Would you agree to join the Atheist religion?

Question

Here's a fresh idea. Religionists are always making the accusation that 'atheism' is a 'religion'... so, why don't we just embrace that idea, and engage them on their own turf? The goddess 'Athe'... divine patroness of knowledge, reason and critical thinking. Since Atheists already outnumber Jews, there should be no problem in attaining tax-exempt status... nobody could dismiss 30 million 'believers' as a mere cult. Surely, some christians will make the accusation that we can't 'prove' that 'Athe' actually 'exists'... but that argument can easily be defeated by reference to their own play-book... although in this case, 'exist' would only be in the sense of an abstract idea... like 'Logos'. We could even have 'Saints'... Darwin... Einstein... Paine... Bacon... etc.

There should be a figurehead... 'Pope' is already take. How about "The Freakin' Deacon"? We could have an election... the obvious candidates would be Dawkins... Dennett... Harris... Hitchens... maybe a few more.

Susan Jacoby could be the 'High Priestess'... or maybe the 'Reverend Mother'...

All hail 'Athe'... the guiding light of Atheists. (Note: The word 'Atheist' shalt henceforth be capitalized.)

OK... getting ready to hand out assignments. Who wants to take on the task of constructing a pseudo-mythology that has pseudo-Greek philosophical roots, is self-referential and self-serving, and we can then subsequently declare to be true? We can base it on the theological 'proofs' of Moronicus, Idiothenes and Dumbassticus.

Looking at some of these answers, I am struck by the fact that some people seem to be oblivious to the concept of 'satire', and its potential as a powerful tool for increasing awareness.

Answer 1

HA! What a great idea. We can have freakin' deacons, sinister ministers, buns of nuns, bastard pastors, vishus bishops, and funky monks.

I suppose our leader could the the "Poke", and he could have a golden hat with a stiffy on top.

Oh yeah, and Athe (Peace On Our Princess) is like a watermelon, 1/3 rind, 1/3 heart and 1/3 seed, or something like that.

And she has a mother who, like Lilith, stole the seed to make her from some unsuspecting teenage boy, and then sent her to earth to spread wisdom and knowledge.

But what kind of a "reward" are we gonna promise to our faithful? Women don't generally want virgins, they want sexualy experienced men who can also cook up a gourmet dinner and wash her pantyhose without putting runs in them. I'm not sure men who aren't virgins themselves would want a bunch of virgin girls either. So let's promise gigolo/chefs bearing diamond jewelry for the girls, and for the guys, maybe some high-class call girls driving Ferraris, or something like that.

We can certainly get tax-exempt status if the Church of Reality gets it.
http://www.churchofreality.org/wisdom/hidden_agenda/

Answer 2

Certainly the overall technological level of mankind has increased over the last couple of centuries with the Industrial and Electronic and information revolutions. However, the idealistic picture you're painting is not the whole story. This is a surface snapshot. Underneath those "eradicated" diseases are resistant new forms of disease. We (mankind) are not the only species on Earth to evolve; our advances have not proceeded without consequences. It is the fear of those consequences which informs many of the Luddite persuasion and those who would have us halt technological progress to allow human psychological and social development to catch up with our prowess with craftsmanship and physical innovation. Then there are those who fear blindly, the ones who take emotional cues from religious texts and use them to justify attempts to halt progress for no other reason than it presents a vague threat that is not fully understood. While Utopia is far from achieved in today's society, it is not homogeneous, nor should it be. There should always be a cautionary voice to offset the eager futurists. However, when the voice of unreasonable fear takes hold and gains a majority say, that is when things become shaky and scary. A complex problem, but not one that is unexpected in any advance society with many layers. Thanks for the question; sorry I'm not an atheist, but I pop in on these all the time, as few questions are aimed at agnostics.

Answer 3

Beautiful , if applicable, piece. Very clever!

You done good, Big j

I wonder if christians will even get the thinly veiled references.

I have, for many years, laughed at the Christian policy, probably catholic in origin, of declaring the Greek attempt at religion…mythology…while moving without hesitation at declaring their own attempt to be universal law and valid while at the same time plagiarizing most of the Greek concept.

Now that you have suggested the actual origin of most of the Christian myth…will someof the smartyer ones do some research or just use the reptilian brain function of “fight or flee”( in this case into denial). My bet is the second choice.

I do appear to recognize the very occasional Christian beginning to question, as we all had to, the entire concept. Good luck to them; the effort requires a good amount of self confidence, not to mention using some of those long dormant brain cells. Most have the brains; the question begs…why don’t the majority call them into work?

Answer 4

I think your humorous question hides a very important truth.

Christians are so vociferous against atheists already (even though we are not organised) because they fear the strength of our argument and their lack of credibility.

Atheist numbers are growing fast now that freedom from religion is allowed.. I would not be surprised to see further exponential growth over the next 50 to 100 years.

I have already joined the 'Brights' (search on google for info.)

Answer 5

Your question reminded me of something Dawkins says in The God Delusion. Something along the lines of "getting atheists to form a group is like herding cats." I have never met an atheist that liked the concept of religion, so I don't think your idea would work.
I DO like the Freakin Deacon, though :)

Answer 6

lol - yes, of course.
I also think atheists should talk about faith...
but we can use the word to mean "something felt strongly for probabilistic reasons" -- since that seems to be what a lot of religious people mean when they use the word.
I think it is a mistake for any atheist to claim they only hold certain beliefs "based on the evidence" as we can believe in certain values, like kindness, empathy, etc. because the results are evidently beneficial.
I have "faith" in kindness! hehe
Now, is there a relgious person who wants to argue with me about it?
Let's put the boot on the other foot for a while, and let religious people try to argue with an atheist who completely ignores whatever "proofs" are put forward if they contradict the faith!

Answer 7

I think Atheism is not a religion in any sense.

Take astrology for example. There are a lot of people who think it is BS but there is no group name for these people. We don't call those people "athestrologers" u kno what im sayin?
So I don't get why Atheism should have a name. I think this is why religious people consider atheism a religion.

I think if we stick to the basics and disprove Christians (the way we disprove astrology) we will be okay. instead of saying "im an atheist, your god is false etc" we should use words like "reality and truth"

Answer 8

First... WOW dad (the guy above me) that was very confusing. you type like my real dad speaks and I can never understand him either lol.
Second... Im not an athiest but I love the "Freakin' Deacon" that was the funniest thing I've heard all day. thank you lol. Although I am not an athiest I would help in any way possible. lol. =) have a great day

Answer 9

I'll start writing the mythology, but only if someone promises to write a counter-mythology that is ideologically almost the exact opposite of mine. We then need someone else to edit the two together into one book. It may sound overly complicated, but it's the only way to give the contradictions that truly insane flavor...

Answer 10

Even though I'm not an Atheist, I'll design the "Official Athe-honoring Board Game".......