My fiance tends to think that living without a belief in God is a depressing way to exist. He thinks living without "hope" for a better afterlife, or any afterlife at all, is a waste of life.
I want him to try to understand that I am full of hope, it just isn't the false kind of hope he has.
2007-10-04 06:30:47 · 24 answers · asked by Linz ♥ VT 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Rach: We do respect each other's beliefs. I do understand he is just concerned for me. But I need to make HIM understand that I am still a person with hope.
2007-10-04 06:58:08 · update #1
thats a difficult task....
2007-10-04 06:44:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well you're going to think he has false hope. He is going to think you have no hope. Honestly, it's just something you're going to have to live with--you may both understand where the other is coming from, but at this point in your life I wouldn't expect change from either front. You'll both have to be willing to make a go of it knowing that neither is likely to change--this will likely get more complicated if you have kids. ("Now honey daddy is giving you false hope the invisible man doesn't exist")--I wouldn't expect that to go over well. I'm not saying it can't work, just that it isn't likely for either of you to understand and adapt. From the tone of the question I'm not really getting that either of you respect the other's beliefs, it sounds more like you understand each others beliefs, and overlook them to an extent because you love and care about each other.
Just my take Linz...in any event the best to both of you.
2007-10-04 14:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by Todd 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he'll never understand, but that doesn't mean you can't get along. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree, and respect each other when it comes to your individual choices regarding these matters.
You were a Christian not that long ago, if I remember correctly. You should know that he's just concerned for you.
But as I said: he should respect the decisions you make regarding what you think and believe, or don't believe. It's probably just a new concept to him, and he just needs to get used to it.
EDIT: Relationships with people of differing religious views can work, despite what some of these other answers are saying. It takes time and a lot of patience, and as I said before: a whole lot of respect. But keep in mind: that goes both ways. As you know, you can always email me about these things...I do have quite a bit of experience in this department. :)
2007-10-04 13:34:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
Too many believers can't understand the concept of freedom from religion, or the positive emotions that go with it. After living an entire life under the doctrine that teaches such a life is miserable, they assume it's miserable. Until they can understand that such teachings are nonsense, they won't understand that life. And, since questioning faith is frowned upon, most won't take the step to try and understand it.
2007-10-04 13:43:12 · answer #4 · answered by Armless Joe, Bipedal Foe 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sigh.
Look - i know a lot of people are probably typing away and coming at you about conversion (or de-conversion of your fiance). Others are probably going to tell you that this should never be, dump your future significant other, or "Have you realyl thought about this?"
But hear me out.
I it really isn't about that - This could be a conversation about why He likes Chocolate and You like Vanilla.
Think i'm kidding you? No i'm not. Your fiance likes Chocolate, Chocolate is the world to him. Chocolate is the only flavor that matters and that's that.
Part of the thing you have to do is express while you like Vanilla - not to convert him over to liking Vanilla but explain what Vanilla does for you. Why Vanilla, for lack of a better phrase, turns you on.
Your probably not going to switch ice cream flavors, neither is your fiance. Your fiance must learn that your concerns are just different.
2007-10-04 13:39:57 · answer #5 · answered by D.Chen 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A true believer in God and Christ would already understand that not all are given understanding in this life; that God has allowed the vast majority of mankind to be blinded to the truth and hope of his salvation.
John 12:40 -- "He [God] has blinded their eyes and hardened their hearts, Lest they should see with their eyes, Lest they should understand with their hearts and turn, So that I should heal them."
And Jesus said, "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are FEW who find it" (Matthew 7:13-14).
But he should also understand that their hope is NOT lost. Because God desires to save ALL people, but each in his own order:
1 Corinthians 15:22-24 -- For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive. But each one in his own order: Christ the firstfruits, afterward those who are Christ's at His coming. Then comes the end, when He delivers the kingdom to God the Father, when He puts an end to all rule and all authority and power.
2007-10-04 15:01:21 · answer #6 · answered by BC 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The problem is that believers are simply not capable of understanding those who do not have the need to believe in a supernatural creator or an afterlife. You will never get him to understand as long as he is living this life of self-delusion. I really hate to say this, but having basic life philosophies as opposed as yours are to each other makes for a really poor chance that the marriage will survive. You might want to consider this before you walk the aisle.
2007-10-04 13:36:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
You have a personal mythology that works for you like theirs. Assuming they are correct in their beliefs how much of what they believe do they really think they have correct or could understand correctly? So maybe belief is just a direction not the place yet.
2007-10-04 13:35:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps it would help if you explained to him why you are filled with hope. Maybe he just doesn't see how somebody could be hopeful without an afterlife.
Good luck.
2007-10-04 13:38:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This guy wants to marry someone who he thinks is a depressed person without any hope?? I dont get it... But you might want to avoid use of the words "false hope" when referring to his faith...unless you want to really piss him off.
I honestly dont know what to tell you. You seem like one of the least depressed people Ive come across on this site.
2007-10-04 13:36:58 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You probably can't. At least, there's nothing you can say. Some people are just determined (or brainwashed) to think that those who don't share their beliefs are miserable for doing so.
All you can do is live your life, and let him see your happiness. You don't have to prove *anything*.
2007-10-04 13:36:43 · answer #11 · answered by Jess H 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋