (if no one is there for you) is a good idea, you can prove not only to yourself that you can do it, but to eveyone who says all those bad things about you...if u ever need to talk about your "situation" just ask me, and i can help you, between me, my friend, our moms and our independance, you are in good company so who cares what nasty remarks ppl make, it is because the only things they know how to do, and are good at is putting other ppl down since they are always put down, good luck and i hope that you keep your baby..have a great day, and GOOD LUCK no matter WHAT...

Answer 8

This is the first time I've read one of your questions. But I am glad you are keeping the baby and raising him/her. Sounds like you've had a rough life and are making the best out of it now. I'm sure you will give your baby the best life you can.
Good luck and congrats!

Answer 9

I don't know you or how old you are, or your situation... but if you want this child, and are able to provide for him/her, then do just that. Do it because you want to and think you can provide best for this child, not because you have to prove anything to anyone. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 10

congrats. i hope everything goes well for you. anyone can raise a child it's about doing it right and forming a good person.