is my mum abusing me?

Question

my mum does stuff to me whenever I do anything wrong and I mean things by accindet,like today I droped my contact lense and she pulled some of my hair out and I know Im stupid dropping my contact but Iam only 13...

my dad is completey useless he just calls me stupid and lets her do whatever she wants...

Answer 1

If things are just as you say, that is abuse pure and simple. If this is a one time deal, just be on your guard, if it is not or happens again report her to the school counselor.

Answer 2

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
She is absolutely abusing you; both PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY!!!!! -"Pulling out some of your hair" is quite obviously the 'physical' part; and you said "I know I'm stupid...", so she is clearly 'playing with your head'!!!! You are certainly NOT "stupid" for "dropping a contact"(!!!!)........(you're human) and oops, so you 'dropped a contact'; and for this she resorts to 'corporal punishment'(?!) -SHE is the 'stupid' one!!!
It sounds as though your 'home' is not very 'homey'....that's no way for you to live! (Been there myself....!) Have you thought about leaving home?(I DON'T mean 'running away'..!) You may want to think about calling some sort of 'Childrens' service or agency; you could possibly go into a 'foster home'....or to a lesser extreme, someone could give your parents a 'good talking to'...!
Why not talk to a counsellor(or teacher) at school? If you're too embarrassed or simply don't want to share that part of your personal life, you could say you're looking for information 'for a friend'.....there are also 'Crisis Centres' (usually 'toll-free' numbers) that you can call and remain anonymous if you just want to 'talk' and/or 'vent'(Check the front of your phone-book.)...!
You really SHOULD get HELP!!! As you said you're "only 13", you shouldn't have such 'stress' in your life, you should be starting to 'spread your wings'......NOT 'turning inside yourself' and 'curling up in a ball', and being surrounded by 'misery'!!! You've 'reached out' by writing here, now 'grab onto' some assistance!!!
You're NOT alone!!! (And you're NOT stupid by the way!!!)
SMILE honey!!!!!! -Things have to get better, right??!?! :)

Answer 3

Abuse is an over used term that conjures up all kinds of imagery . The answer is: Your mom and you require proper training techniques and education. The dog should NEVER be left alone to chew - and a dog should never be punished after the fact. And putting a dog in a crate as punishment is not helping - Yes, your mother is wrong in 1000 different ways, Get help. ***************8 Nobody is pointing fingers - OK - so you put the dog in the cage to keep it away from your mother. If you are asking is your mother abusive - and if someone said yes, what would you do with that information. The best case scenario is : animal control would take your dog because I presume you are a minor. The worst case scenario is your mother would be charged and the dog would be seized. neither are good. FWIW, Based on what you provided I don`t consider it the legal definition of abuse for animals based on what laws exist in the country I live (Canada). Its also difficult to enforce unless the dog has obvious signs of trauma (open wounds, brusies, etc) I certainly agree its wrong and your puppy will develop other neurotic behaviours as a result as well as becoming hand shy (which you have already noticed). Its really sad to read this. Its almost impossible for a minor to dictate to their parents how to reprimand a dog because in the eyes of the law, dogs are property and your mother is the owner. However if your mother is hitting you as well, and or being hit by another , then you should report this to your guidance counselor at school - or if you are not in school the police because there is a law against that and your mother needs counseling and support. While I could be reading more into this than exists, its unfortunately not uncommon for woman who are being physically abused by their spouse (or other) to begin to hit their children, or in this case their dog. The weakest most vulnerable member of the family is usually the target. If you do nothing else, keep your puppy Crated WITH THE DOOR SHUT when you are out, to prevent the dog from chewing and ensure the dog is actively supervised when you are home. That means watching the dog ALL THE TIME when it is out. PREVENT accidents from happening is the best way to avoid unnecessary punishment of the dog. I leash my puppies when I`m training them in the home to ensure I have control and to prevent the grabbing and frantic movements. I also NEVER blame my dog for being naughty - dogs are dogs - it is your responsibility to train them. If my dog chews, or gets in the garbage or counter surfs or digs - its MY FAULT for allowing puppy the opportunity. Puppies require a lot of work and structured exercise. Hitting a dog is a loss of control - and done repeatedly the dog most certainly will suffer permanent behaviour problems. You would benefit from puppy classes - take your mom with you and learn some positive ways to train your dog. ********** Don`t scruff, pin, hit, roll or in any way physically punish the dog. Dogs develop distrust and fear from owners who do that. Put a leash and collar on the dog in the house - and out - and begin a routine of walking and exercising the dog and teaching it obedience.

Answer 4

Sounds like your mom has an anger issue. If she physically does things to you over little stuff like dropping your contact then yea your being abused and I am so sorry for that.
You are not stupid because you dropped something, we all drop stuff they are called accidents, because it wasn't done on purpose. I think you should find someone you can trust that you can talk to. A friend, teacher, grandparent, aunt , anyone cause it sounds like your parents need help in the parenting department.
Talk to anyone you think will listen to you. Do you go to church? Can you talk to your pastor? Just get some help before you really get hurt.

Answer 5

Ahh. that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. You surely dont think your stupid for dropping a contact do you. And yes that's abuse. By your statement it sounds like its been going awhile if your faulting yourself to justify the actions of her.
Unfortunately I don't have any advise for a 13 yr old to remedy the situation. The responsibility is up to your Mom. You should tell someone who can speak some sense to her in a way that she knows you want her to feel better.

Answer 6

I'm sorry that this happened to you. My mom was like that too. Though it is no excuse I later found out that she was taking out other things on me. She would be upset with my dad or her life & I would get the grunt of it. Though contacts can be expensive they are so easy to loose.
I do believe that if you were to maybe "tell someone" they would consider this abuse if it was a constant sort of thing. However would you be comfortable with the consequences of that? Be strong & do not let your self esteem be affected by this. Good luck to you. Remember that your mother is just as human as you are and that she may need help too.

Answer 7

Obviously you are emotionally abused and possibly physically abused...I can tell by the way you say you are "stupid" for dropping contact lenses. Accidents happen and its up to us moms to help the child understand that it ok but to learn how to be careful. My boys are learning how to take care of things...they broke my prized salad bowl but they are kids and are learning. Please talk to someone you trust that can help you find the solution you need in this situation. You are brave for seeking help!

Answer 8

Yeah that's considered abuse which can have many long-term side effects. Talk to someone there locally a pastor a doctor someone who can intervene, just because she's your mother doesn't give her the right to yank your hair out for accidents you do.

Answer 9

No person of any age should put up with any form of physical abuse, least of all from a parent. Your parents dont seserve you, particularly if your father just doesnt bother. Yoy got to get help to get the situation changed or to get out of it

Answer 10

It's not right that your mom sis that. Sounds like she's stressed. Go and stay at a relative's house for a weekend to get away if she doesn't do this often. She might need a break.