I already wrote about a pregnancy scare from last year and how my so-called "friends" were very condescending in telling me to get an abortion, making it seem like it was the only "sensible" thing to do. By the way, I was in my mid-20s at the time, had a college degree, 100% financially independent, made decent money, didn't party/do drugs...I wasn't some young teen.
One of the reasons(other than financially) they said for me to get an abortion, was b/c they doubted that my boyfriend would stay w/ me. They never met the guy, yet made judgments & one friend even text messaged me with, "Raising a kid is hard, esp since you're gonna be doing it alone." In reality, the guy was a decent guy...not quite ready to have a kid, & he hadn't finished college yet like I had, but a good guy(I can honestly say that now, since it's been a good amount of time since then & I've known him even more). But they all assumed that this guy was a jerk, or else wouldn't want to stay w/ me...
2007-10-04 03:50:10 · 3 answers · asked by I Hate my haters 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Obviously their harsh judgments of this guy weren't based on any reality, since they'd never met the guy. Obviously their judgments were based on the assumptions that:
a) I have crappy perceptions of people, and choose lousy guys
b) I'm not that desirable for guys to want to stay w/ me
Wow they must have had a high opinion of me to think those things!(sarcasm) Do you see my point here?
Now I admit, I HAD chosen a lousy boyfriend in the past, but that was a few yrs earlier...before I'd even MET most of the people who prejudged and told me to get an abortion! They weren't even there for that! But these people did know that I'd been homeless and worked from ground-up to stabilize my life...do you think maybe they thought no guy would want to ever stay w/ a former homeless girl, not even a decent/average-nice guy?
Why did these people judge my taste in guys(and the guy) so badly? I've seen them judge other girls' guys a lot better. (we're talking bout guys they haven't met yet)
2007-10-04 03:53:35 · update #1
That is understandable, WI MOM. Ideally I think it is best to wait until marriage before having kids. However, sometimes accidents happen & in that event, I believe raising the kid is more moral than abortion. Yes, some people will judge any guy that knocks up a girl outside marriage to be a "scumbag." But the people that were judging, had kids outside wedlock themselves or else they had close friends that did...oh it is ok for them, but not me? They were immature(aged 25-30) hypocrites.
2007-10-04 04:03:38 · update #2
TO JACK OF ALL TRADES: There ya go, assuming that he was a loser...why? Is it because of my rants/questions where I whine about guys standing me up? Is it because of my rants/questions where I whine about other girls having an easier time picking up guys than me? Is THAT why people assume that any guy I choose is a "loser"?
As it turned out, he was NOT a loser. I've known him for nearly 2yrs longer, so I can truthfully say that.
You bring up a good point when you say that maybe I descibed him in a bad light to my friends. But actually, I was very objective & monotone when I told them about him...no bad light casted.
2007-10-04 04:05:55 · update #3
Holy cow. You are hypersensitive and overanalyzing everything.
Odds are, you would have become a single mother. That's based not on you, your choices, or your boyfriend at the time, but on pure statistics. Your bf would not have had the time, money or desire to be an active parent.
2007-10-04 04:27:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you did choose a loser. I never met you or the guy, so I can't say. But, you're a human being, and we all mess up.
If more than one or two people judged you and/or him harshly, maybe it was the way you told about your experience. Don't worry about it. What is important is that you do what is right for that child. Other people's opinions aren't all that important.
2007-10-04 04:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by jack of all trades 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any woman who chooses to get pregnant outside of marriage should have to deal with society questioning her choices.
Anyone with an ounce of sense knows that children raised by unwed mothers are at a great disadvantage.
If you don't want to hear the criticism, keep your legs closed until you are married.
Getting pregnant is never an "accident". Oh, I slipped on the ice and got pregnant!
If you have sex you run the risk. It's called a choice not an accident.
2007-10-04 03:59:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋