My 3 yr old daughter has gotten used to wearing sandles and "crocs" all summer. Now that preschool has started (where she has gym) she refuses to put gym shoes on. When I say refuses, I mean screams bloody murder, cries, begs, pleads, runs, hides under the bed, resists...one time I finally just pinned her down and put them on and she just kicked em right off. I've asked her why she doesn't want to wear them but she just screams "No!" or "I want my sandle shoes!" I've even offered ice cream (one of her favorite rare treats) and she passed it up. This has been going on for a month now...the cold weather is just around the corner and she can't very well wear sandles in the snow! Has anyone else ever had this problem? Why do you think she hates gym shoes sooooo much? Keep in mind that she's normally very cooperative and that this is the ONLY thing that causes such hysterics. It's like holy water to Damien! Thanks!
2007-10-04 06:36:39 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
WI MOM: It's only twice a week for 2 1/2 hours...go somewhere!
2007-10-04 07:08:01 · update #1
Samekid4: you're obviously young and no, my daughter is not a spoiled little brat (it sure does take one to know one).
2007-10-04 07:15:15 · update #2
It's time for a sticker chart. Your daughter is old enough to know that as long as the battle is still going on, she hasn't lost yet. You need to end the battle now.
Tell your daughter (when she is calm, not in the middle of the shoe battle) that she simply may not wear her sandles/crocs to school because it is your job to decide what is safe for her and tie shoes are safer. Explain to her that on the weekend she will be able to decide for herself what shoes to wear as long as she cooperates on school days. Most likely this will not work at first and you will have to use a reward chart.
Simply use a calendar and every day she gets ready for school without arguing she gets a star. Then when she reaches a pre-arranged number of stars (Five at the most) she gets a reward. The reward can be as simple as choosing what the family gets to have for dinner. With my kids the best rewards were always the ones they chose themselves. My son was famous for choosing a "mom and me night" which usually involved a disney movie for just the two of us. (Avoid rewards that involve buying toys-this feels too much like buying your child off)
By the way, the strong will your daughter is showing now, will serve her well when she is older and standing up to peer pressure. Don't try to destroy it, just try to train it.
2007-10-04 07:01:19 · answer #1 · answered by notmuchofacook 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children don't begin to understand reason until around age five, so the only thing the reasoning and conversations and questions will not get you far. A three year old will only respond to positive or negative reinforcement. It sounds like he's beyond positive, but it's worth trying. This sort of stuff has been mentioned by other answerers: praising him when he does something good, giving him a reason to want to care for the baby instead of hurt her. You're doing a good job by being sure you spend time with him. I'd increase the talk of how he is a good big brother. What a good helper he is, etc. Kids want to be praised. When the baby cries, take the bottle to him and say, she wants her big brother to feed her!! or let him think he's the best at making her laugh, etc. Make him her "protector" teach him the things that are dangerous for the baby so he can make sure she doesn't do them or touch them. eventually teach him to "protect" her from falling off the couch! Negative reinforcement isn't always a bad thing. A firm NO is a good start, if he needs stopped... redirect him immediately. But reasoning, I hate to say it, isn't going to work yet. Keep it up, it's probably a phase.
2016-04-07 03:51:51 · answer #2 · answered by Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is the same way. She wears those crocs too, but she is not in school so I havn't have to force the shoe issue. She wears them all the time, everywhere and as cute they may be, they don't look so cute with a fancy dress :).
Anyway. I don't know if you could send her sneakers to school and have her change once she has gym. Kids are usually better at school then they are at home and if her teacher tells her she needs to put on her sneakers, she may listen.
Also it might be worth taking her to the shoe store to pick out some new sneakers, they make some with just a simple strap that is similar to crocks, but stay on better.
I hate going from sandals to sneakers too. So I know how she feels. I wear mine until snow covers the ground(which for me in the south is rare). The are probably just uncomfortable.
2007-10-04 07:26:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Occasionally my kids have suddenly gotten grumpy about a set of shoes and I've only belated realized that they've outgrown them. Check to see that the gym shoes actually fit (even if they're the same size as sandals, they may actually be too small with the closed toe).
Beyond that, follow the advice to take her to pick out a new pair (have her choose which ones feel best), point out to her the beautiful shoes that her friends are wearing, and then just pack up the sandals in the basement. At 3, out of sight will eventually be out of mind..... You might want to let her pick out some new socks, too, and consider trying the sneakers that light up when you walk....
2007-10-04 06:51:42 · answer #4 · answered by ... 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Toddlers thrive on routine and you want to change her routine. Start by not allowing her to wear them at home. Tell her that they went away for the winter and they will come back again in the summer. If its warm enough where you live, let her go as long as possible in them. When it gets cold enough, she will decide that she needs warmer shoes. They usually do just what you want them to do.....when they want to do it!
Make sure you show her all the other children in gym shoes too. That usually helps. If all else fales and you will not need the shoes again next year, cut the strap and say uh oh broken. Then offer the gym shoes as the replacement. Good luck!
2007-10-04 06:42:17 · answer #5 · answered by wife2denizmoi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My 3 yr old is exactly the same. I bought her so many pairs of shoes and the only ones she wears are the crocs. If I put some other shoes on her it is like a battle and I always lose. I tried every thing and I finally gave up. Sorry I am no help to you but at lease you know you are not alone.
2007-10-04 06:48:44 · answer #6 · answered by smeagolrocks 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have experienced a behavior kind of like yours with my daughter when she was about two but it was only when she couldn't have something she wanted. As long as she got what she wanted she was okay. However, although your daughter is normally cooperative, she is going to continue to act in such a manner if you allow her to. Offering her ice cream to bribe her to do something is not good at all. There should be a punishment for acting out like that, like taking away something she likes, along with letting her know she has to wear the shoes and if she does not there will be a punishment. Once she realize there is a punishment for her behavior it will stop. I know that it can be hard sometimes when they are so young but that's the only way to fix the problem.
2007-10-04 06:45:38 · answer #7 · answered by So Fly 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She is 3 and therefore needs to control things. You could try taking her to the shoe store and letting HER pick out a pair of school shoes. Other options are 'loosing' the sandals and putting on a good sow of looking for them (don't do this when time is an issue). Also, reverse psychology works great for this age, but you will have to be very over the top with your act and very convincing (these little guys are very suspicious)!
2007-10-04 06:44:18 · answer #8 · answered by I know 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is kind of the same way. She likes these one particular pair of sandals I bought her but she is growing out of them. So I took her with me to the shoe store and let her HELP ME pick out 2 pair of sneakers and told her your a big girl now and these are big girl shoes. You can jump high in these shoes. And I went over the colors with her. I just made it a big deal. I know it may sound silly but trust me it works. Now my daughter loves her new sneakers and jumps around the house in them like a bunny. LOL!! You may need to get rid of the crocs because she might continue to behave that way until she forgets about them. She cant forget about them if she can wear them sometimes. Thats just like taking a binky or a bottle away from a child. If you tell them they cant have it in the day but can at night, it confuses them. So it needs to be taken away altogether and eventually they will forget about it... GOOD LUCK and I really hope this helps...
2007-10-04 07:22:20 · answer #9 · answered by MonaLisa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 yr old grandbaby and shes not use to regular shoes now either.(we live in florida so she wears them all year)She is use to her crocs also.(well,sometimes the high heeled plastic shoes)She puts all the fancy charms on them also which makes them more appealing to the kids.
I would suggest letting her pick out new ones at the store also.Ones she loves!
But,I would also have the teacher explain to her that crocs arent appropriate for gym use and that way she knows its not just you saying no there is a real reason behind it.
Our kids here have no gym floors because we dont have indoor gyms they are expected to play outside so crocs work fine.
If not move to fla!!!LOL
2007-10-04 06:48:07 · answer #10 · answered by hugsandhissyfits 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋