My 15 year old daughter just came to live with me. She was living with her father from age 10 to 15.
She sets an alarm, but can not get up on time. I had decided to leave her alone for waking up. Today, the alarm went off for 1 hour and she did not wake up. So, I went it and turned on the light and told her to wake up. She sad that I looked at her with "mean eyes."
Then, she threw a tantrum - hit me and threw things around and did not eat breakfast. She was late to school and may get Saturday detention. She cried so much and said that she hates living with me.
She also told me that "I don't get along with anyone."
She asks me to leave her alone in the evening so that she can study and then she talks on the phone. I quiz her for her tests and then she says that I don't do enough and she will fail....
I don't know how to handle her....
2007-10-04 04:40:44 · 5 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Put your self in her shoes every now and then. Remember being 15 and how you felt. She is prob. adjusting to being in a new home.
Praise her for the things she does do. She will like the way that feels and will do more things often. Find anything small and praise her for it...tell her thank you for any small thing and make a big fuss over really big stuff. This will really bring up her self esteem. This may take some time so be patient it works promise. Don't give up on her and don't give up on yourself.
2007-10-04 05:13:28 · answer #1 · answered by Belinda J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to tell you the truth she is spoild weather its coming from you or her dad.and her hitting you has to stop the reason she attacks you that way is cause she see's fear in your eyes and thats were you failed.let her see the damage she is doing on her own when it comes down to school,she has a responsibility that a 3 year old can handel and she cant even do that if she cares for you to help her in school then she should care to make it there on time to.let her school take care of her punishment,and while she is home you take care of yours.take the phone away and the things she loves you have to show her you play no games and she must respect you as you do her.what ever kids say when there mad is just things that they feel for the moment and,you need to spend more alone time with her go see a movie take her to eat and make it your chance to let her know how she feels and be fair to understand were she is coming from to.you have a hard one in your hands and it gets me upset cause i never had a chance to know my mom she left me and my lil sister when we needed her the most i was 5 and my sis was 3 she past away with cancer in the blood and my mom never took time to see her or see how was i doing.the last time i seen her was in 1993 and i looked for her we live in the same state and she wont look for me i'm 22 and have went through alot in my life with fam and friends but i would never het my grandmother who i call mom she does what she can for me even if it pisses me off..write back and talk to her i can tell her my life store and if that dont wake her up she is just careless..and thats no good it has to change.
2007-10-04 05:00:02 · answer #2 · answered by Sashary C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she is upset in general. it could be from leaving her fathers house and his rules, or lack there of. She might need more time to adjust. One thing to try is set your alarm for the same time and wake up with her. If she feels like your doing things with her she may grow closer to you. also talk calmly to her, never get in a yelling match....NO ONE likes to be yelled at. ask her to sit down and explain very honestly in a calm voice what she is mad about, and dont speak until she is completely finished. now this doesnt mean that when shes done you go on the defensive and point out why you think shes wrong for feeling this way. no one can be wrong for their feelings. so take what she says into consideration, and see if you cant see her point with out comprimising the rules or values of your house. Finally, i hate to break it to you, but your little girl is gone, now all you have is an angry, confused teenager who is looking for where they fit into the world. for the next 3 years shes probably going to be a real pain, but dont give up on her, because right around the time they go to college and start having to do things for themselves they start to realise how good they had it at home, and they come crawling back looking for comfort, advice, wisdom, and also food and money. so stay calm, be strong, ask for your ex husbands help when you need it, and just keep reminding her how much you love her!
ps if if your daughter is doing her homework and wants to be alone thats fine, set time aside like dinner, and breakfast to talk about your days, but the fact of the matter is shes growing up and shes starting to want to do things alone or with friends, its important to let her explore so she can go out on her own and be successful some day.
2007-10-04 05:03:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you make them. What the hell is wrong with you. Who is the parent in this situation. Sure doesn't sound like you are. I would put a stop to that little spoiled brat in a hurry before it gets worse, much worse. I am talking trouble, jail anything. Dont let her run you. You will regret that forever. Get counseling or something. Or get some balls!!
2007-10-04 05:01:49 · answer #4 · answered by babygirl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
With love u can handle her.She regrets parents separation.she was with her father and girls r more close to their fathers,its very natural and in your case she thinks you should have get along with him for your daughter.u can explain her slowly with love if u have for her.Better teach her responsibilities letter.at this time she only need your love,s assurance.Talk to her about her interest and friends.it will help to come close to her .when she will start respecting you then u can handle her .
2007-10-04 05:02:43 · answer #5 · answered by Tehseen B 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋