I have an issue when I talk to someone of the opposite sex how can I correct it?

Question

When I chat with someone I think I just get so caught up in how cute I am. I am so funny and just love making people laugh and want people to like me. I think I have more to offer then most girls like having that validated. The problem is I when I talk to someone of the opposite sex I end up liking myself more and not them. (I sound like I'm so into myself which isn't the case: I think it's just cause I don't hang around with very many people). I get hung up in the thrill and think I could end up leading them on. I want to have a relationship in the near future with someone but I feel this could get in the way as to were I could never truly like someone.

How do I stop this before it get's worse?

Please be kind in your answers as I am trying to fix the problem before it errupts into something huge proportions.

Answer 1

It doesn't sound so bad if you really have something to offer. I believe laughing is never bad and should be encouraged at all times in everything you do with everyone you care about. I prefer women who are confident and responsible for their own self-worth. Rather than someone who needs compliments, etc. from me to feel good about themselves. That can be very unattractive.
However, it is pretty boring to have a conversation with someone who is only interested in talking about themselves. You have to be able to show a genuine interest in someone by participating with them. Listening and responding. Eye contact and body language (if in person) are also important. Sometimes I have to stop myself from talking if I'm excited and just let the other person speak or I'll come off rude when I'm really not trying to.
Everybody wants to be liked. Including who I want to like me.
It's important for me to remember that there is always enough time. Enough time for everything, including getting to know someone new, and letting them get to know me.

Answer 2

Oh Brownie,
I think there was a song written about you.
"I wish I were you, so I could make love to me."

It's nice to be validated, but what about just listening. Not thinking about what to say next.
If you have any interesting attributes you don't have to worry or get nerves about talking to the opposite sex.
Don't worry about leading people on, well I guess to a point. Just be yourself, relax, and the right person will come along and you will know. You will be able to talk, listen or even sit in silence and feel comfortable.

Answer 3

Its good that you have confidence because guys look for that in a girl. But sound slike you have too much confidence. The only way to correct it, is to listen to them for once. Stop the chatter box and tune in the listening! ASk them questions about them and don't talk about yourself all the time. Its a show off, like when I first read your question and you said

"When I chat with someone I think I just get so caught up in how cute I am. I am so funny and just love making people laugh and want people to like me. I think I have more to offer then most girls like having that validated"

You started the question with that statement, making it seem like you don't want to solve this problem. Its good to know that you are funny and cute and all that but to have people like you and be in a relationship you don't need to say it. Its good to know it and carry yourself like you know it, i.e. carry your head up and not looking down, walking with confidence, making eye contact regardless if you are talking to them or not. Its the whole you look confident and thats all that matters.

Alot of guys and people say that looks is the first attraction and it is but the most important thing that follows is how he/she carries himself, if they lack confidence or try to hard for it, if they know who they are when they talk and walk, if they have their own personality or if they are trying to figure things out on who they are.

With what you call your confidence someone might think it means you lack confidence because you can't stop talking about yourself and you have to have the need to brag about all your good qualities. If you don't show it and they see it then they are worth keeping. If you have to show it or they have to show it to you or tell you then its not worth it because it shows that you or them lack the confidence!

Answer 4

I think you are able to be with a guy who is worthy of you. Don't waste your time with anyone who isn't the same caliber as you. Deep down maybe you already know the way to conduct this sort of thing.

Answer 5

u sound a lil crazy, ur probably just so nervous all u can do is think about yourself, or your very narcissistic. look up narcissistic.