I've been having these dreams about my ex.?

Question

In every dream that I had he's calling me on the phone & asking me to take him back. Excuse my language but I don't want his cheating A** back. What do these dreams mean & what can I do to make them stop if possible?

Answer 1

You may not want him back, but you might be recognizing that he may want you back. It may be that you take comfort in saying (playing the old song) "Hit the road Jack, and don't you come back no more, no more."

As for stopping a recurring dream, especially of this nature, there needs to be one or both of two things: (1) a sense of resolve or closure to the breakup, or (2) a replacement.

In the first case you can either help a shrink make his car payment or talk to a friend or two until you've arrived at a conclusion that the matter is concluded and don't need to talk about it anymore.

In the second case, replacement does not necessarily mean a new bf, but if it is something else like a hobby or change of activities, then it would have to be substantially significant so as to crowd out the leisure to mentally revisit the rat that was in your life.

Either one, or both, will take time so be patient with yourself. Remember too, an emotional tie like that may be broken bur rarely erased. I've been with several females in my life. Some I remember like it was yesterday. With others, the picture and even names have faded from memory. Those few, however, had strong ties and emotional bonds. While I had to break with only one, the others made the break with me. Like a lose shoe string, every now and then, many decades later, something will snag the remant of one of those emotional strings, and often it is like pulling a hair, it will hurt. Your tie may be broken, and taking the above actions may help, but it is possible that it will never fully go away. Be patient.

Answer 2

You feel betrayed by your ex. You probably think about him often and wonder "why" he would cheat on you. You might even question yourself as to if it was your fault, (something you did or didn't do, etc.). Most of the time we dream about the things we do or think about during our waking hours and they manifest in our dreams. Trust me...I've been in your situation recently, and still have dreams about the ex. It will just take some time. Love hurts and it is not always easy to "just let go". Try to occupy yourself with different things to do and in time the dreams will fade away.
Good luck.

Answer 3

There are a lot of people who use self-talk to handle what is going on inside their minds. When self-talk is not monitored cautiously it can lead to drastic effects not only on one’s personality but also affects its mentality and psychology. Self-talk is a type of conversation which we conduct with ourselves. In literature we call it soliloquy. Brain’s reticular activating system never forgets what we repeat again and again. Ironically this system can not recognize what is beneficial to the individual and what is not. Think you can, think you can't; either way, you'll be right- a saying goes like this. Therefore when ever we ‘talk’ with ourselves, we should be cautious, very cautious in fact. If I recall there is a book ‘self-talk solutions’ which is every effective in this scenario.

Answer 4

I agree with Anthony C... that happened to me for a while until I was able to let him go. He cheated on me to, but I loved him so much! Things got easier when I found a new man and I have to tell you that he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Give it time. Eventually you won't care about him at all and wonder why you ever did...

Answer 5

He's still in your head, something that you want tell him but probably never got the chance to, so maybe you need to figure out what you want to get off your chest and let him know, if you know he knows then it'll ease the mind alittle.. Or you can just get hammered every night and black out, i don't think anyone has dreams when they're blacked out.. Ha ha..

Answer 6

I think you're missing that emotional connection that that relationship brought you back when things were "good" and before he cheated on you. You sound hurt and I don't blame you one bit! I think deep down you're wanting some healthy, emotional connection.

Answer 7

You feel insucure and in the back of your mind it is only him, whom you dream of. The remidy is in your own hands.

Answer 8

you havent entirely let him go, and because your a good person you still care for him even though he hurt you. allow yourself to move on and in time they will stop.

Answer 9

stop sleeping you will not dreams.....