Would you get married to someone who has a different religion from yours?

Question

It would be the greatest thing when someone asks your hand in marriage (right girls?). All things between engaged couple become sweeter and almost inseparable before the big day. But there are things you forget to deal with until it's really near. The religion you share is different from the start. It won't matter at first but when you get too serious and you think about sharing forever with someone, you think of the future of course. Many questions come out of your mind related to religion. Maybe some married couples can relate to this. I need to hear your smart and candid advices pipz.

Answer 1

only consider marrying someone of a different religion if religion is not a priority for you now or how you will choose to raise your children

Answer 2

I think it totally depends on how devout you are in your religion, and even what religion you practice. For example, if you're just a general Protestant Christian, someone who's a Baptist can marry a Methodist and probably be just fine. A devout Catholic or an orthodox Jew, however, would probably have some family issues that needed to be resolved for the marriage to be successful.

My husband and I met at church--so obviously we share the same religious beliefs. We've raised our children in the same religion (13 and 17 years old). Most of our extended families are active members of our church--however a few siblings and their spouses are not.

Having said all that, I know many Christians who are married to Jews/Muslims/etc. who get along fine. I think it really depends on the individual couple. If you go into the marriage realizing this is a potential hot spot, and compromise on the issues relating to religion, then you should be fine. Communicate, communicate, communicate--don't let problems fester. The problems arise when one person isn't willing to compromise. But that's true with any issue in marriage, not just religion--marriage is all about compromise. It's not Burger King--you can't always have it your way! ;-)

Good luck!

Answer 3

I don't believe this could work out very well. Religion is something that often gets in the way when it comes to arguments about values, raising kids, and even where to get married in general (because one church group will be left out). If it is the case where the two were raised in a different religion, but neither practice the separate religions, there is a greater chance that it will work out. However, in either case, there needs to be a serious discussion about the role that church/religion will play in the life of the couple and in the life of any children they plan to have (or already have). Faith shouldn't be a deal-breaker, but sometimes ideas are so strongly held, and differ enough that it simply cannot work. If there is a compromise, say the couple attend church weekly...perhaps there is a church that they can both attend that serves the purpose they are both looking for in a religious service. This depends on how different of a religion you are talking about; obviously, it wouldn't work well with an Atheist and a devout Christian...

Answer 4

Religious differences in a marriage can be very detrimental. Especially if both couples are faithful to their religion. How will the children be raised? Outside of Christianity (and even within some) there are very different beliefs on some issues, and this can quickly become a hot topic in a marriage. You wouldn't marry someone who had totally different values than you, and wanted different things in life, so why would you marry someone that practiced a different religion?

For some, it works. That's usually a result of neither really practicing their religion, just claiming it because they were raised that way. I think in most cases, it is too big of an issue to overcome unless one is willing to convert.

Answer 5

My husband is a different religion than I am, however, its Catholic to Episcopal, so they really arent all that different in the grand scheme of things, but it has never been a problem for either of us. His mother had a problem with us not marrying in the Catholic church, but honestly, that was the only issue we have ever had, and it wasnt all that bog of a problem because its usually the brides church that the wedding takes place in. We are raising our children Episcopal and even though my husband has not attended catholic church since he was a young boy, he still says he is a Catholic. We've been married almost 9 years and our different religions have never been a problem.

However, I can see it being a huge problem if the religions are quite different, say Christian and Jewish or Christian and Muslim, but between protestant religions and the catholic faith I dont really think there is so much of a difference that things would get hairy, most of the issues I think would be worked out fairly easily.

Answer 6

I am. I don't think it should be such a big deal that you are marrying some who has a different religion. If religion was such a big deal you would of run into that as a problem when you first started dating.

Personally, I think every one has a right to believe in there own Religion, as long as your not trying to push it off on any one else. The real question is do you follow your faith exactly how you were taught to do you do every little detail? If so you wouldn't be dating any one that believes in something different. Just my opinion though.

Good Luck and best wishes, listen to your heart.

Answer 7

It should never matter when it's love. A great deal of marriage comes out of acceptance for one another... as long as both of you are willing to accept the differences, there should be no problems.

It always makes it easier to show how the two religions are similar... it may be the way of life the religion it teaches, or certain beliefs. Any connections that can be made make it easier to accept.

If it's something that has never been discussed, ask if it bothers her that your religion is different (but word it so that both religions are different, not that one is different from the other). Come to an understanding about how to take it, and hopefully come into a similar understanding about the differences, and move on. If she loves you, it won't matter.

It's best though, not to bring it up often because it can be rather upsetting.

I personally would marry anyone with a different faith as long as they were not bias about it, and didn't push me to believe in their faith.

Answer 8

My fiance and I are both non-religious - neither one of us believes in any gods or goddesses. His family is Hindu, mine is Christian, but for the two of us, religion is a complete non-issue. Of course, since I'm engaged to a like-minded person, I'm only answering this question hypothetically. I can't say I absolutely wouldn't marry any religious person - it depends on the religion itself and how devout the person is. For example, I would be fine with someone who has spiritual beliefs, but who does not believe that everyone else goes to hell. We may disagree on some things, but it wouldn't be a big deal. However, I would definitely not want to spend my life with someone who whole-heartedly believes that I am fundamentally wrong and going to hell. Not that I would start to believe that too, but it would be a huge obstacle in the relationship.

Basically, in any marriage, there are certain things the partners just need to agree on. Religion is one of those. If you can't reach a good compromise before you get married, don't get married and then put your kids in the middle of the fight later. Bad idea.

I have a dear friend who is Muslim and has been married to his Catholic wife for 10 years. They're perfectly happy. However, neither of them is particularly devout or conservative. They're also the exception and not the rule.

Answer 9

Firstly it is not the greatest thing to be asked for my hand in marriage. The greatest thing would be to win the Nobel Peace price but that is besides the point.

Religion is only an issue if you make it one. Even the same religion van cause a rift between partners. It is all about respect for each other and communication

Answer 10

Nope. Inter-faith marriages are not good. There is a lot of tension, even if you talk about and say that there won't be, there will be. I have yet to meet someone in an inter-faith marriage that does not fight over religion. When you have kids that is even more complicated- letting them choose their own path is just lazy parenting and rarely works. Children want and need direction from their parents. Even though they fight it, when children have a direction from their parents, they are happier and more settled.

How can you and your hubby be united if you have different beliefs entirely? It really is a bad idea.

Answer 11

I am actually going through this now, my fiance and I are not geting married until 2009 but we both are have problems [lanning because of our different religions. He is a christian, and was raised all his life as one. His mother is very in touch with her God and wants us to bemarried at their church, on the flip side I was given religious fredom growing up, I was exposed to everything from catholicism to buddism. My parents are practicing wiccans, my younger sister a christian, my oldest sister is buddist, and my other sister is athiest (sp), I choose to call myself an agnostic, I wouldnt mind getting married in the church but I'd also like to have a traditional wiccan ceremony because my mother has been planning it since I was a little girl and I like the ceremony itself it is very beautiful and would be a great unique wedding. So now my fiance and I are trying to please both sides.... and its not easy.... so with our futures there is another problem I want my children to grow up with the same freedom I had, he and his mother want hem to be raised as christians.....well I dont know how thats going to work out bu its another thing... A lot of people would say marrying someone of a different religion is a bad idea but my fiance and I can comprimise and love eachother enough to respect eachothers wishes... The only problem I really see is our kids and I think we can settle by then.